Some People
by rachel-jessica-evans
Summary: With four brothers each troublesome in their own ways, an overly neurotic mother obsessed with marrying him off, a troublesome ex and the return of his school stalker the last thing that should be on 20-year old Elijah Bennett's mind is that rude girl Darcy Williams he danced with that one time. So why, oh why, does she keep popping up everywhere he goes? Modern AU Gender-Swap.
1. What You Need to Know About Me

'Some People...'

What with four brothers each troublesome in their own ways, an overly neurotic mother, a way too chilled out for his own good father, a lonely best friend and mounting debts the last thing on 20-year old Elijah Bennett's mind is that rude girl Darcy Williams he danced with at that one wedding. So, why oh why, does she keep popping up everywhere he goes?

* * *

I've grown up in a big family, a loud family, in many ways we have always been _that _family. But the thing you have to know about growing up in a family where you are one of five brothers is that if you're weak, timid and quiet then you are never going to be heard and you might as well spend all your time sitting quietly in the corner reading and only speak when spoken too because you're never ever going to be listened too otherwise. But luckily there is an exception to this rule that I've been lucky enough to benefit from. Age. You see, despite the fact that I'm one of five and in nature I'm not overly boisterous or loud I am the second eldest of us Bennett boys and due to the 2, 4 and 6 year head starts I have on my younger brothers I am automatically more respected and my voice is heard a lot more. Now, the eldest of us - Jack Bennett - is one of those annoying people who are pretty much perfect in every way. Jack is the tallest of us, the smartest of us, the best looking of us by quite some way (though I'd maintain none of us are particularly ugly, not even Marcus when he bothers to put some effort in) and is generally one of the nicest, kindest and most genuine people you would ever meet. I do love him, but my god his perfection can rub me the wrong way sometimes and of course everyone dotes on perfect Jack. When I was about 14, I decided that I was going to hate Jack for being so perfect but it lasted all of four minutes because damn it; it is just impossible to dislike that kid on any level.

After me, there's Marcus. The most studious of us Bennett lads, though I should point out that he's not actually overly academic - though he would like to be - no, Marcus is the kind of person who spends endless hours on Wikipedia learning endless facts, not understanding any of them in particular, and then regurgitating them at random intervals over the dinner table. Earlier, I talked about how if you don't try to be boisterous and get your voice heard at a young age then there's no point ever really talking - well, that's exactly what's happened to poor Marcus. He's practically a mute, he has little to no social life and he spends most of his time on the internet looking at stupid useless facts to try and impress people with. By his own admission, he's the worst-looking and least interesting and it's kind of hard to disagree with his sentiment. I try to be nice to him, to include him, but he doesn't help his cause by looking down on the rest of us in a snotty way because we all play Rugby which he seems to consider deeply beneath him. I think that's just because he's the only one of us who doesn't really have any muscle on him, so he'd be torn to pieces if he played. Marcus is 18 and currently sitting his last-year of A-Levels and hopes to be at Uni by September; I hope he is too, living with him is often like how I'd imagine living with one of those Dementors from _Harry Potter_.

After Marcus, there's Kieran. Kieran is 16 and, I'm sorry but there's no other way to say this - Kieran is dumb. Very dumb in fact. Kinda don't want him to ever leave the house for fear that he might do great harm to others or himself kind of dumb. Now, I'm not saying that this kid sits in the corner, drooling and can't string a sentence together (I do have to admit however, that I've been the one tying his shoe's since he was 9 as he still hasn't learnt to do it) and there are times where he shows hints that there's some deeper thinker in there but for the most part, Kieran is very thick and pretty much just wrapped up in himself. Kieran's average day would consist of; getting up, looking at himself in the mirror for several minutes, getting dressed, looking at his naked body in the mirror for several minutes and feeling up his won bicep muscles, going to school, finding some girl to fawn over him, Rugby, shower after Rugby where he will proceed to walk around in just his towel for what seems like hours most of the time, head out and find another girl to snog, come home, look in the mirror more and then go to sleep where he'll have erotic dreams about himself. I can't be sure of that last part, but I know it must've happened quite a lot. Kieran is vain.

Then we get to the baby of the bunch, young Aiden Bennett. Now, I know what you're probably thinking - Aiden's the baby, the youngest of five brothers he must be so sweet, and cute, and doted on and spoiled because he's the youngest little baby and we can't let anything bad happen to him. Now, the last two statements are correct - my mother dotes on this kid like he's going to die at any given second (which, as Marcus informs us, is technically a possibility) and she would send him into the world literally wrapped in bubble-wrap if she could, and I think she may have tried once or twice and Aiden just loves playing up to it. But don't be fooled, this kid is a little shit and missing any moral core that the rest of us seem to have even if it's only a smidgeon (Kieran), personally I think Jack may somehow have accidentally gained Aiden's soul as well. The kid is damn near sociopath. Kieran is self-absorbed, but he's not cruel or overtly selfish and he will help someone out if they need it - Aiden would probably just leave them laying on the ground and would probably knick their wallet too. Aiden is the direct result of spoiled pampering, ego-feeding and what happens when the Devil decides to make a random woman pregnant. In short, Aiden is the anti-Christ. He's only 15, but he's given my father more grief in that time than the rest of us put together; Mum just either turns a blind eye to it because he's her 'baby' or she's just that ignorant

My mother is an odd woman in many ways. I'll give her credit, raising five fairly troublesome young boys can't have been easy - the only thing that gives me hope for Aiden is that we all went through a rebellious stage at 14 through 15; even perfect Jack who was found drunkenly walking the streets one night. Marcus took up smoking for three weeks though I do think that was maybe a cry for attention and not straight up rebellion, Kieran just shagged pretty much every girl in his year and went through that unfortunate Metallica phase and I started smoking weed with my best friend Charlie at that age. That I _totally _don't do anymore.

OK, I do, but none of them know about it and it just helps take the edge off of a stressful family life. Now, back to my mother, who coped adequately with our little rebellions and I think the stress of raising five boys may have gone to her head because in that last few years she has turned bat shit crazy. She was always fairly off-kilter anyway, but ever since the time of Jack's 18th four years ago she's become utterly obsessed with the idea of marrying us all off. I reckon she just wants her house back, but it is fairly odd that she's so obsessed with finding us all suitable wives and marrying us off as soon as possible. Jack is a worry for her because he's 22 and single, and I'm sure I at 20 who hasn't had a girlfriend since I was 17 am becoming a bit of worry too. Imagine that, two single guys in their 20's who are young, good-looking and smart not wanting to immediately settle down with one girl for the rest of their lives. That's not it, we have to marry above us socially apparently because my mother is sick of all the other Mum's at our school - St. Augustine's, Britain's fifth most expensive private school - looking down on her because we're not as ludicrously well off as them which to be fair we're not, paying for five boys to go there has really eaten into our bank account even though we've all - yes, even Aiden - made it quite clear over the years that we'd have been more than happy to attend the local comprehensive to help out. I never liked St. Augustine's and whilst I made some decent friends there we'd all pretty much lost touch in the two years since we'd left. Mum would never hear of it, and we became more and more embroiled in the school's social life over the years which put more and more pressure of my mother who was now obsessed with marrying each of her sons off to the richest girl from the richest family she could find. This worried Jack, whilst I occasionally voiced my own opinion, but otherwise just sat back with a smile on my face and watched the whole thing unravel before my eyes.

My father's a very proud man, and probably the person I'm closest too in the family. He and I just _get _each other and we're very aware that we are sharing a house with five other complete weirdo's and we share many of the same interests, it's nice because I'm not particularly close with my mother. I think I might be her greatest disappointment, only because I'm the only one who will call out bull shit and rudeness when grandeur like guests are visiting and the sad thing is half the time I'm defending my mother from their rude comments but does she appreciate it? Does she bollocks. Dad's favourite activity is to wind Mum up, and when he's not playing with his train set in his study, that's what he can be found doing. The only two things I'd change about my father is that 1) I'd get him to stop reading the Daily Mail and 2) I'd get him some more guts, and will to actually get off his arse and do something about our families mounting debts because someone's got to or we could end up homeless in a few years. He owns a model train shop that is failing - badly - and despite the fact the head teacher of St. Augustine's is perfectly willing to give Dad a job teaching History. You know, the degree he actually went to University to get and has done precisely nothing with, Dad won't take it because of his pride, which as history or whoever came up with that quote tells us - comes before a fall and I fear our family is due a massive one.

But Elijah what about you? You're telling us all of this, shouldn't we at least know a bit about you? Well, the truth is I'm really just not that interesting - I'm more interesting than Marcus, don't get me wrong - but I've always just been _average_. I'm not the best at sports, I'm not the worst at sports. I wasn't the smartest in my class, I wasn't the dumbest in my class. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, I'm not the worst looking guy in the world... OK, that one's a lie. I am pretty good-looking even if I do say so myself. I'm just little old me; I use snarky and sarcastic comments way too often (to the point where people no longer know if I'm being genuinely nice or not anymore), I like reading books and being a bit of a dork about Harry Potter, I have a dry sense of humour and I'm very aware that I'm surrounded by the most surreal and odd family in the entire world. I'm 20 and still living at home because the economy sucks and I can't even afford to rent a shoebox flat, I work behind the bar at the local Rugby club and in my life I've kissed 23 girls, had sex with 8 (maybe 9 but I don't think what we did at 14 necessarily counts) and have never been in a relationship that has lasted longer than eight months. Marcus says I'm a bit of a slut. I used to play Rugby, but I never had the will or the interest to carry on after High School so I got to the gym for an hour everyday to make sure I don't develop Dad's natural stomach. My stomach is nice and flat and damn it, I'm keeping it that way. There is one thing I think where I am superior to my brothers, and that is my name. Elijah. It's just so much more exciting than Jack or Kieran, it's a kick-ass name.

So yeah, that's me and my little family. We are who we are, and we're certainly not ashamed of it.

"So, what's on the agenda today lads" Dad asks us all as we sit down to Breakfast. It is a Sunday morning, so naturally Aiden and Kieran are both kitted out in their Rugby gear, Marcus is studying frantically for his upcoming A-level exams and I am looking forward to a nice day in bed because I don't have a shift until later that night, and I have a stinking hangover because last night my best friend Charlie and I went around York town centre with some girls we met at a club. "Elijah, if you don't mind me saying - you look rough as fuck"

"Don't swear at the Breakfast table dear" Mum says swatting my father's arm. Jack smirks. Of course, he's not hung-over because despite the fact he was with Charlie and I all afternoon he decided to "call it a night" at 11 and went home "Are you not feeling well dear?" she asks me.

I want to puke. It's 10am and I have only been home for four hours, Charlie is still asleep on my bedroom floor (lucky bastard), I only got two phone numbers and now I'm expected to eat scrambled eggs and sit there with a smile on my face as my family make small talk.

"Fine" I say putting my head in my hands.

"He's hung-over" Aiden pipes up, a malicious grin on his face "He and Charlie went out last night, came back in around half-five, they woke me up. Charlie's asleep on Elijah's floor and someone was sick in that bathroom"

My mother puts down her knife and fork and gives me disappointed face, as I try and mouth to Aiden that he's a dead man. See, my mother's ideal way of living is pretending like we're characters from _Gone With The Wind _- she has yet to understand the unfortunate racial implications that go with that claim - and in her head me drunkenly stumbling into the house at half-five in the morning with my gay best friend does not fit into her little world. Dad winks at me looking oddly proud.

"Oh Elijah, I cannot believe you would do this to me" She exclaims, I think she's about to cry. "You know I have book club meetings with the other Mum's on a Sunday morning, and you've wilfully ruined that"

"Yes, Mum, that was my plan all-along" I say, unable to stop the sarcasm from seeping out of me. I think it doubles when I'm hung-over. "Last night, Charlie and I were in the Rugby club when some girls started flirting with me and right then my first thought was, 'I know I'll go out and get drunk because it will ruin my mother's book club meeting tomorrow morning'"

"Well" said my mother cutting into her food "I just think a bit of self-awareness and properness wouldn't go amiss, Elijah. Particularly when I am going to the trouble of finding you a nice girlfriend"

"Can't I find my own" I mutter.

Breakfast is tense, nobody speaks a word and after I manage to swallow some scrambled eggs I excuse myself from the table and head back up to mine and Jack's bedroom where Charlie is still sleeping on my floor. No mattress, no sleeping bag or pillow or anything. He's just straight up laying there. I kick him awake and he mutters that I'm a 'prick' just as I get back into bed. Charlie is the only one of my friends I've truly kept in touch with since school ended, it helped that we went to the same University, which was always going to happen as we've been best friends since we were three years old and he was practically another brother to me. Charlie's very like me; too sarcastic and snarky for his own good, has a troublesome relationship with his bat shit crazy mother and we share many of the same interests. Truly, the only difference between us is Charlie's sexuality. He's been out, to me and Jack, since he was 15 but only managed to drum up the courage to tell his parents two years ago - his mother was initially shocked, though I don't see how she missed the signs - what 15-year old asks to go to a Celine Dion concert for his birthday? He's lucky I love him, that was the longest night of my fucking life. Still, she's had two years to deal with it and is now just as obsessed with finding him a decent husband as my Mum is finding me a decent wife. His dad still struggles with it, but he's getting there and Charlie's little brother Mario thinks it's the best thing ever - though he does get the odd joke in. Charlie's sexuality never bothered me, nor does the fact that when he's drunk he'll occasionally admit he once had a crush on me, and my Mother's reaction to it is what really stunk up our relationship.

"Well, Elijah, it's clear now that you and Charles Lucas must not be seen together. How am I meant to find you a wife if you're seen with a gay? What if people think you're gay, have you any idea how foolish you would make me look"

No, they were her exact words. Verbatim. It's not that my mother is homophobic, in her eyes she's probably the most tolerant person in the world, she's perfectly find with 'the gays' (as she terms them, she thinks it's PC) as long as they don't directly affect her life and it pisses me off to no end.

"How're you" Charlie asks me groggily as he walks over to my bed. I move up and allow him to sit next to me.

"Shit" is my reply. Charlie smirks and I lean my head on his shoulder "I cannot believe I didn't pull last night" I tell him with a yawn

"Me either, you looked fit as fuck last night" is Charlie's reply. Ever since I told him I was aware of his crush and was OK with it, Charlie liked to drop in comments like that - especially infront of my mother.

I smirk and hit Charlie with the pillow as Jack walks into the room having just come out of the shower

"Oh good, you're alive" he says "I was worried Charlie had died, you didn't make any noise for three and a half hours"

"That's called sleeping mate" I reply

Around 12pm, my mother's book club guests - including Charlie's mother - start pouring into the house, so Charlie and I try to discreetly leave the premises before we are spotted however Aiden has left some shoes on the third to last step, which I don't notice, trip over and hit the floor with a dull thud which of course alerts all the dainty housewives who come out to see what all the fuss is

"So, you stayed here" are the first words I here, they are directed at Charlie and come from his mother who stands over us with her arms crossed and a not so amused expression etched on her face, she's never liked me much and considers me to be a bad influence on her son though she did at least appreciate my reaction to Charlie's sexuality and the fact I spent three years being his fucking confidant. She should appreciate me a hell of a lot more than she does.

"Err, yeah" Charlie replies "I think I texted you that I might"

"Oh, it was perfectly all right with us dear and naturally we assumed you knew" My mother says approaching Mrs. Lucas with a nervous grin on her face. Mrs. Lucas rolls her eyes, tells Charlie to make sure he's home for Sunday dinner and gives me a look of disdain for good measure. Mum gives me one too before shooing both Charlie and I out of the front door. We walk around for a bit, trying to piece together the hazy memories of last night before stopping in a cafe to get some food as I was feeling a lot more up to it after the fresh air.

"So" Charlie asks me "Has your mother find you a proper girlfriend yet"

"Nope" I say with a grin "She set me up on a date with that Kyra Chang girl last month - she was nice and everything, but way too obsessed with Benedict Cumberbatch for me to even consider going near here again. Mother was most disappointed."

Charlie smirks and after we've finished our coffee's we make our way back to my house so Charlie can get a few of his things, and I needed a shower before I headed off to work at the Rugby club. On the way home, Charlie noticed something. Something that would no doubt make my mother curious at least and overly giddy at extreme.

Netherfield mansion had sold.


	2. This Big 'Ole House

Some People

Chapter Two

I decided to keep quiet about Netherfield mansion being sold when I returned home for Sunday dinner, mostly because I knew the news would greatly excite my mother who had been banging on about the possibility of the house being sold for months. My decision not to immediately inform her of Charlie and I's discovery was mainly down to the fact I didn't want yet another mealtime to descend into Mum's over excited drivel and also because I was vaguely aware that if I told her at the wrong moment she could very well choke on a pea and die. Then where would I be? Free to pursue a life of singledom quite happily during my 20's like most other boys my age? Heaven forbid. I do love my mother, don't get me wrong, but telling her that Netherfield had sold would just lead us into endless speculation over who bought it. Netherfield mansion is the most desired house around, and I have to admit having been inside it once or twice, it's a pretty nice looking house and very expensive too (six figures, or so my mother has heard) plus it has a kick ass swimming pool in the back garden. The house has been up for sale for about two years, the previous owner's having died, and people were beginning to wonder if it would ever sell. I know my mother will be well informed of the sale at her next book club meeting, or sewing group meeting, middle aged women's meeting... whatever these women do when they get together, so instead I sit at the table listening to Kieran prattle on about his amazing try in Rugby earlier.

"So, Elijah, do you have something to tell me" Mum asks out of the blue the second that Kieran finishes his story.

Oh shit

She already knows about Netherfield I bet

"Err...nice chicken"

Great reply Elijah

Mum rolls her eyes. Dad smirks.

"An apology" she says "For your unacceptable behaviour last night and this morning, embarrassing me infront of all my friends and especially Mrs. Lucas."

"Sorry I got drunk and had fun" I tune out slowly. Jack closes his eyes and cringes, shaking his head at every syllable

"I have no issue with that dear" Mother dearest says "What I don't like is that blatant disrespect you show to my book club. Honestly Elijah you really are a disappointment, why can't you be more like your brothers?"

I don't even _think _about your bloody book club, love.

"Once again, very sorry" I say "How about I make it up to you by recommending a book for your next meeting"

This seems to perk Mum up, she miles at me and leans forward with keen interest. Dad sits back in his chair, evidently pondering what I'm up to.

"Yeah..." I say, truth be told I wasn't entirely convinced that she would take me up on my offer "It's err...have you heard of _Fifty Shades of Grey_ mother"

I'm a bad person aren't I? A bad, bad, bad person

"No dear" she says, a smile still etched on her face and I can't help thinking that she reminds me of Dolores Umbridge a little sometimes "What's it about?"

"It's a sequel to..._The Picture of Dorian Gray_" I say, everyone around the table is either looking at me with an amused expression or, in Kieran's case, equal confusion "Not many people even know it exists, I'd highly recommend it"

"Thank you love" she says as she gets up and kisses me on my head before taking my empty plate and walking into the kitchen. Silence as my brothers and father all stare at me, each of us trying not to be the first to laugh

"We can't let her take that in" Jack says

"Oh no, go on, it'll be a laugh" smirks Aiden "Eli, anything I've said about you in the past I totally take back. You are a God amongst men"

That's ironic because I think I'm going to hell

"Dad, surely you can't approve of this" pipes up Marcus, who I'm sitting next to and truth be told hadn't really registered yet "It's going to completely embarrass Mum"

"I know nothing of this book or its content" says Dad shooting me a wink and a grin which I return "If Elijah thinks this book is suitable for your mother's book club, then by all means she should take it in"

Dad leaves the table, chuckling as he returns to his study. Marcus, Aiden and Kieran get up and start shifting the plates and cutlery into the kitchen; Jack moves up a chair and plonks himself down next to me

"You're evil, you are" he says

"Well, if she thinks I'm her greatest disappointment, then I'm going to have to live up to that aren't I" I reply with a smirk, though truth be told her words did sting a little this time "Otherwise, if I don't disappoint her, then I'll be even more of a disappointment because I'm not living up to my role as her greatest disappointment"

"Mate, you just said the word disappointment four times in a row" says Jack

"Once for every brother who is less of one than I am" I say and shoot him a wink, Jack smirks, and we head up to our shared bedroom. Now, our house is more than big enough to accommodate all of us to having a bedroom each but it wasn't always that way and before we moved in here Jack and I had shared a bedroom at our previous home and had always enjoyed the experience. We stayed up late talking, sneaking sweets and having midnight snacks, watching scary films under the same duvet, making epic pillow forts and just having a laugh so much so that when we moved in Jack and I decided we were going to take the biggest room, and make it a two person room. I always acknowledge that Charlie's my best friend, because he actively chooses to spend time with me - something my brothers don't get a choice in, but after him it's always firmly been Jack and we're always willing to help one another out

Jack's the nicest person you'll ever meet, but he's way too trusting and naive. He likes to see the best in people, even when there's very little good in them, and it's lead him to a lot of hurt and heartbreak over the years so naturally despite the fact he's the eldest, I feel protective of him. I help him to see the world from a more pessimistic point of view, whilst he helps me see it from a more optimistic point of view. We balance each other really well and we're generally very close, and as such he and Charlie are also incredibly close and all of us Bennett boys consider my best friend to be a sixth brother, and Dad also thinks of him as a sixth son and I'm sure Mum would happily trade him for me on the basis of personality, though she would probably try and 'straighten him out' (as she calls it).

Jack and I are very close, and it's a bond I think makes our three other brothers just a tiny bit jealous. In a word, Jack is everyone's favourite brother. Aiden likes him because no matter what bad thing Jack catches the little shit doing, he'll never tell Mum and Dad as long as he promises not to do it again (of course, Aiden being Aiden, does said act once again the next week and the whole sorry charade really continues), Marcus likes him because of his intelligence and the fact Jack will stop and talk to anyone about anything no matter how boring the subject (this is a vital personality trait when living with Marcus, one I don't appear to have inherited) and Kieran just straight up worships the kid like a god. When it comes to me, Aiden, Kieran and Marcus aren't all that bothered - at least not compared to their feelings on Jack. Aiden thinks I'm a nerd, Marcus considers me an unintelligent brute and Kieran gets angry with me because I don't let him steal my condoms. I need those. They create an allusion that I have an active sex life. I'm sure they all love me though.

"I just wanna find a nice girl, you know" Jack tells me as I get dressed for work. I'm currently freezing because I just stepped out of the shower and this house is very, very cold when the heating's broken. Which it is. And has been. For 3 months. Jack's lying on his bed throwing a tennis ball up in the air and catching it

"Well, you could've met the girl of your dreams last night" I say as I try to find my best shirt to wear for work, I spilled beer down my usual once of choice on Friday and it had not yet been returned from the washing "Avert your eyes" I warn my brother as I step out of the towel that had been wrapped around my waist

"I've seen you naked a hundred times" Jack says with a smirk "Look, those girls last night...I'm sure they were lovely"

"That redhead definitely fancied you" I say with a laugh

"Then why did she snog _you_" he says

"Because you left to go to bed at 11" I reply "Mate, seriously, if you really want a girlfriend then you're actually going to have to at some point, you know...go out and meet some girls... and if you tell me you're fucking shy I'm going to punch you"

Knock at the door. Mum comes in and shrieks as she sees me standing there dressed only in a pair of black boxer briefs, I don't know why she shrieked, she did you know give birth to me whilst I was screaming, red and naked.

"For god sake Elijah, we are not an nudist colony" she says as she covers her eyes as I hurriedly put on a pair of jeans

"I agree" I say "Which is why I was naked in the comfort of my own bedroom and not flaunting my stuff all around the house...did you order that book by the way"

"Oh yes, I did" she says with a smile "It's arriving tomorrow, aren't those computer delivery services clever?"

"So Mum, are you actually going to read the book before you take it to the club this week" I can't help but ask her

"Why on earth would I do that" she says as she puts my washing down on the bed and then leaves the room. I reach over and put on my best shirt.

"You're really in for it come Wednesday" Jack warns me

"Bring it the fuck on big bro" I say ruffling his hair as I leave the room and make my way downstairs. I pop my head into Dad's study and tell him I'm off and should be back around 1am, he nods and just as I leave he warns me that Sunday is not a day to try and pull girls. People have work tomorrow. I know this stems from the fact that a year ago I did manage to pull during a Sunday shift and as Jack was away travelling at the time, therefore meaning our room was all mine, I brought the girl back home and let's just say we all had a very awkward Monday morning breakfast. Putting my coat on and knowing that I have forty minutes to do a ten minute walk I decide to walk up past Netherfield, loathed as I am to admit I can't help but be a little curious about who has bought the place. I've always thought it would be an amazing location for a kick ass party, but no young people have lived there for years so I can't help but hope the house has been bought by some fit nubile 19-year olds' with a liking for a big party. I reach the house and there's not much sign that someone's moving in, however the light of one of the upstairs bathrooms is on so someone's in there.

Slowly I make my way to the club, where it turns out I'm actually early for my shift for once in my life. Not that I make a habit of being late or anything like that, but I'm almost always arriving at the very last second and it is amusing to see the relieved and surprised look on my boss's face as I pop up behind the bar ten minutes earlier than I'm meant to start. I enjoy my job for the most part; I really enjoy mixing and interacting with new people and I have a natural talent for banter (or so I've been told) so everything sort of fits into place for me here. I work Tuesday's, Thursday's, Friday afternoon's and Sunday's and Sunday is by far my favourite shift mainly because it's so quiet and we often close early and have a few drinks afterwards. I'm not the world's biggest drinker, but I'll almost always take it if it's offered to me and besides, with the family I come from its bloody well needed. The night, as usual, is quiet with only a few of the regulars popping in to talk to Mr. Gardener, the club manager, about the days Rugby matches and how St. Augustine's was doing overall.

"Your little brother's quite the player ya know Elijah" Gary Baker tells me as I serve him a drink. I nod. Kieran is pretty good from what I've seen, which is a relief as his brains weren't taking him down any promising career paths "I reckon Aiden could be good too with some practice, but none of 'em are as good as your Jack"

Gary Baker has been trying to get Jack to play for the Rugby Club's own team for quite some time but Jack keeps - very politely - turning him down as he's entering his final year of University in September and can't afford the distractions. I'll be starting my third then too, I only attend York university which is very convenient as it means I don't have even more debts hanging over my head from living away costs - just the crippling student loan debt. Ah, to be young in 2014. Gary takes his pint and goes to sit with some of his pals and discuss whatever grey balding middle aged men discuss, probably their wives or the fact they're grey, balding and middle aged. The shift goes buy and it's all rather pleasant but tediously dull and honestly by midnight I just want to go home, sleep and look forward to the fact that I'll have the house all to myself tomorrow morning. So of course I will be making my signature breakfast dish; piling anything that can be taken as breakfast food onto one plate and scoffing it down infront of that morning's edition of _The Jeremy Kyle Show_. The rather tragic thing is it's probably my favourite part of the week, but it is literally the only time in my life I get the house to myself and I don't feel the pressures of having to do 'proper' things such as clean, shower or wear items of clothing.

On my way home, I stop for some chips and end up walking past Netherfield house where two cars have been parked on the driveway. Both BMW's. It seems that whoever's bought the house has already decided to move in, and being the curious little devil that I am, I can't help but go over and see what all the fuss is about. To my luck, and amazement, lugging boxes into the new house is a very pretty - but like, _really _pretty - young girl who looked as if she was my age or maybe a little older. She had light brown hair.

"Hi" she says with a smile

"Err, hi" I say back "You, need any help - or?"

"Oh no" she says "I'll be fine, we're only moving some of the light stuff in"

"OK, Cool, I'll see ya" I say giving her a wave and slapping myself internally for coming across so awkwardly.

She laughs as I head away from the house and towards mine own, where no doubt I can see my mother looking out of her bedroom window towards Netherfield mansion with a look of extreme interest etched on her face

I'm never gonna hear the end of this.

* * *

**Author's Note: **For everyone that has reviewed, favourited or read this story so far I just want to say a massive thank you.

I just want to clear some things up about this story whilst I have a chance. I've always wanted to do a gender-swapped version of P+P but I never wanted my characters to just be clones of Jane Austen's with a different gender, so whilst everyone has their counterpart they're not just going to be carbon copies of Austen's characters as I feel that would be a little unoriginal and I kind of couldn't help giving Elijah in particular a very different feel and voice.

Hopefully, Elijah is coming across well and I wanted him to keep some aspects of Elizabeth; mainly the quick wit but I wanted to adapt him into my own person too. He's a lot more vain than Lizzie and he can be quite arrogant too but he's also very stubborn, which is how I've always read Elizabeth too. Obviously, we get the impression that Elijah is a bit of a flirt and gets around a bit which is obviously very far away from who Elizabeth is. It was just very obvious to me that these are two characters, one a counterpart of another, of different genders living in very different times when it comes to behaviour towards the opposite sex outside of marriage. Elijah is allowed to be promiscuous, flirtatious and a bit of a player whilst Lizzie would've been looked down on majorly for that and I thought it would be highly unrealistic to have Elijah as some celibate hero.

Then there's Charlie, this stories Charlotte, and my decision to make him gay which did not come lightly but there's a story I want to tell there, he's certainly not just token and as for all the others - they're more in line with Austen's originals but I will be giving them all their own little quirks too.

Hope you enjoy, and continue, reading this story!


	3. Brotherly Bonding

Some People

Chapter Three

My mum has gone _insane_. Now, there was always a chance that she was already insane but since she'd discovered that Netherfield had sold she had well and truly gone off the deep end. Not wanting to worsen things, I have decided to keep schtum about the fact I have met the very pretty and clearly very wealthy young woman moving her things into the mansion though I have confided the information to Jack and Charlie both of whom are as non-pulsed about the situation as I am

"Unless there's a gay brother or something that's no use to my mother" Charlie tells me with a laugh as he, Jack and I stroll back home after a quick session in the Rugby club the next night. It's Monday, we all needed it.

"I hate to think what's going to happen when Mum finds out" I say as we turn the corner and Netherfield mansion comes into view. "She'll probably frog-march us all up there and force that poor girl to choose between one of us on the spot, those of us who are of age of course."

"Maybe she won't" Jack says, ever trying to see the best in people "Maybe she'll just let things happen organically"

"Our mother doesn't know the meaning of the word" I exclaim with a laugh. Jack rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds a lot like 'give her a chance'. "Mate, c'mon, this is Mum we're talking about. The woman who bought you an engagement ring to give to your last girlfriend"

"It wasn't as bad as it sounds"

"You were 18 at the time" points out Charlie

"OK, so, maybe mum is a little..._overly keen _on the idea of us getting married" Jack reasons as we turn the corner onto the field that leads us down to the house. I've persuaded Charlie to sleepover so we can head to the Gym early tomorrow morning, the bicep muscle on my left arm feels a little deflated "But, it just shows that she cares about us and wants us to be happy"

"Cruella de fucking Ville could walk through our front door tomorrow and Mum would try and marry us off with her if she was rich enough" I exclaim. Jack gives me a look that tells me it's time we drop the conversation, I do have to agree, Jack and I hate fighting with one another and that's what happens whenever this topic is brought up. Jack sticks up for Mum and refuses to believe that she's this off-kilter marriage obsessed weirdo. Not that I don't love her of course. We arrive home just in time for dinner and, as usual, Mum is very polite to Charlie but as always she asks him if he's found a nice _girl _yet... then when he corrects her, she pretends she 'forgot' he's 'a gay'. Either way it's a stupid question, even if she did forget Charlie's sexual orientation he was hardly likely too. I roll my eyes but manage to keep a civil tongue even if it does take Jack kicking my leg under the chair to do it.

"So... I have been talking with Emily Green and Sandra Collins today" Mother says with a smile. Jack and I look at each other nervously, it's clear she knows who has moved into Netherfield. I'm doomed. "And it would seem that Sandra has been around and met the new tenants"

"Oh really" says Dad, but it's clear he's not really listening. Aiden slumps in his seat looking bored, Kieran's currently off having adventures in his own head from the vacant look on his face and from the look on his face I can tell that Marcus is itching to tell us all a new fact he's learnt...hopefully this one won't be about the symptoms of chronic diarrhea, that was just unpleasant to hear and kind of useless because I assume there'd be one major factor involved in discovering you had chronic diarrhea and it would be very hard to ignore. So yeah, in short, nobody is really listening to Mum but she continues to prattle on

"...A lovely young woman by the name of Charlotte Bingley" she says with a smile ignoring Kieran's smirk upon hearing the last name 'Bingley'. "I believe she's from the south, Kent quite possibly, and she's moved up here with her brothers and one of their girlfriends. She's very pretty and clearly very rich"

"Wow, she sounds like an awful catch" I say in my sarcastic voice. I can't help it, and quickly receive kicks to the shin from both Jack and Dad.

"Yes, well, I doubt you'll have to worry about that Elijah" says Mum "This girl is well mannered, she won't take any of your guff"

_Guff?_

Who says guff?

And I'm sure that Charlotte Bingley will find me absolutely charming. Most people do.

"Oh wow, so it sounds like she made quite the impression on you then" I tell Mum, who shifts uncomfortably in her seat 2 "Tell me, was she good at making cups of tea? Or did one of her many servants do it for you?"

Dad coughs. Dad has many different coughs. Trying to cover a laugh cough. A nervous cough. A break the tension cough. A warning cough. A genuine cough. I've grown up around this man, so much so that I can tell each cough from the others, and it's a relief that he's used the trying not to laugh cough.

Mum shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

"Well, no, I haven't actually met her" says Mum, going slightly red. I can't help but wonder if she's so much as glanced at _Fifty Shades of Grey _yet. "But, I'm sure I will soon, in fact we all will soon. She'll be attending Grace Fairclough's wedding reception this Saturday at the club, her brothers are old friends of Grace's fiancé apparently, so we'll all get to meet them at the weekend"

I groan inwardly. I'd completely forgotten about the upcoming wedding; Grace Fairclough is the daughter of one of Mum's best 'frenemies' and it's annoyed Mum to no end that both of Sally Fairclough's children are married before any of hers. I've never liked Grace or her brother Bradley that much; Grace was in Jack's year at school and she'd always had a little thing for him so for most of those school years she seemed omnipresent at our house. I think they might've kissed once, but I never bothered to ask Jack as I didn't want the details or to be scarred by any mental images should it be true, let's just say if you saw Grace and a horse in a field from a distance you'd be hard picked to tell which one was Grace. Bradley is a few years older than Jack, but I remember him at school acting like the big man, looking down on everyone because his Dad was best friends with the headmaster and boasting about the fact they owned the most horses. Yes, our school was one of _those _schools. So yeah, I'm not really a big fan of the Fairclough family and I could really do without this wedding.

"...And there'll be a free bar of course..." this lone sentence from Mum is enough to shake me from my own thoughts, maybe this wedding won't be so bad if I have an opportunity to get piss drunk and laugh at everyone with Charlie. Plus, I'm sure Mum will want me on my best behaviour on the off-chance Charlotte Bingley falls in love with me at first sight and demands we run off to Gretna Green and elope so me getting drunk will annoy her to no end. Though assuming it was Charlotte I bumped into very briefly last night, I don't think that's likely, she certainly didn't seem to fall for me at first sight. Then again, it was dark so we couldn't really make one another out all that well and I'll look ten times better than normal when I'm wearing my suit on Saturday.

"So Mum" pipes up Marcus from his corner "Do we all have to come to this wedding? It's just my first A-level in six weeks and I've really got to revise as much as I can"

He's such a nerd. God.

"Yes dear, you all have to come" says Mum "Even you Elijah"

Hey woman, I've been on board ever since that free bar revelation. Marcus is the one trying to get out of it. Snap at him.

Could she make it any more obvious I'm her least favourite child. I'm not even fifth, Charlie's fifth (even if he is 'a gay'). Hell, I'm probably not even sixth. Aiden's dead hamster probably ranks higher than I do. And if we're counting Dad in all this, then I'm a solid eighth place.

Instead of vocalising this, I just smile, nod and think of Wednesday when Mum pulls out a book about BDSM at her book club. That happy thought should sustain me for a while, I look over at Dad who shoots me a quick smile before facing Mum again and pretending to listen to her. He's really mastered the art. We're excused not long after and all head into the living room where Aiden switches on _EastEnders _for some reason

"Why are we watching this?" I ask, though Ian Beale's weight gain since the last time I watched this was certainly interesting

"He's trying to impress some girl at school who's obsessed with it" Kieran says with a smirk

"Mate, any girl who's into watching _EastEnders _is not the kind of girl you want to be seen with" I tell my little brother who shrugs and goes back to watching the Cockney shouting fest. Charlie, of course, watches these soap's with his mother every night so is equally as engrossed

"So, this wedding" I say as I turn to Jack "You gonna try and pull"

"No" says Jack "I'm actually going to have a nice time and be happy for Grace you know, my former best friend?"

"So, what do you guys make of this rich girl moving in" Kieran asks sitting himself in between Jack and I. I take the opportunity to lay down and spread my feet over both of their legs

Kieran glares at me

"You know the rules" I say with a shrug. He nods but looks irritated.

"Well, she does seem destined to be either my wife or future sister-in-law" I say "So, I am going to make an effort to be polite to her"

"That'll take some doing" smirks Aiden

"Hey, watch your shitty soap opera" I bark at my little brother

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to meeting her" Jack says with a smile "It'll be nice to have more people my own age to knock about with, not that Elijah and Charlie aren't enough..."

That's Jack for you ladies and gents. Even when he hasn't offended anyone in anyone way he will still apologize.

"Do you think she's fit?" asks Kieran

"We shouldn't judge her based on her physical appearance Kieran" Jack tells him sternly, a surprise to all of us "We should judge who she is as a person"

"Many psychologists say that we often prejudge people based on their appearance" Marcus pipes up, he's been sitting by the fire reading a Geography A2 text book "It's said that if we don't like someone's appearance then that influences how we see them as a person afterwards."

OK, I'm not even sure if that's true or not but if it is then what a shallow, nasty little world we live in.

"I can't wait for Saturday" Kieran says ignoring Marcus, who rolls his eyes and returns to his book "It's gonna be great, so many fit girls from school are gonna be there and I look fucking amazing in a suit. I'm gonna be snogging all night."

Yes, Kieran is that shallow. But I'm no better, I admit that I've been looking forward to the chance to get up close and personal with a bridesmaid since I'd remembered the wedding was happening. It's not like I go around having sex with every girl I see, it's actually been over three months since I'd last done it. New Year's Eve. Ah, what a night that was.

"So, are you guys invited to the ceremony or just the reception" asks Charlie, _EastEnders _has just ended on some girl kissing this ginger bloke in a hotel room. He was dressed only in a towel, and she was way out of his league not to mention about half his age. Charlie comes and sits down next to me, which is convenient because now I get a lap to rest my head on. Using people as furniture is fun. "We have to go to both, I'm dreading it"

"Mum, Dad and Jack are invited to the ceremony" I say with a yawn, smirking to myself as Aiden takes a phone call from Dannii - the girl he's trying to impress - and immediately begins telling her how amazing he found the episode. "I don't think Grace would want the rest of us there, everytime we go to a wedding we have to physically sit Aiden down at the 'if anyone has a reason' parts. Jack ended up sitting _on _him at our aunt's wedding last year"

"Damn it" groans Charlie

"So much snogging" Kieran says to himself, it's not hard to see where he's been in his mind for the past few minutes

I smirk. My family amuse me.

* * *

I spend the next few days essentially trying to avoid Mum at all costs, working and teaching Kieran how to properly tie a tie. He gets to the loop bit and then just completely forgets what he's doing; we're currently in his bedroom and he's half-undressed getting more and more frustrated with himself. It's the day before the wedding now and Mum has marched me up there to teach him because she wants us at our presentable best tomorrow.

"I'm _so _dumb" he exclaims throwing the tie on the ground

I pick it up and hand it back to him. Despite the fact that I do agree with him, I can't help but feel sorry for the kid, he gets really worked up about things like this. I put my arm on his shoulder and turn him around to face the mirror he spends half of his life looking into, I want to help him even if it is for selfish reasons because damn it I'm sick of having to do his school tie for him every damn morning

"Nah, come on, you'll get it" I say trying to sound as nice as I possibly can. He shoots me a small smile so I can tell it's had at least some effect and to mine, and his surprise, on the next attempts he ties a perfect knotted tie and damn it, I've never seen a kid look more proud of himself in his life. And I was there when Charlie managed to cross one river bank to another on his bike when we were ten.

"So" I say sitting down on Kieran's bed as he ties the tie over and over again, clearly elated he's finally managed it "Are you looking forward to this wedding on Saturday? I'm not"

"It should be alright" he says as he comes and sits himself down next to me, I put my arm around his shoulder "At least you'll have more fun than I will, I mean, you get to drink through the experience"

"So can you" I say "Charlie and I didn't get you that fake ID for your birthday for nothing you know"

"Yeah, but we'll be at the club" he says "And everybody there knows that I'm only 16, I'm gonna have to do this thing sober"

Yikes.

That is a scary thought

I cannot, nay will not, subject my two littlest brothers to that. It seems especially unfair that Marcus is old enough to buy himself a drink but won't because it kills brain cells. I worry about that kid, he's gonna become a crazy cat man when he's older, I can just tell.

Aiden and Kieran might be two massive pains in my arse, but damn it, I'm gonna be a top big brother and illegally buy them alcohol

"Really? You'd do that" Kieran says, his eyebrows raised. Granted, it's the first time in his life I've done something nice for him (that has no personal benefit for me) but come on kid, I'm not a bad guy. I'm always willing to help people out, and I'm certainly always willing to help them drink.

"Yeah sure" I say confidently "Fuck da police"

Oooh, awkward

I should not have said that

"Never say that again" says Kieran looking both confused and disappointed at the same time, a look Mum often gives me.

"Yeah, I'd appreciate if no one found out about that" I say with a smile. We both end up laughing and affection for Kieran seems to build up inside me, he's actually a pretty cool kid and now I want to take him out for a Burger King. We never spend any time together.

Telling Mum that I was taking him to buy a new tie, a flimsy excuse but she seemed to buy it, I lead Kieran to the car and began driving towards town and passed Netherfield mansion. No sign of Charlotte or her posse.

"You do realize Mum will kill us if we're not hungry at tea" Kieran tells me.

"Mate, you know what tea is tonight?" I ask him. He shakes his head. "Sausage Casserole"

We both shudder at the mere words.

To her credit, my Mum's a very decent cook and most of her meals range from decent to downright amazing but there's just something about her Sausage Casserole that is absolutely disgusting; which is weird as Sausage's are actually amongst my top ten favourite foods, though that does change daily. Besides, Mum and I weren't exactly on best bud terms after Wednesday's book club meeting which ended in Mum storming home and hitting me several times around the head with her copy of _Fifty Shades of Grey._

"Filthy, Filthy, Filthy" she had said with every whack. The whack's certainly hurt, but I was too busy laughing to feel pain "The kind of things this book talks about...I well, I... I just... why Elijah?...why?...Is this the kind of thing you're into?... is Charlie into things like this?... Oh my lord, MRS. CUNNINGHAM IS NEVER GOING TO LOOK AT ME THE SAME WAY AGAIN...I will never forgive this Elijah, NEVER"

We'd spoken since, Jack forced me to apologize, which I had always been planning on doing anyway. Maybe. Mum had accepted it, and we'd even shared a funny little moment the next day when I caught her peaking into it and having a quick read when she thought nobody was watching but it was evident she was still angry about it and I knew in some way I would have to make it up to her.

"That prank you played on Mum was pretty funny though" Kieran tells me about an hour later as we get back into the car ready to go home. We'd had a pretty good time, and I'd resolved to spend more time with my little brothers individually. If only to give them my wisdom and guidance. "Her face when she came in, I don't think I'll ever forget it. She looked like a plumb"

I laugh.

"Hey, so err, how's school and that going?" I say asking him. Kieran looks at the ground, schoolwork is his least favourite subject "I know we've all been more focused on Marcus, but you've got GCSE's starting soon as well...how's that going?"

Kieran shrugs, "I'm not gonna do well anyway so what's the point?" is his answer and it breaks my heart a little. I can't help but think all those times I, and pretty much everyone else, have called him thick has lead to this.

"Hey, you're gonna do fine" I say grasping his shoulder once again. He looks at me and smiles. "And you know why you're gonna do fine? Because I'm gonna help you, and I'm like a genius, so you're gonna be the best in the class"

"Yeah right" he says rolling his eyes "I don't even know if I wanna go to sixth form, I know Dad won't let me leave school... but the idea of spending two more years there is really scary. I find the work so hard now, and all the teachers say that the jump is massive"

He's right. The jump is massive and anyone can see Kieran's not the kind of kid who's cut out for the whole academia thing

"I'll talk to Dad for you" I decide "See if I can't get him to see things from your point of view"

"Really"

"Really"

"Why?"

"Because you're my little brother and I love you ya little shit." I say ruffling his hair. He gasps, Kieran hates other people touching his hair, and immediately puts it back into place before looking at me

"Thank you Elijah" he says "It's been really cool hanging out with you today"

"Does this means I'm your favourite brother now?" I ask we pull up to the house

Kieran smirks and lets himself out of the car, he goes through the gate before suddenly turning around and hugging me.

This is odd

I've never hugged Kieran before.

I hug him back

"Seriously thanks" he says with a smile

I smile back and cast my arm around his shoulder. I am a fucking awesome older brother.

Now, I've got to go prepare for this wedding and think up a good excuse as to why Kieran and I aren't that hungry

Kill. Me. Now.

(If Mum doesn't before)

* * *

**Author's Note: **A continued thank you to all of you who have been reading and supporting this story so far. A few things on this chapter - a 'behind the scenes' if you'd like; I've always felt bad for both Kitty and Mary Bennett as they're by far the two most ignored Bennett's and I wanted to give them both a more 3D portrayal in my story so that's why there's so much Kieran in this chapter, and he's turning into a great little character who I'm enjoying writing.

Marcus will be getting some focus soon, and we're very close to formally meeting Charlotte Bingley and our Darcy now. Next chapter in fact. Hope you enjoyed and continue to enjoy


	4. The Wedding: Part I

Some People

Chapter Four

Saturday has come around far too quickly for my liking. Currently, I'm standing in my kitchen, a cup of tea in hand, looking out of the window and thinking to myself about how different things could be the next time I'm in this kitchen. It will be after the wedding, I'll be drunk and having to somehow look after my two younger brothers who will be much more drunk than I because they're lightweights. Mum will have embarrassed us all in a multitude of ways, of course being obliviously unaware of having done so, and we will have met the ever elusive Charlotte Bingley who has become her biggest obsession. I didn't think anyone would ever overtake Michael Buble but Charlotte seems to have done it and with the notable achievement of never having actually met my mother, I can't help but find it a little funny that this poor girl is currently sitting getting ready for a wedding completely unaware of the horror and awkwardness that will be thrust upon her at the reception.

Mum's currently in a flap because she can't find her best hat, and Aiden is looking concerned because he may or may not have accidentally set in on fire a few weeks ago. Why is it only occurring to me now that I've had awesome blackmail material on my little brother for weeks and have not bothered to use it?

"Eugh, this day is going to be a complete disaster" she wails as walks into the kitchen, the high pitched tone of her voice almost making me drop my tea.

"Yeah, cos it's all about you" I mutter to myself as she begins checking the cupboards for her best hat. Cos I'm really sure that you got it mixed up with a pan love.

"Oh Elijah, will you get dressed" she says she gives up looking "Honestly, this is not the time to be walking around the house with no trousers on!"

I'm paying Marcus to iron them for me, what more does she want? Dad walks into the kitchen, looking both stressed and hopeful, he presents Mum with a hat.

"What's this" she asks

"A hat", he says

"But it's purple" she says angrily snatching it out of his hands "PURPLE! I wanted my pink hat Michael. Pink Hat. Pink Hat. Pink Hat."

She takes the hate with her as she storms out of the room, Aiden follows her when Dad gives him a knowing look. None of us are really sure how Dad automatically knows when anyone of us are hiding something, I used to think he was a genie when I was a kid, but goddamn it he always knew.

"You're definitely alright to drive the boys up with you this afternoon" he asks me as I switch the kettle on to make him a cup of tea, because I am capable of being a loving son when I'm not being metaphorically forced down the aisle "It won't cramp your style with the bridesmaids if you turn up with your little brothers"

"I'm actually kind of hoping that they'll see me as some kind of caring, sexy, man of the world who isn't afraid to spend time with his family" I say "At least, that's how I see myself so I don't see why they shouldn't"

Dad grins

"I shan't be staying at the reception long" he says looking out the window "I don't really like weddings, and your Mother will have no use for me once she's with all her friends... or are they her enemies she just likes to keep close? You know, I've never been able to tell"

"But, who's going to control Mum. She'll be at a wedding, which will remind her none of us are engaged, and she'll be drunk" I exclaim "Dad, that's a recipe for disaster!"

"Yes, isn't it" says Dad mischievously as he turns a page in his newspaper. I smirk and finish making him his tea before heading upstairs to finish getting ready; Marcus had ever so kindly left my ironing on my bed for me (I chose to ignore the 'I'm not your slave you lazy very bad c word' sticky note that was attached to the top of them) and Jack was already suited and booted for the day ahead. Looking annoyingly handsome as usual, if he doesn't pull tonight at least then the world really is going slightly mad. I want to pull. Hell, I need to pull. It's been that long since I've done it I can actually feel my virginity starting to grow back.

"You are gonna be on your best behaviour today aren't you Elijah?" he asks me "I mean, this isn't some Rugby club formal, it's a person's wedding...the happiest day of your life"

"Jeez Jack, what do you think I'm gonna do?" I ask with a laugh "Dash into the church, proclaim my undying love for Grace Fairclough, whisk her away and we'll ride off into the sunset on a motorbike. Highly unlikely, I don't have a motorbike for a start..."

I really should have one though.

"No" Jack says rolling his eyes "I don't know...I'm worried you'll say something along the lines of 'congratulations horse face' or something like that"

I am offended.

As if I'd be that unoriginal with my insults.

I manage to assure Jack that I've got no nasty wedding ruining plans up my sleeves. No feeding the doves laxatives, no changing the music playlist to all screamo songs (though, I think our Aunt Geraldine grew to like it), no stink bombs. Not that I _had _been planning any of that anyway, but now I kind of feel like I want to, however I promise Jack that the wedding will go smoothly and if it doesn't then it will be absolutely nothing to do with me. Then again, there is that free bar to look forward too.

"BOYS DOWNSTAIRS I WANT A PICTURE" calls Mum

Christ.

I hate family pictures.

I mean, I'm photogenic as fuck, but posing for them is so annoying. Mum always touches our hair, which freaks Kieran out and has done since he was about six, or rubs her spit on our face in a bizarre attempt to clean it that I've never understood. Why do people do that? That's a good name for my book now I think about it, it can be basically about everything I find weird and stupid about the world; though with that premise it might rival _War & Peace _for length.

Chapter One: Weddings

Seriously, despite my mother's weird fixation on them I've never been that keen on the idea of marriage anyway. It just seems to complicate things. 'Oh I love you, and to make sure you never leave let's get the courts and/or God involved'. No. If I want to leave a dead end relationship, I don't want to spend six months in court discussing who gets to keep her grandmother's authentic Chinese tea set

I don't really know how my imagination has come to the conclusion that I'll end up with a girl like that, but I digress-

"Oh aren't you all handsome" Mum says proudly as we all stand infront of her and Dad with our arms around each other. I'm in-between Jack and Kieran, who has become increasingly friendly to me ever since our little Burger escape yesterday and now seems to be taking any opportunity he can to be close to me. Not that I mind, I like being closer to him - of my three younger brothers, he's certainly the most tolerable - and he's so simple minded that I can easily manipulate him into being my own little minion. "Michael? Aren't they handsome" she barks at Dad who hadn't been paying attention

"Yes, we have five very strapping young sons" he says with a gleam in his eye, clearly he actually means this and yes, I suppose us Bennett lads are a decent looking bunch. Even with Aiden's braces and Marcus's never ending forehead pimples. I was always very lucky in those departments, the only thing I don't really like about myself or the gifts puberty bestowed upon me is my complete lack of ability to grow any facial hair. I tried going for a beard when I was 17, didn't work, and no shave November last year was just embarrassing when all that changed between the 31st October and 1st December was the fact I got a little bum fluff on the bottom of my chin. Jack's quite hairy, on his chest at least, and so is Marcus. Aiden's a bit too young to be developing like that and I'm also sure Kieran shaves any hair he acquires. Bastard. I'll take it, even if his hair is blonde and mine's brown.

We take several pictures. One of all us together. One of us all with one another. One of us all with Dad. One of us all individually with Dad. One of us all with Mum. One of all us all individually with Mum, and then we tried for a picture of us all together which was amusing as Mum was never quite able to get into her pose on time before the camera clicked and took the photo. The whole thing took about forty-five minutes and made Mum, Dad and Jack behind schedule for getting to the church on time and watching Horse Face marry her fiancé who in all honesty looked as if his parents were possibly brother and sister

"See you at the reception lads" Jack says as he leaves the Kitchen

"Be good, and Elijah, do drive with care dear - I don't want a repeat of what happened at David Haggerty's confirmation" says Mum

Oh for fuck sake not this again

The Nun was _fine_.

I barely clipped her and she got right back up. Yet 18 months on and it's all anyone can mention whenever I go near a car.

It's not like I make a habit of hitting Nun's with my car.

Whoopi Goldberg has no reason to fear me is all I'm saying

Mum kisses me on the cheek, before patting Marcus on the head and reluctantly picking up the purple hat that Dad has picked out for her and placing it on her head. She was muttering angrily to herself as she linked arms with Jack and left the house.

Dad turned around and smiled at us

"I just love weddings, don't you?"

So, despite the fact that this time two years ago I wouldn't have been able to imagine a worse fate than having to spend a whole morning with nothing but my younger brothers for company, I actually ended up having quite a nice time with Aiden and Kieran at least. Marcus took himself off upstairs to 'revise' for a few hours; I paraphrase revise because a few days ago Jack and I had needed to borrow Marcus's laptop whilst he was at school and when we opened it up popped a porn website. Although this ended my growing theory that Marcus is in fact asexual, it did amuse me as I couldn't help thinking that that's what he was doing instead or revising for hours on end like he claimed. Anyway, Kieran, Aiden and I had a laugh in the kitchen just talking shit about anything we could think of - it was mainly girls mind you, but it was just nice to talk about that subject without the topic of marriage creeping in.

"Jessica Dawson and Ellie Keaton are coming to the wedding" Kieran says sounding pleased having just checked his Twitter account. From what I had gathered this morning; Ellie and Jessica are the two fittest girls in Kieran's year both of whom - he claims - fancy the pants off him and both of whom - he assumes - would be perfectly up for a threesome. I smack Kieran around the head at this, for a good few years Jack and I had been trying to teach our younger brothers - specifically Kieran - that women are not sexual objects placed on the Earth for his personal enjoyment. It came after Jack's friend Mandy forced us to watch this YouTube video that examined how prevalent sexism against women still is in society, and from then on we vowed to change our sexist ways (I in particular was very bad) and also lead our brothers down the right path.

"Hey, I was only kidding" Kieran says in retaliation to his smack around the head "I'll just flirt and see where the night goes"

Better

Slightly

"What about you Elijah?" Aiden asks me "It's been ages since you've had an overnight guest as Mum likes to call them, it's actually kinda pathetic...I think Marcus has gotten more action than you this year"

We all look at each other in silence for a few seconds before descending into laughter. I shut the kitchen door so Marcus won't hear us. Because, whilst I'll make fun of my brother for being the only one of us who's still a virgin - I don't want him to hear it. It could hurt his feelings.

"Is he? You know?" I ask my two youngest brothers, if anyone knows it's them. They see Marcus in his natural habitat everyday. School. Now, I was there at the same time Marcus was as well but I was way too popular to approach him, and I was genuinely concerned about those things back then.

"I think so" says Kieran "I mean, I've never seen him with a girl or anything...I can't imagine him flirting though can you? What would he even talk about?"

"Dinosaur bones or he'd probably try and impress her by telling her how much he knows about her menstrual cycle" says Aiden. I can't help but laugh, the kid maybe an evil little shit stain at times but damn it he can be funny. Kieran just asks what a 'menstrual cycle' is, honestly that boy doesn't help himself sometimes

"You're quite a good flirt though" Aiden continues nodding at me "Maybe you could spend today training Marcus up, you know, teach him the ways"

"You make it sound like I'm a Jedi or something" I say with a smirk

All though actually, that would be pretty damn cool

I love Star Wars

Well, the Luke and Leia stuff

Prequels suck.

That said, young Natalie Portman had a big affect on young Elijah Bennet.

My phone buzzes and I see that I have received a video message from Charlie of the wedding, it involved Grace looking like a horse, a radiant horse, and my mother crying hysterically into her handkerchief saying "Oh, I've known that girl all her life". I inwardly cringe, it seems as if Mother has already started on the hysterics though her claims to be crying because she's known Grace for so long aren't working on me; she is crying for any one of three reasons or perhaps all three of them

1) She's upset that both Fairclough children are now married, both at the age of 22 as well I might add, which is the age Jack is

2) She was always aware of Grace's huge crush on Jack when they were at school together and dedicated a good 5 years to attempting to set them up together, a lot of the time her schemes were thwarted by yours truly

3) She just cries at weddings because they remind her of a day that she will never have ever again. And that she's 50.

So, all in all, an embarrassing start to the day for my family but luckily this cannot in anyway be blamed on me - though, that said, I'm sure it will be someway somehow. It did occur to me that Mum, Jack and Dad are all currently in the same room as Charlotte Bingley and her posse (I really need to stop referring to them as that, it's making me think of Charlotte just being followed around by D12 or something) and Mum's overly hysterical crying has probably scared them all off approaching her. That works for me. Though, then again, if they've seen Jack then Charlotte will probably want to at least introduce herself - I've never known a girl see Jack and have absolutely no reaction to him whatsoever, they always want to go over and say hello even if some of them can't quite articulate those words infront of him. Jack's a very easy person to fall in love with I reckon.

Charlie calls me

"What up?" I ask "How'd it go? No shocking revelations?"

"Only that Grace Fairclough is capable of human emotion and has a capacity to love someone other than your eldest brother" Charlie says "Oh, and also, Brianna is here"

_Fuck._

* * *

You know how I mentioned that I never liked Grace all that much, and that she had a massive crush on Jack. Well times that by ten and you've got my relationship with Brianna Fairclough. She is Grace and Bradley's cousin and was in mine and Charlie's year at school, and let's just say she wasn't one to keep her very lustful feelings for me a secret. Even Mum thought she came on too strong sometimes. In fact, at end of Year 11 prom she cornered me by the caretaker's cupboard, pulled me in and began snogging my face off. I, of course, snogged back because I was 16, horny, and slightly tipsy as Charlie had snuck some Vodka in and though it was a pretty damn good snog I never had any desire to follow it up. Brianna was a pain the arse. A spoiled, annoyingly fit, pain in the arse who couldn't take a hint and followed me around for most of the summer and hung off my every word for all of years 12 and 13.

The last time I saw her was the end of Year 13 ball, held at the Rugby Club, where I was once again drunk and ended up doing a bit more than snogging her in the backseat of Jason Barnes's BMW. What 18-year old has a BMW anyway? I ask you. We didn't shag, I'm not that stupid, but we did enough and a few weeks later Brianna went to live in Spain for a few years learning how to teach English as a foreign language.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" I exclaim "Charlie, when I get there you have to keep her away from me. Is she still physco?"

"Looks to be, she's definitely still got that mad stare" Charlie whispers, why do I get the impression he's at the back of the church and the wedding is still going on? That said, Brianna Fairclough turning up is certainly classified as an emergency "She's already seen Jack and I, so she knows your coming later"

"FUCK" I shout. From the gasps on the other end of the phone I gather it was loud enough for a few people on the back pew's to hear "Charlie, I don't have the stomach or the patience to deal with Brianna Fairclough today"

"I know, and you know what's worse?" he says

"What"

"This means you probably shouldn't drink"

_Shit_

He's right

I'm a lot more responsive to Brianna's charms (if they can be called that) when I'm three sheets to the wind

I hang up on Charlie and feel like throwing my phone away I'm that annoyed. Kieran and Aiden both look at me with confusion

"Brianna Fairclough is there" I tell them before leaving the room. I hear Kieran mutter 'shit man' as I do. I head up to my bedroom and look in the mirror. I look gorgeous. Well, _shit_. She's going to be all over me.

Marcus walks into the room

"Hey, I'm not feeling too well" he says, putting on the worst fake cough I've ever heard in my life. I'm amazed he even thought that would work one. I TAUGHT HIM THAT. Clearly not very well, but I taught him it all the same.

"Oh no, no, no" I say turning back around to face him "Marcus, I don't care if you've somehow contracted swine flu you are coming to this wedding. Mum's already embarrassed the family by hysterically crying all though the ceremony, Dad's probably insulted about fifty people, Jack's being fawned over by every cheerleader going, I'm pretty sure Charlie's been on his phone throughout the entire ceremony, seeing Grace Fairclough all happy and in love is going to sicken me, Mum wants us to meet this Charlotte Bingley and you know what else Marcus? You know what else? Brianna fucking Fairclough is there. OK, Brianna Fairclough. So, you're coming. I will not go through this hell on my own, and I need you there if only to act as a human shield!"

It felt nice to get that off my chest

"I'll, err, put my shoes on then" Marcus says slowly backing out of the room looking as if he's scared I might kill him

I'm not gonna kill anyone

Although, if I was it would probably be him

I can't justify violence against Brianna and Marcus is weaker than a nun's pelvis after I hit her with my car

Jack and Charlie are waiting for us outside the Rugby club dinner hall as I drive up with Kieran, Aiden and Marcus in the car. It's been a stressful journey considering it's only a ten minute drive from our house to the club; Kieran and Aiden nearly got into a fist fight over who called shot gun first - I let Kieran sit in the front because I like him more. Like him more, not love him more. I love all my brothers the same. Except Jack. I may love him a tiny bit more. Then, it turned out Marcus really wasn't feeling well and we had to pull into an empty car park so he could throw up, to his credit he then insisted he was fine, so I bought him so breath mints and we piled back into the car. Aiden and Kieran nearly getting in another fight because I promised Aiden he could be shot gun on our next car journey together, though Kieran contested that it was still the same car journey and a five minute break didn't count. I agreed because I like Kieran, though now I'm sure Aiden is planning to kill me.

I'd welcome it to be quite honest

So yeah, I'm in serious need of a big drink right now.

"We're all at a table together luckily" Charlie tells me as we all walk into the Rugby Club's dining hall, which looked very swanky even if I was loathed to give Grace Fairclough's wedding any kind of compliment. Jack, Aiden, Kieran and Marcus proceed ahead but I grab Charlie by the arm and take him to a secluded corner

"Brianna update" I ask

"She's still hung up on you" Charlie says "She was speaking to your Dad and asking about you outside of the church whilst we were all waiting, she was nice to me though and congratulated me on coming out."

"Well, that's nice" I say

"Yeah" says Charlie with a smile "Oh, and she's on our table."

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

I groan. Charlie puts a sympathetic arm on my shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry mate" he says with a laugh "And the worst thing is this is the most gorgeous I've ever seen you look, she's gonna be all over you"

Charlie leaves me in my corner to gather my thoughts, courage and guts before making my way over to our table.

"Oh Elijah, there you are" I turn around fearing it's Brianna, but too my relief it is merely my mother - betcha never thought I'd say that! - who rushes over to me and pulls me over to where she, Dad and my brothers are standing with a few people I've never seen before

"This is my second eldest Elijah" Mum presents me proudly to the people. I feel like they're going to start bidding on me "Elijah, this is Charlotte Bingley"

Ah, so it was her I met. Very pretty. She shakes my hand

"Nice to meet you" she says

"You as well" I say

"Oh, and these are my brothers Carl and Alex" Charlotte says pointing to the two men behind her, both of whom shake my hand "That's Alex's girlfriend Victoria"

Victoria literally looks like she doesn't own a brain. She shakes my hand and then tells Alex she's going to get more cheese sticks. I like her. I notice for the first time that Jack doesn't seem able to keep his eyes off of Charlotte and vice versa

Crap.

"Oh, and err...Darcy? Where did Darcy go?" Charlotte asks looking around, she turns around and smiles at me and my family "Darcy's my best friend, but she seems to have disappeared silly thing... oh, there you are"

A tall, black haired, attractive young women came into my view; though she looked as if she'd rather be anywhere else other than here. From the looks of my family they had already been acquainted with her. Even Mum was struggling to maintain her false smile as Darcy looked at us all with some kind of scorn.

"Darcy Williams meet Elijah Bennet" says Charlotte with a smile on her face, at least she seems oblivious to the awkwardness at hand

"Charmed" says Darcy before walking off again. The only acknowledgement she gives me is a quick glance up and down, a sneer and then she walks off and Carl Bingley follows her.

_Well_

Rude.

Still, at least Jack and Charlotte have seemingly hit it off. Damn my mother. We take our seats as the wedding speeches begin

I immediately regret coming when the first words I here are;

"ELIJAH! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH"

Brianna Fairclough grips me in a massive hug, and I want to die.

I hate weddings

Maybe it will be up from here?

* * *

**Author's Note: **The wedding continues on in the next chapter, Elijah gets drunk, and Darcy Williams turns out to be rather rude.

Also, I hope nobody minds that I add a few character here and there. Brianna just came to me one night and I had to write her; she'll be popping in and out as the story goes on.


	5. The Wedding: Part II

Chapter Five

OK, so currently I am sitting at my allotted table - which, despite my desire to get away from Mum actually happens to be the next one along from where she and Dad are seated - with Brianna Fairclough talking more at me than she is too me and it's not helping that she has her hand on my arm every so often is squeezing it and complimenting me on the fact my biceps are a lot bigger than they were two years ago. I mean, they are but she should really stop because I'm two glasses of champagne down and I can already feel my resolve to not flirt with her is weakening; because damn it, she's a lot fitter than she was two years ago as well and she's talking to me and flattering me about my favourite subject; _Me_. I keep looking around for support; the speeches have just ended - they were, reasonable - even if I could hear Mum's cries throughout - but all my family and friends seem to be otherwise engaged. Kieran had already disappeared with Ellie Keaton somewhere, Aiden is pigging out on food at the buffet, Marcus is _reading _despite the fact I've seen at least two girls look at him, Dad's gone home with a 'headache' and Mum's being, well, Mum. I can't even rely on my two best friends Jack and Charlie; Charlie is chatting up one of Grace's husbands groomsmen (who at least seems to be reciprocating, so Yay) and Jack is currently totally engrossed in conversation with Charlotte Bingley who is laughing at his jokes, looking into his eyes and touching his arm constantly

Brianna is doing all of that to me, I just don't want her too.

"So, Eli, who have the past two years been treating you" she asks as her hand moves up and down my arm "I mean clearly, you've spent a lot of time at the gym but what else have you been up to?"

"Oh you know" I squeak, her hand is on my knee now and heading north "Uni and stuff like that; I'm studying English Literature"

"You were always very good at that from what I remember" she says with a smile, if she wasn't straight up sexually harassing me right now I may be reciprocating more, but northwards her hand continues "You were like the only boy who ever offered insight or ideas, it made a lot of us girls swoon"

Why else do you think I took the class?

"What can I say? I just love reading" I say with a shrug. Take your hand off my leg woman! When she gets to just below the essentials I leap up from the table, announce I need some fresh air, and drag Charlie away by his arm - he yells to the groomsmen that he'll see him later to which the groomsmen smiles and winks; at me.

"I cannot believe the guy I've been flirting with finds you more attractive" Charlie says as I practically pull him down onto a chair at a random, empty table that would be totally empty if not for Kieran and Ellie Keaton snogging the faces off one another "Why does that always happen?"

"Brianna is doing my fucking head in" I tell him, ignoring his ponderings. Though they are justified, that does always seem to happen "Charlie, mate, I know that you're really close to pulling but please can you come and help me? She just nearly put her hand on my you-know-where"

"Elijah, you are 20" says Charlie with a laugh "If you can't see penis and testicles by now without laughing then we have a real problem"

Oh fuck him

I can totally do that.

Penis.

Testicles.

Yeah, I can't do it

"That is not the issue here, the issue here is Brianna won't leave me alone" I say looking over Charlie's shoulder to where Brianna was going through the crowd's looking for me with that unhinged look written across her face "It's like being back at school, remember that time she followed me into the changing rooms?"

Charlie laughs at the memory, which is funny for everyone but me it would seem, but nevertheless takes my hand and leads me outside for a while. We catch a view of Jack and Charlotte Bingley still talking to one another as if they were the only people in the world and I can't help but feel a little annoyed that they seem to have hit it off so damn well, this is only going to further Mum's obsession with marrying us off before we're ready. But still, if it's making Jack happy and helping him get over that bitch of an ex-girlfriend who smashed his heart into a thousand tiny pieces three years ago then I'm all for it

God, I could still kill her.

"So, we should probably get back in eventually" says Charlie after a while "Knowing Brianna, she'll have given up and gone to flirt with some groomsmen by now. She better not flirt with _my_ groomsmen or I'm gonna end the bitch"

I smirk and follow Charlie back inside, on our way up I look down at the floor just on the off-chance that Brianna will see me, which goes well until I bump into someone, spill their drink and knock them to the floor

"Oh my god, I am so, so, so sorry" I exclaim as I reach down to help them and come into the scolding scare of an unimpressed Darcy Williams, Charlotte's best friend. She looks very angry. "I'll buy me-I mean, you - I'll buy you a new one"

"It's a free bar" she says coldly "And no thank you, I wouldn't accept a drink from the likes of you"

Then she walks off, and stands by herself in a corner looking grumpy

Da fuck?

_The likes of me_

What the hell is this girls problem, I ask you?

Charlie grins and leads me by the hand back to our table where Brianna is having a conversation with two bridesmaids; Anna Kershaw and Lucy Dunn both of whom were in Jack's year at school and Grace's best friends. Lucy was another one who always had a bit of a crush on Jack, she was nice enough I suppose and there were a good few years where I thought she was fit. Still was by the look of her now.

"Little Elijah Bennet" she says with a smile as she gets up, hugs me and gives me a peck on the cheek. I blush. Damn it. I'm not 14 anymore, why the fuck am I blushing, still at least Brianna looks furious "My, my, haven't you grown? What has it been like four years? Damn. You look good"

Why am I being so fawned over today?

"And...Charlie, am I right?" Lucy goes on Charlie nods before adding "It's OK, I'm out now". Yeah, it was foregone conclusion from around the age of 13 that most of us knew or guessed that Charlie was gay but Lucy and Anna had both left school before he came out.

"Oh that's wonderful Charlie" Lucy says happily giving him a kiss on the cheek "I'm so pleased for you, did your parents take it alright?"

"As well as expected" Charlie said with a shrug

"So, Anna, how're you" I quickly interject, aware that we've arrived on Charlie's least favourite topic of conversation. Charlie mouths me a discreet 'thank you' and I wink at him, he looks away from me with a smile on his face as Anna gets up and repeats what Lucy did; looks me up and down, comments how I've grown, hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek

Ha! Not just Jack Bennet's cute little brother anymore am I?

"Oh fine, fine, can't complain" she says with a laugh. We all talk for a few minutes before a drunken Grace Fairclough takes to the microphone and announces that the dances are about to begin; I sit back and relax, watching horse face try to amble her way around the dance floor now after the number of vodka tonics I've seen her down since we arrived here will be very amusing and soon enough she takes to the dance floor with her new inbred looking husband and they dance their first dance

To Bette Middler's _Wind Beneath My Wings_ no less. Christ, what a terrible song. If I ever have a wedding my first dance is going to be to _Livin' On a Prayer _or _Cotton Eye Joe _or anything, anything other than this snooze fest. I seem to be one of the only people in the room to share this view as many, none moreso than my mum, are swaying their heads to the music and watching with tears glistening in their eyes. My table is now full again with all my brothers having returned as well as the two Fairclough cousin's; Brianna's little sister Emmie and Polly. I don't know them very well, mainly due to my determination to have as little to do with their entire family as possible, but they at least seem more mature and sane at ages 11 and 13 than Brianna ever has done. Kieran's snog buddy Ellie Keaton now also seems to be sitting with us, on Kieran's knee, still snogging him and it's clear to me that Kieran has not been sensible with the booze I bought he and Aiden before we arrived. Aiden looks green and keeps hiccoughing and Kieran and Ellie just look pissed in a very obvious manner. Polly looks disgruntled.

"I love this song don't you Eli" Brianna whispers in my ear as she draped her arms around my chest and rests her head on my shoulder. I roll my eyes, and just give into it because at least now she's not talking to me - just moving her hands freely around my chest, man if she were a guy and I was a girl she would have been arrested long before now. Thankfully, the song ends not long after and all the women do that stupid thing women do where they all gather behind the bride so she can throw her bouquet and whomever catches it will get married next. I try to explain to Mum as she passes that she's already married and therefore does not need to partake in such action, however it falls on deaf ears and Mum pushes her way past all the nubile bridesmaids to the front of the crowd.

Charlotte Bingley and Darcy Williams are also amongst the crowd, Darcy scowling and looking like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. Trust me love, if that could be arranged I'd be more than willing to help.

"OK, whoever catches this, has to dance with a guy who I will choose for you" Grace drunkenly slurs "Because then maybe, you guys will fall in love and then you can totally invite me to your kick-arse wedding"

Grace is honestly like watching what it would be like if Kate Winslet and Courtney Love ever merged into one body right now. It's highly amusing. Beyonce's _Single Ladies _is now playing too, which adds to the hilarity and ridiculousness of this entire situation - I turn around and look at my brothers all of whom seem to be in agreement with me except for Jack who looks as if he's hoping Charlotte will catch the tatty bunch of flowers.

He has that 'in love' face he gets sometimes

Fuck.

I cringe slightly as I see Brianna approach her older sister, whisper something in her here, look at me and then disappear back into the heard of women. Grace nods and gives her a thumbs up and it's clear that Brianna has just arranged to dance with me if she is the one to catch the bouquet, though I do wonder if Grace will even be able to throw the damn thing with the rate at which she is swaying.

"Just fucking get on with" says Marcus to himself, and for once I am in complete agreement with him, this really is taking too long.

"OK" announces Grace turning her back to the girls "1...2...3" she catches the bouquet and for a moment the world seems like it's going in slow motion as my eyes follow the bunch of flowers into the hands of Darcy Williams.

Ha!

I don't envy the poor bastard who has to dance with her

On the table opposite us I can see Carl Bingley look up with anticipation. Pathetic.

Darcy looks angry.

Charlotte looks dissapointed

Brianna looks like she could stab someone. And probably will. I'd advise running, but I'm too busy looking at the car crash infront of me.

Darcy tries to give the flowers to Charlotte.

She rejects and leads Darcy to Grace at the front of the crowd.

"OK, OK, this girl caught the flowers" Grace announces with a drunken laugh and a hiccough "Now, let me find you someone to d-dance with"

She scans the room and seems to settle her eyes on someone at our table. Jack? Marcus? Kieran? Any of them, just not me, please God

Why am I praying to God? That guy has been no help to me. Ever.

OK, so maybe Jenny Rowland and I shouldn't have canoodled in the school's prayer house at Year 13 prom (Yeah, I was very busy that night - this was about half an hour before my car jaunt with Brianna) but still, give me a break guy! C'mon!

"ELIJAH BENNET" Grace announces

I hear Brianna and Darcy groan in unison

Jack turns to me with a smirk on his face, as do Charlie, Aiden and Marcus however Kieran remains oblivious and continues to snog the face off Ellie Keaton.

"ELIJAH, GET UP HERE" shouts Grace once again and Charlie pushes me out of my chair and towards Darcy, Grace and Brianna. The women disperse and Brianna gives me a look like all of this is my fault as she passes me

"Have fun you two" Grace says with glee as she bounces past us and goes to sit back down at her table. Now, it's just Darcy and I in the middle of the Dancefloor standing and looking at each other with dislike and for a minute, it doesn't seem like there is a whole room of people looking at us

This is bad

Really bad.

OK, maybe it won't be so bad.

As long as it's not a romantic song, I can salvage this.

Maybe it'll be The Macarena?

Cha-Cha Slide?

Soulja Boy?

Gangnam Style?

The music starts playing

_"Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you" _plays into the room. I cringe. The song from Titanic?

Really?

Fine, let's do this thing

Oh god

"So..." I begin as we sway awkwardly

"What?"

"This is fun"

"Shut Up"

"Sorry for spilling your drink down you"

"Do you have any idea how much this dress cost me? You're lucky I'm not charging you"

"So...you moved into Netherfield, that must be exciting"

"Not really."

"So you don't like it?"

"It's...tolerable"

"Right. If my Mum hears you say that she'll probably rip your heart out"

Silence

Great

At least give me something, love

"Do you like York?"

"Not especially"

"What about dancing?"

"Detest it"

"Cool"

"No it's not"

Oh. My God. You know, for all my faults - which are numerous - there's one thing I'm not and never have been and that is rude. Yes, I snark and make little comments from time to time but there always meant in jest and I always engage people, whoever they are, in conversation if we're alone together. Even Brianna, I managed to have a conversation with her as her hands got to know my body intimately and inappropriately earlier on but this Darcy Williams girl. My god. She's just _so _rude. I don't want to dance with her anymore than she wants to dance with me, but my god, at least don't make it even more painful for the both of us by shooting down any attempts to bring in conversation.

And what the fuck is wrong with York anyway?

"So, how long do you think you'll be here for"

"Until the end of the song"

"I meant in York"

"The same hopefully."

Well, thank god and the heavens above for once - at least once this is over I never have to again clap my eyes on this rude, ill mannered girl. Bugger off back to London then, see if I care or give you any thought love, because I can tell you now - I won't. Hell, this is making me want to spend time with Brianna who is now sitting alone at our table looking a little bit heartbroken, I don't know why she seems to be blaming this all on me but I am getting some serious daggers.

I look around to Charlie, who is filming the most awkward dance ever on his iPhone, to Jack, who is once again engrossed in conversation with Charlotte. Kieran and Ellie have disappeared again, Marcus has made progress and has put his book down though he's not acknowledging anyone around him, Aiden is talking to a girl from his year I know to be called Dannii Elton and Mum is looking pleased because, rumour has it, Darcy is even richer than Charlotte and now I'm dancing with her

Love, no, you may have got lucky with Jack and Charlotte but you're not getting anywhere with this pairing

God, how long is this song?

_"YOU'RE HERE, THERE'S NOTHING I FEAR" _Oh shut up Celine, you're not helping matters. Hell, even if I wasn't dancing with little miss sunshine I'd probably still be pissed off because this song reminds me of _Titanic_'s stupidity. Jack could easily have fit on that board thingy, he was skinny enough. He didn't have to die.

That said, I'd switch seconds with him in a New York minute right now. Celine stop wailing, the song ends and for some reason people clap.

"Thanks." mutters Darcy before scurrying away

_Thanks_

This bitch is confusing as hell. I make my way back from the Dancefloor and seat myself back down next to Brianna at the table, she still looks upset and I can't help but feel a little bad for her.

"Hey" I say

"Hey back" she says

"Look, I don't really know why I feel compelled to, but I'm getting the feeling that I owe you some kind of apology" I say, she looks at me confused then laughs

What?

Look, I don't care of the repercussions of this statement: WOMEN ARE FUCKING CONFUSING.

"Oh Elijah, you're still as sweet and kind as ever" she says tapping me on the arm and resting her head in her hands and looking up at me "Look, you have nothing to apologize for...the one who should be doing that is me"

...OK

Let's see where this one goes

"I've let myself down today" she says with a shrug "Ever since I've known I was coming back for Gracie's wedding, I've known in the back of my mind that I would be seeing you again and god, Elijah, I've loved you for so long. Since we were kids. And, for the past two years I've been cringing over the way that I used to act around you - following you, never leaving you alone, hell, I even kissed you when you fell asleep at Matthew Shelton's 17th birthday party..."

Wait? What?

Gross.

"But, I'm so over that part of me now... or at least I thought I was" she goes on, hey, at least she's being honest "I've never been over you though. You've lodged yourself in my heart good and proper, and I told myself that when I saw you again, if I saw you again, then I wouldn't be that stupid, silly little girl that you used to look embarrassed about. I told myself I'd be calm, cool and mature and wow you by getting you to think I was some woman of the world but I've ruined it, I totally let myself down"

This was the most...human I've ever found Brianna in my life.

"It was like, I saw you again and I just immediately regressed to that being that stupid 16-year old who didn't know how to deal with her feelings" she went on "I saw you again, and...well, I don't know. I just...I'm so embarrassed Elijah but you know, you seem to have turned into a really great guy. You were always great anyway...but, there's something about you now...I'm just sorry I guess"

She kisses me on the cheek and then goes over to join her family who are in the middle of taking photo's. I lean back in my chair and think back on the extremely stressful day that I've had that would no doubt have resulted in severe hair loss if I was thirty years older and not in as good a shape as I am. Jack and Charlie come and sit down next to me, smirks still etched across both their faces

"That" says Charlie as he puts his arm around me "Was fucking classic mate, and I've got it all on video too...YouTube viral sensation here we come"

I cringe and bury my head in Charlie's shoulder as he and Jack begin discussing the day and how they found the wedding, I'd hated pretty much every second of it and I hadn't even been able to get drunk. Mum comes over. All I need.

"Wonderful dancing Elijah dear" she says kissing me on the cheek "Just wonderful, and Jack, you and Charlotte seem to have hit it off rather well"

"Err, yeah, she's really cool" Jack replies, clearly trying to think of the most diplomatic answer he could to keep my mother's excitement at bay in a public area. "Have you had a nice day Mum?"

"Wonderful, wonderful" she says "I'm staying a bit longer, but Elijah, I wonder if it's not time to take Kieran home. He's gotten very drunk, I don't know how. I'll come home with Marcus, Jack and Aiden in a few hours. God, I really have no idea how Kieran could've gotten so drunk"

Oh if only you did.

"Yeah, sure Mum, I'll round him up" I say, glad to have been given a suitable opportunity to leave. Charlie and I scan the room for Kieran but can't find him so start having to look around the popular 'hook up' places around the Rugby Club grounds; we eventually find him and Ellie Keaton snogging in one of the stands.

"Kieran, we're going now" I shout.

Ellie smiles and gives me a flirtatious wink as she leaves my drunken little brother and heads back into the club. Charlie and I both put our arms around the very drunken Kieran and lead him into the car park

"I love you Elijah" he says as we guide him, he's heavier than I thought he would be "I think you're the coolest...and the best, and you're really cool and, like, the best big brother ever and I love you"

I'm trying not to laugh, this kid is too cute for his own good sometimes. Charlie's doing the same.

"Hey, Kieran, what about me?" he asks

"I love you too Charlie" he says slurring his words slightly "It's like having another brother, but like a gay brother...I do love you, but I just want to establish that it's just not in a gay way...you know, because I'm not gay. You're the one who's gay"

I'm cracking up here, honestly

"Charlie, do you think I'm fit" Kieran goes on, this just gets better and better "Because loads of girls tell me I'm fit, but no boys ever tell me I'm fit, am I attractive to gay guys or not?"

"You're what we'd call a twink" Charlie says with a laugh "And Kieran, you are very, very handsome... but I don't like you in a gay way, you're like a little brother"

Kieran laughs and hugs us both tightly as we get to the front entrance of the rugby club, I've decided to call us a taxi as I'm not drunk but I've definitely drunk enough to be over the limit and the last thing I need is my family to have another 'Elijah is a bad driver' story to tell at Christmas.

"I'm gonna go be sick" Kieran says letting go of my hand, which he'd decided to hold for some reason. He disappears around the corner.

To Charlie and I's left, Charlotte Bingley, Victoria whateverthefuck and Darcy Williams are deep into a heated looking conversation. Luckily, Charlie and I are within earshot but not visible to any of them which gives us prime ear wigging opportunities.

"I just wish you'd lighten up a bit Darcy" says Charlotte "We've had a lovely day, I don't see why you need to stand in a corner with a scowl on your face"

"I made it quite obvious that I didn't want to be here" Darcy replies "The fact I'm being forced against my will to be here as probably contributed to my bad mood"

God, she's like a robot. Or a female Sheldon Cooper.

"Why don't you dance with some guys?" Victoria asks "That might cheer you up a bit, I've had a great time"

"Nah" says Darcy "Besides, Charlotte's nabbed the only decent looking boy in the entire town by the looks of it"

Wow.

Nice.

"Hey, that boy you had to dance with was really fit" Charlotte says, though I can see she's blushing. So, she at least does like Jack which is comforting "Elijah Bennet, that's his name wasn't it?, yeah...I don't see how you could think he's not good-looking Darcy"

"Yeah" says Victoria "I think he looks like a young Paul Newman or Robert Redford, he's classically good-looking, they're normally your type aren't they Darcy?"

Wow, high praise indeed

I knew I liked that Victoria

Charlie smirks. I'd almost forgotten he was there.

"OK, I'll admit, Elijah's...decent enough" says Darcy. Stings a little that. _Decent_. "But why bother you know? Decent isn't good enough for me"

And with that, Victoria put out her cigarette and the three girls headed back inside totally unaware Charlie and I - and possibly Kieran, though he was still being sick - had heard every word of their conversation

Elijah Bennet. Decent enough. Well, at least I've found my gravestone inscription.

I was angry, but evidently not as angry as Charlie

"Decent?! She thinks you're decent?!" he exclaims furiously "You're way more than just decent...I'm gonna tell that girl how amazing and awesome and sexy you are!"

I pull Charlie back, choosing to ignore that 'sexy' comment, as the taxi has just pulled up and Kieran's emerged from being sick around the corner. I bundle us in, and listen to Kieran's drunken ramblings to the driver about how much snogging he's done today on the way home, a smile etched on my face even if Darcy's 'decent enough' comment didn't seem to be leaving my mind in a hurry

We pulled up to the house to find Dad watching an old _Top Of The Pops _episode from his youth - the late 70's - on BBC4, which can only mean it's 2am at the earliest. We bid Dad goodnight, Charlie watches it with him, and I take Kieran up to bed. Fearing the drunken boy might be sick in his sleep and die I decide to put him in my bed and sleep on the floor just in case, however as I'm getting the sleeping bag he asks me to sleep next to him because. I cringe, but know it's probably the right thing to do, and climb into bed with him

"You had a good day buddy" I asked him

"The best" he says before falling to sleep with a smile on his face. He snuggles into my side, I want to push him off because we're not typically this affectionate with one another, but one look at his sleeping face and I find myself unable too. I even put an arm around him - god, what has happened to Kieran and I over the past week? We've gone from barely acknowledging one another to bloody hugging and sharing a bed. I am quite tipsy though, so maybe that explains the affection.

I remain awake for a few minutes, thinking over the day's events in my minds and for some reason I had a desire to see Brianna once again. Darcy came into my thoughts a good few times.

_'Decent Enough'_

Screw her.


	6. I'm Not a Slag, God Damn It!

Some People

Chapter Six

Now, due to his promiscuous behaviour I don't know how many of you have ever shared a bed with Kieran Bennet but if you have not let me inform of you of a few things:

He likes to cuddle, which I'm sure must be nice for all the girls who fancy him, not so much for me

He kicks

He snores

He talks in his sleep

He'll occasionally shout "No, Leroy!" (I have no idea who Leroy is)

So yeah, if you want a good night sleep do not sleep in the same bed as my second youngest little brother. It's currently 9:45am and our house, which would now normally be hectic and messy, is probably the quietest I've ever heard it in my life if anybody else but me is awake they're doing a very good job at keeping quiet which makes me think that nobody else is awake as none of us are known for our quietness. Kieran's still flat out with his arm draped over my face, I move it and look down at him and can't help but feel a little sorry for him as he's going to feel like shit when he wakes up. Jack came home at about 3.30am with the others, from what I could tell from his tipsy ramblings he'd danced with Charlotte Bingley for the majority of the night and they had exchanged phone numbers, I can only imagine what this news will do to Mum when she finds out. I'm assuming she hasn't found out, because if she has, then we'd all be getting frogmarched down to the local tailor's to be fitted in new suits for Jack and Charlotte's wedding. She'll find out soon enough, Jack is notoriously bad at keeping secrets

Once when I was nine I found this stray cat in a box on a street when I was with Charlie, and it was really crying (fine, meowing sadly, but they sounded like cries to me) so I brought it home and kept it a secret in mine and Jack's bedroom. He agreed but he hates lying to Mum and Dad so during the nine days we actually managed to keep this thing a secret was full of Freudian slips from Jack such as; "Man, the cat's really out the bag now ha?", "Like anyone would keep a cat in their room, that's where goldfish and hamsters should live" and many, many more. I kept my cool, and bear in mind Jack's slips were always just random, we were never asked if we were hiding a cat in our bedroom however Jack cracked after nine days and poor Fluffles had to be taken to a shelter because a cat from the streets could bring "disease" and Aiden was only a baby and could have "died" if he'd been bitten. Wah-wah, I wanted a cat damn it! I've never been big on Dogs funnily enough.

I wonder how Fluffles is now?

Dead probably.

That shit went down in 2003. No way is that cat still alive.

Yeah so long story short, Jack is very, very bad at keeping things secret because of that damn moral core of his. I'd like one of those, I don't think I've actually ever done anything nice in my whole life. Still, at least I have more fun than Jack and to his credit he's never told anyone it was me who accidentally broke all those stain glass windows on the school's six hundred year old chapel back in 2009. He's never even blackmailed me over it, which would've been my first thought had it been anyone other than myself. Kieran sits up, sneezes loudly and then lays back down on my chest and falls back to sleep again immediately and to annoy him, I begin playing with his hair.

I'm bored to tell you the truth.

I'm awake but I can't leave this room because we have a rule in this house that the first one downstairs has to clear away any remaining mess in the Kitchen and I know for a fact that Aiden and Jack won't have cleared away that beans on toast they made at 3am.

So, I'm stuck in here until someone else has ventured down. I hope it's Aiden, wouldn't kill the little twerp to do some cleaning for once in his life. As I lay in bed with nothing to do I can't help but let my mind wonder back to that conversation Charlie and I overheard between Charlotte, Victoria and Darcy and I still can't figure out just why Darcy's words are bothering me so much. _Decent Enough_. I was complimented on how I looked yesterday by scores of people, both male and female, and flirted with endlessly so why is one comment - that didn't even really imply that she thinks I'm ugly - made by some girl I barely know bothering me so much? I mean, thirty seconds before hand I'd be compared to a young Robert Redford. Why aren't I focusing on that? OK, so I've always been a bit of a ladies' man ever since before I learnt to walk but I've never been that guy who demands every woman in the land to be attracted to me and head over heels in love. If a girl fancies me or flirts with me, I flirt back and we see where it goes from there and sometimes, yeah, I can be arrogant about my looks but I'm not obsessed with them in the way Kieran is, I don't abuse them to get what I want in the way Aiden does but I'm also aware of my good looks unlike Jack and I put effort into making myself look good, unlike Marcus.

Maybe my ego is more fragile than I thought?

No.

No.

I've never been egotistical or even really that shallow.

Maybe it's not so much what Darcy said.

But _how _she said it.

_"Decent Enough."_

There had been scorn and anger in her voice, like I'd done something to truly offend her, but really what had I done? Spilled a drink down her which I apologized for, and tried to make the most awkward dance in the world slightly less painful by opening up topics of conversations all of which she completely show down. I just don't get it. What have I done to this girl?

Actually no.

You know what?

It's not me, it's her

She's just rude. Spoiled. Nasty. Stuck Up. Various other insults I can't think of right now. I saw her last night, walking around like she's better than all of us, standing in her corner on her own with her little buddy and clear lapdog Carl Bingley clearly making rude comments about passersby.

The bedroom door opens. It's Aiden, who enters yawning but not actually looking that bad considering he was fairly pissed when I left him and he came home several hours after that. He perches himself on the end of my bed.

"Since when do you and Kieran have this kind of relationship?" he asks me, nodding to Kieran who's sleeping and using my chest as a pillow

"You know what he's like when he gets drunk" I reply with a yawn, I must only have had about three hours of sleep tops "I'd have never heard the end of it, besides he's not been that bad. Did you have a good time yesterday youngest bro?"

"It was alright" he said with a shrug "Well, Mum caught me snogging Dannii on a staircase which was fairly embarrassing but other than that.. yeah, I had a pretty good time. Jack had the best time of all of us though I think" he finishes nodding his head towards our eldest brother

"How long was he dancing with her for?" I ask

"Pretty much until the DJ had packed up all his things and left" Aiden says with a smirk followed by another yawn "We were pretty much the last ones there, Mum didn't want to split Jack and that Bingley girl up and actually paid the DJ to stay another twenty minutes. Marcus fell asleep at the table"

"I'm guessing he didn't pull then" I ask

Aiden laughs

Hey, to be fair, I didn't pull last night either. Though I could have, Brianna was certainly up for it - even after apologizing to me for her stalker like behaviour

"Has anyone gone downstairs yet?" asks Aiden "I left some mess down there, and I really don't want to have to tidy it up"

Ha! Prime opportunity

"Dad went down about an hour ago" I lie "I heard some clanging so he probably tidied it all away"

Aiden leaps up excitedly and runs downstairs, I do a "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" in my head before I hear an annoyed groan and am told from downstairs that I am a "shit" and receive a death threat from my little brother. Not that it bothers me, I pretty much get one any day anyway. The only downside to this is not I really am trapped up here because if I go downstairs there's a very good chance Aiden could beat me to death with a wok.

And I don't need that today.

Luckily, Kieran and Jack both wake up not long after and we begin to discuss the events of yesterday.

"So, when's the wedding" I ask Jack

"Very funny" he says, though the smile on his face is massive "No, she was just a really nice girl and I'm looking forward to seeing her again"

"Well, I'm happy for you" says Kieran finally lifting his head off my chest and leaving the room to go and get dressed in his own.

"What's with you and him lately?" Jack asks me once Kieran has gone. "You've never been that close, I'm pleased don't get me wrong, but since when have you and he become sharing a bed and hugging all night kind of brothers?"

"We're not" I exclaim

"Oh you are" Jack says with a laugh "I woke up at about 4am and you two were snuggled together. It was quite cute, I've got some photo's"

"You can't use blackmail! That's my trick and besides you're meant to be the nice one!" I exclaim

"I'm not gonna do anything with them" Jack says rolling his eyes "Although, Kieran's 18th is far enough away so you'd both forget they exist..."

"Anyway" I say getting out of bed and perching myself on the end of Jack's "I know what you're doing here, Jack Bennet. You're trying to change the topic of conversation from you and Charlotte Bingley"

"I am doing no such thing" he says, blushing furiously. See, I told you, Jack cannot keep any secret

"So, you and Charlotte danced together all night?" I say "I mean, that's a lot of time to get to know her isn't it? What are her views on abortion?"

Was that inappropriate?

That might've been inappropriate

I think-

I don't care.

"Yeah, cos we really talked about that" Jack says, still blushing. "We didn't really talk for a while...we kind of just looked at one another, but, yeah we got chatting later on and she's a really nice girl."

I'm happy for Jack, honestly I am, he's had his heartbroken in the past and it's nice to see him genuinely seem to like someone again. It's been a while. But, for those reasons I can't help but be wary of Charlotte - I'm sure she is as lovely as Jack says she is and I did like her but I don't trust her. Yet. I'm not having Jack hurt again, and furthermore Mum has heavily encouraged this match and that always ends in disaster so there must be _something _wrong with Charlotte mustn't there? Well, the company keeps certainly don't say much for her.

Victoria was nice, but she seems a bit too dense to be cruel or mean. But, her brothers were both rude and obnoxious and had it not been for the presence of the even ruder and even more obnoxious Darcy then I would have been ranting about them in my head all morning. Alex got _obscenely _drunk and started insulting people until their driver stepped in and took him home (yeah, I'm also immediately less inclined to like people who have drivers - which made going to the school I did very hard) and Carl was condescending, rude, arrogant and brutish. But Charlotte can't really help keeping the company of Alex, Victoria and Carl as they're her brother's and soon to be sister-in-lawbut the fact she actively chooses to spend her time with someone like Darcy concerns me. I can't imagine Darcy as a friend, she seems so cold and unsympathetic, as well as being completely devoid of any form of fun.

"What did you think of her brothers?" Jack asks me "I really liked them, I was worried Carl and Alex would be all protective but they had a drink with me and we had a right laugh. Victoria was lovely too."

Of course Jack liked them, he only ever sees people at face value and they were very charming towards him for most of the night. Probably because their little sister asked them to be, but it was enough to induct Jack into their fan club permanently. Funnily enough, Jack wasn't shilling Darcy at all so at least he's not totally lost his mind.

"Yeah. They seemed...great" I manage to say in answer to Jack's question. He seems contended and heads off for a shower, whilst I get dressed and bravely decide to descend downstairs to see how Aiden is getting on with tidying up. To his credit, when I get down to the kitchen Aiden has finished tidying, the place looks spotless, and he is sitting at the table reading a magazine. He doesn't look up at me and carries on just flipping through his magazine as I make my way towards the fridge in order to make some breakfast; I'm starving due to the fact the wedding only served Salmon which is the most disgusting food to have ever been invented so I didn't eat much yesterday.

Yes, I'm aware that the Salmon will once have been a fish

Regardless

So, I'm there looking through the fridge trying to locate some bacon when I hear Aiden's voice pipe up from behind me. "Go on then, eat something" he says "I dare you"

He's got his evil grin on his face, so I close the fridge, and leave a note saying I'm going out for breakfast.

I'm not taking any risks

* * *

You know, the more that I think about Darcy the more frustrated I end up getting and the thing is, I can understand why some people might not like me. Robin Teller for instance, he was a kid in my year at school who hated me because I was a dick to him when he we were 12, I was downright nasty to that kid sometimes and despite the fact I grew up, matured and apologized to him on multiple occasions he never had it in him to like me after that. Fair enough. He knew me, he knew my ways and he decided that he didn't like my ways and he didn't like me. I'd prefer it if Robin Teller did like me now, but he doesn't and I can't be frustrated about it because I know it comes from my own actions and fair judgement on his part. Darcy is different. She glances at me for two seconds, dismisses me and decides that she doesn't like me. I can be a dick sometimes, but she didn't even give me the opportunity to be one towards her

The shallow part of me that still sometimes wants to shag anything that moves is frustrated too, because I'd have actually been open to flirting with Darcy before she was so rude. Honestly, the girl is absolutely _stunning _looking. Tall (though not as tall as me thank god) with long black hair that goes half-way down her eyes, clearly has quite a toned body, her eyes were brown and would be hypnotic most likely if I'd had the chance to look into them (or they'd be the devil's eyes and show us the demon within, but regardless, she has nice eyes). Yeah, had she not been immediately dismissive and rude I probably would have tried flirting with her last night - if only to shoo away Brianna, who it would seem, has put her number into my phone at some point when I wasn't looking - which would have no doubt delighted Mum. Not only would her "eternally single son" who's a bit of a "whore" and "puts it about more than a tom cat" (all her own words by the way, and said infront of me and the local vicar as well. Father Downham told me he'd pray for me as he was leaving our house following that dinner) have found a girlfriend she would also have been able to gloat over her frenemies as she would think having a black girl dating one of her son's would make us more "inclusive" than most around these parts. The concerning thing is that would be true. But, I'm never going to date Darcy so that puts that to bed.

I'm currently waiting inside the kitchen of Charlie's family home. The Lucas's are nice people for the most part; obviously I love Charlie like a brother, and his little brother Mario - 14, and one of Aiden's best friends - is a cool kid though he does get annoyed when I call him Mario Luigi instead of Mario Lucas. His mother, Jenna, is quite like my mother just a bit more toned down and calm and she makes the world's most amazing fairy cakes

Don't scoff. You haven't tried them.

His dad's a bit of a prickly character who's still coming to terms with Charlie's sexuality, it's taken him two years to even be able to say Charlie's gay in public. This should put me off Richard but it doesn't, he's still one of the funniest blokes I've ever met and he's like a second Dad in many ways as he used to bring Charlie and Mario along on our Bennet-Boys camping trips when we were kids. Finally, there's Charlie's youngest siblings - his adopted sister from China, Kim. Kim's nine and I don't really have much of an opinion on her because she's never once spoken whilst I've been in the room. Jenna says she's shy when I'm around because she has a crush on me, which makes me cringe a little. Still, closest thing I have to a little sister and all so yeah...Kim's cool.

Charlie's showering at the moment which means it's going to be an easy three-quarters of an hour until he's ready to head out, so I'm being treated to tea, biscuits and fairy cakes in the Lucas's kitchen with Jenna making passive aggressive comments about my mother. This is amazing.

"Oh, Elijah, you're a very handsome boy but you look underfed" Jenna says "Does that mother of yours not feed you?"

She does actually. Very well, but I can't resist playing along

"When she can" I say looking at the table pretending to be hard done by "You know, when she's not reading her books about BDSM or making sure all my brother's but me are well attended too"

Jenna kisses me on the head and gets me another fairy cake. Mario, who is in the room, smirks and rolls his eyes at me.

"And have you found yourself a nice girl yet" Jenna says as she sits back down and hands me the cake "You'd be a very good catch Elijah, don't you ever want a relationship that goes beyond flirting and kissing?"

At this point in time. No.

Flirting and kissing is ace. I'd highly recommend it.

"Mum, Elijah will settle down when he wants too" says Mario "Until then, he's perfectly happy shagging around"

He winks and shoots me a cheeky smile. Little prick. He's been spending _way _too much time with Aiden; in fact I bet Aiden was behind that little sneak attack. You see, Jenna loves me but she thinks I'm riddled with STD's because she once walked in on me and Hilary Mellor from two years above me at school having sex during Charlie's 17th birthday party. Jenna's religious, and very into celibacy, and has been very discouraging me of my "active" sex-life ever since.

Not had sex once in 2014 so far, I am going slightly crazy with it all though, but that's not good enough for Jenna

"Oh Elijah, do you need me to get you some pamphlets on sex addiction?" she says sadly putting her hand on my wrist. If this gets back to Mum I am going to hang Aiden and Mario off a bridge by their knees.

Not sure how I'll pull that off but damn it, it's happening.

Luckily, Charlie enters at that moment and we manage to make a quick escape for it - Jenna offering to get my condoms from work (she's a nurse) as we head outside and towards Charlie's car.

"Why does everyone think I'm a slag" I rant to him as he drives us into the centre of town and towards Weatherspoons "I haven't had sex in months! Yeah, I flirt like crazy, but it's not like I follow it through every time. I haven't even snogged a girl since last Saturday night!"

It's been over a week since I've snogged a girl? Shit. That's the longest I've gone since I was 13.

Maybe I am a slag?

"It's a combination of things" says Charlie "One; you were very promiscuous during the last two years of high school, don't look at me like that Elijah, you were. I counted. You also were caught no less than three times. Two; you're a natural flirt, and mixed with your charismatic nature and good-looks it just makes people think that you're getting some on a regular basis"

Damn it Charlie, making sense and all.

"Well, you're those things too and no one accuses you of being a sex addict" I say "And let's not forget how far you got with girls during your sexually confused adolescence"

Charlie laughs and shakes his head. He only ever kissed girls, but damn it, there were a lot of them.

Quite sad when you think about it really

"So, you recover from the most awkward dance ever yet?" he asks me as we sit down; something about ordering a breakfast and having it with an alcoholic drink seems weird, but that's the beauty of Weatherspoons for you "Because I have watched that video over and over and over again, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen"

"I'm so annoyed that I can't think of anything else" I say "I mean, 'decent enough' who the hell does she think she is?"

I'm already bored of this

From now on, no more Darcy

I never have to see that woman again as long as I live. Unless Jack starts going out with Charlotte, then it's going to be difficult.

Or if Mum sees Charlie's video of us dancing and decides that, yes, Darcy and I did have chemistry and then she tries to set us up

Oh, the horror

"Charlie delete the video"

"But it's so funny"

"Delete. The. Video"

"Fine"

"Thank you"

"It's already on Facebook anyways. Twenty likes and four comments at the present moment, one from your mother"

_Shit_

But like, shit

Who was it exactly that gave mother's the idea that Facebook was for them?

"What does it say?" I ask cringing through my hands

"_Lovely day. This was a highlight" _Charlie reads

OK, that can mean one of two things. The first being that Mum has decided that Darcy and I _did _look good together dancing and this is a highlight because now, she thinks, I'm going to marry the very wealthy Darcy Williams and we're going to get to be "inclusive" and I will have beautiful mixed race children. Or secondly, she considers this as a highlight because like the rest of the people in my life she enjoys laughing whenever I am ritually humiliated, which is quite regularly

Please be laughing at my humiliation. Please be laughing at my humiliation.

I return home two hours later, a little tipsy, and discover that Mum was indeed laughing at my humiliation as I return home to the sight of my entire family gathered around Aiden's laptop laughing their arses off at my awkward dance.

Thank god.

"Oh, Elijah" calls Mum as I walk outside of the room "I've had Jenna Lucas on the phone, I want you to go to the clinic for a Chlamydia test on Monday please. Why is it you can shag every girl in York but can't find one to have as a proper girlfriend?"

I worry about the way Jenna Lucas, a nurse, gives information.

Yet more laughter from my ever loving family

What a weekend. But at least it's nearly over.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **N'aww, poor Elijah. A quick thank you to everybody who has reviewed, followed, favourited or even just read this story over the past week or so - I'm having a blast writing it, Elijah just seems to write himself now which is always a good thing. I do love him.

In other news, I have the birthdates of some of our main characters for you!

Elijah Bennet - b.10 January 1994 (20)

Jack Bennet - b. 8 March 1992 (22)

Marcus Bennet - b. 6 October 1995 (18)

Kieran Bennet - b. 11 December 1997 (16)

Aiden Bennet - b. 27 January 1999 (15)

Charlie Lucas - b. 11 January 1994 (20)

Mario Lucas - b. 18 December 1998 (15)

So yeah, poor Mrs. B spent pretty much of all of the 1990's pregnant.

Keep reading and once again, thank you!


	7. Care Bears & Past Sexual Partners

Some People

Chapter Seven

Charlie has gone MISSING.

OK, maybe that's a bit dramatic - he's not actually missing. He wasn't kidnapped in the night, I know exactly where he is and I've been in contact with him several times since he left but the point remains; Charlie is not here and that is very, very, very bad news for me. OK, so we're out the other day just looking around some shops because Brianna Fairclough has decided to stick around and her birthday is in a few weeks and she's planning a massive party/reunion for everybody who was in our year (within reason, no nerds) and as she seems slightly less insane before I've told her that Charlie and I will definitely be there for her 20th this coming Friday. So, we're out shopping and Charlie gets a call and has to dash off because Old Grandpa Lucas has had a fall and shattered his pelvis or something, I don't know why it's Charlie who has to go and care for the sick old relative but regardless three hours later he was packed and left me behind. Now, I know what you're thinking; "Elijah, he's looking after his grandfather, this isn't about you" and for those of you who are thinking that, let me educate you on a few things:

1) Most things Charlie does are about me in some way. That's how friendships work.

2) This is the second time in three months Old Grandpa Lucas has done this

3) Old Grandpa Lucas hates me and will actively try to discourage Charlie from being friends with me. It's not like I deliberately set his pigeon collection free to fly away when I was 9, I wanted to pet them and they all flew out. Totally not my fault. Who even keeps pigeons anyway?

4) Charlie and I have been best friends since we were TWO. That's a solid eighteen years of friendship and do you know the longest amount of time we've gone without seeing each other in that time period is? FOUR DAYS. Four hellish days in the Summer of 2004 when I was in intensive care because my appendix suddenly decided to give way when we were building a tree house. I actually nearly died and it left me with one hell of a scar on my stomach, but I use that to my advantage. Maybe I was stabbed trying to help someone? Maybe I'm a pirate? Those girls don't know. We never did finish that tree house. For shame.

5) I'm aware this is deeply unhealthy but I get legit separation anxiety when I'm away from Charlie. It's odd.

So yeah, Charlie is tending to Old Grandpa Lucas in Newcastle (_fuckin' _Newcastle!) and I'm alone here dealing with the continued aftermath of the wedding. Three days later and Mum is still in her post-someone else's child's wedding mood; moping about the house, snapping at everyone (mainly me) and trying to reason with herself that not all her children will die single and alone. The only thing keeping her functioning in the slightest is the fact that Jack seems to have really hit it off with Charlotte Bingley as they have been texting each other since Sunday and Jack blushes like a twelve year old school boy with a crush whenever anyone mentions her name. They haven't seen each other since the wedding but Jack has invited her to come with us to Brianna's party on Friday night.

I'm still struggling to get enthusiastic about what Mum is dubbing "the romance of the century". I don't know if it's because it feels a lot like my Mum set the whole thing up and therefore it's not really organic, to me it all just feels very, very weird and I don't like it and I don't appreciate Jack's heart being put on the line once again. I'm the only one who seems to be sharing this mindset though, even Dad is humouring the situation and none of my brothers could really give a toss. I miss Charlie, at least he would have tried to see things from my point of view and unlike everyone else realize that I'm only sceptical because Jack's my brother and I love him. Not that I've actually told Jack himself any of my fears, he seems way happier than he's been in ages and I don't have the heart to deprive him of this and put suspicions in his mind that could ruin something really good for him. I'm perfectly willing to admit I'm wrong if proven so. Hell, I _want _to be proven wrong.

"I don't see why you can't find something like Jack and that lovely Charlotte have" Mum tells me. It's Wednesday morning and it is only the two of us in the house, everyone else being at work, school or studying at the local library (Marcus is so weird) and Mum has decided to have a 'proper chat' with me "I mean, I worry about you Elijah, all I see is you flirting and kissing these girls. Girls that aren't suitable"

"Well, if they're not suitable then why are you sad that nothing comes of it?" I ask her, she gives me a sly 'you know what I meant' look and returns to polishing Dad's shoes

"I want you to find a girl of substance" she tells me "A girl who has high aspirations, a girl with intelligence, wit and certainly one that isn't willing to put up with your nonsense. Preferably rich, but of course, your happiness comes first"

If my Mum were a receipt, the "your happiness comes first" element would be the tiny little bit at the bottom that is put on their reluctantly because the law requires it. The law of motherhood requires Mum to put my happiness above everything else, even though if it were down to her I could marry the nastiest girl in the world and it wouldn't matter because she was rich.

Like Darcy.

_Damn it!_

I said no more thinking about her!

"Yes, Mum, I get that you'd like to have me settled down and everything" I reply "But you have to remember that I am only 20, I have plenty of time to find a wife and all that jazz. Most people these days don't even get married until their 30's and sometimes people just prefer to live in sin, though that's not even really considered a sin anymore"

"Elijah, we are a traditional Christian family" My mother says outraged "You _will _be getting married"

OK, traditional Christian family? Since when? Dad's an atheist, Marcus think he's a Buddhist, Kieran doesn't know a bible from a _Lord of the Rings_ book (though one could argue, they should be), Aiden is the anti-Christ and Jack, to quote _Hot Fuzz_,is "open to the idea of Religion, but not entirely convinced about it". Myself? Well, a lot of religious rules and beliefs go against many of my personal philosophies so I don't do much about it however I am open to the idea of God being real. I like the idea of Heaven, I just struggle to truly believe when there's so much shit going on in the world. Mum's a casual Christian - she goes to church on Sunday's to "check in" and gossip with all her little friends afterwards. She also drags along my brothers, but leaves Dad behind since he can't be trusted not to deeply offend someone and me because Mum considers me an embarrassment as I'm usually hung-over of a Sunday morning.

So yeah, our family doesn't really do the whole religion thing.

"Mum, you know what my rule is" I declare "No marriage until gay people can get married as well"

"But gay people _can _get married here now" Mum reminds me

Oh shit, yeah

I'd actually forgotten that

Oh, that was a good day. Charlie took me to his favourite clubs to celebrate and I had one of the best nights of my life.

I need to re-think my marriage putting off excuses now though.

"Not until they can get married in...all of the bible belt states of America" I declare. Mum puts her head in her hands and sighs. Great, now I feel bad. How in the fuck did that happen?

"Look, Mum" I say putting my arm on her "Sometimes, in life, our handsome, physically fit, flirtatious sons don't want to get married at age 20. And you know, the important thing to remember is...it's not your fault. Maybe marriage just isn't for me you know? I mean staying with one person for the _rest of my life_ from the age of 20, that's easily like 60-70 years of marriage. I can't stay faithful to one person that long!"

Mum cries. Hard.

Shit.

I can't deal with crying women.

Least of all her.

"OK, OK!" I say patting her head "OK, maybe I'll give this marriage thing a shot. One day. In the future. Like, long in the future when I'm, I don't know, 40? Yeah, if I'm still single at 40 then you more than have my permission to marry me off to whomever you want. As rich as you want her to be. Hell, if Barbra Streisand's still alive and hasn't lost her fortune this time in 20 years, I'll marry her. For you. And for Charlie, kind of, it would excite him"

Mum sniffles, laughing a little.

"But Mum, you have to remember that I am only 20" I say "I don't want to settle down now, and yeah if a girl came into my life now who I fell in love with and all that then yes, I'd get into a long-term relationship with her. But if it doesn't happen, that should be alright, because I'm 20. I just wanna have fun whilst I'm young"

Now Mum pats me on the arm, nods at me and goes to make herself a cup of tea. She looks back at me and smiles before saying;

"I'll get you my pretty and your little brothers too"

I'm outta here

She is crazy

Legit crazy.

Picking up my keys and my wallet I begin making my way up to the Rugby Club. I don't have a scheduled work shift but I need to get out of that house before Mum starts watching her soaps and asking me which particular soap actress I'd most like to be married too. I mean, for me, it is Michelle Keegan from _Coronation Street _but I can hardly tell Mum that or she'd be driving is up to ITV and throwing me at the poor girl as she goes into work. So yeah, I'm escaping from the house for the afternoon so I might as well get paid for it. You know what, actually, I don't even mind if I don't get paid - I just want to get away

The Rugby Club isn't typically busy on a Wednesday afternoon, so much so that none of the managers are even in when I arrive and there's only about three of the old men regulars in there. They all bid me hello, which I return, as I head behind the bar and take off my coat

"Elijah, what are you doing here?" Shannon Rhodes, one of the barmaids, asks me as I come into her view. Shannon's 24, quite fit and flirts with me a lot over the bar which I'm always happy to return. "I didn't think you had a shift on a Wednesday afternoon?"

"I don't" I say simply "But my Mum's gone all wedding cuckoo and keeps trying to get me to settle down and it's doing my head. I'm twenty for god sake, you know?"

"Yeah" Shannon says, clearly not really understanding but nodding along anyway. God, she's fit. "Well, it's quiet for now but I'm glad someone's turned up. There's a couple of girls coming in here in about an hour, they want lunch and stuff, so I'm glad I don't have to manage the bar and kitchen on my own"

"Can you do the kitchens?" I ask "You know how bad I am at cooking. Remember that Yule Log I did for Christmas?"

"I'd rather not" she says with a laugh before heading into the Kitchen to start prepping.

The hour passes by fairly slowly; only a few more of the regulars come in and they ask me the usual questions:

"How're you?"

"How's your Dad?"

"How's your Mum?"

"How're your brothers?"

and then as they drink more and more the stories about how they knew me as a kid, how cute I was, how good at Rugby I was and how handsome I've become come out too and it always causes me embarrassment to some degree. That said, it's not as bad as when it happens on Friday's as more young people tend to be in then and some of them are girls who will flirt with me, then strangely disappear once our cleaner shows them an infamous picture of me from the summer of 1996, 2 years old, ADHD'D off my tits running around naked with chocolate from a melted magnum smeared all over my face and little chest. It's quite a funny picture because it contains Mum trying to chase after me and the photo captures her mid-fall but I'd still it not be shown to girls I'm trying to flirt with

Things start to become busier after a while, as the girls who wanted lunch turn up, and my stomach drops a little when I see it's Brianna Fairclough and several of her former acquaintances from our school days. Amy Rose, Samantha Taylor, Ellie Rowling and Jenny Rowland all of whom I slept with at some point during my school days - I was a horny son of a bitch back then, and had very few morals when it came to sleeping around. I have matured. I promise. The only one I haven't had sex with is Brianna and even she's seen me naked due to extreme stalking when we were seventeen.

"Hi, Elijah" they all say in unison as I approach the table rather reluctantly already blushing. Shannon is absolutely pissing herself behind the bar because I'm an idiot and just told her that I'd had sexual relations of some kind with all of them. For once, I'm also glad that Charlie's not here

"Hey guys" I say with a nervous chuckle "What-what're you all doing back here?"

"Well, Brianna asked us if we wanted to meet up" says Amy looking me up and down as if she was looking for something "You know, for old times' sake and a trip down memory lane - how could I resist?"

"Err, yeah" I say quickly taking their drinks over and scurrying back behind the bar as they all descended into giggles. Probably about me, and my performance in bed. Great. I don't like this one bit

"Take these drinks" I say giving Shannon the tray once I'd finished. I knew I should've stayed with Mum and watched the soap repeats. "I'm gonna take cover in the bathroom until this is all over"

"N'aww, this is the first time I've ever seen you nervous" Shannon says with a laugh, pinching my cheek and taking the tray of drinks from my hands "It's cute."

I am not _cute_

Sexy? Yes.

Charming? Yes.

Cute? No.

Care bears a cute. I am not a care bear.

So, I turn the corner and head to the bathroom not expecting this afternoon to get any worse then who should walk through the door but Charlotte Bingley, her brothers, Victoria and of course, Darcy Williams.

Fuck fuckitty fuck-fuck-fuck.

* * *

"Hey, it's Jack's brother" Victoria declares happily as she and Charlotte make their way over to the bar. Stopping in my tracks I go back behind the pumps and give them both a smile, I have no problem with either of them or Alex - it's Darcy and Carl I'm not a fan of, and they're both giving me evil glares as they set in their booth

"Jack never said you work here" says Charlotte

Well of course not, I doubt his brother's middling career at the local Rugby Club was part of Jack's courting process

"Yeah, I've been here for about two years" I tell her "Having a job helps make the Uni lifestyle a bit more...liveable"

"We never really had to worry about that" says Victoria

Well good for _fucking _you

I smile.

I've become very good at hiding my irritation at customers remarks

"So, is Jack around?" Charlotte asks

"No. He's at work" I say "He might come in later, he normally needs a drink afterwards. His boss can be quite the ball breaker"

I serve them their drinks and watch as the two head back off to their table and the others, catching their conversation briefly. Victoria and Charlotte were both being very complimentary about me but Darcy just flicked her hair back and drank in silence as everyone around her descended into conversation. I was actually relieved when I returned to the bar to find Brianna there waiting for service

"Sorry if I've made you uncomfortable by bringing every girl you shagged at school here at the same time" she says with a slight laugh monitoring to Amy, Ellie, Jenny and Samantha on the table behind "I didn't think"

"It's alright" I tell her with a smile. It's really not, but why cause a fuss? "Just a bit embarrassing, but hey, it was my slutty behaviour that got me into this mess"

I'm very aware that Darcy has just come to the bar with Victoria waiting to be served and is now probably ear wigging our conversation. All I need.

"Hey, you were never a slut" Brianna says batting me on the arm "There were boys who slept with double the amount of girls you did, you were just young, fit and having fun and besides what does it matter? You were still the sweetest guy, and you never boasted or humiliated any of them by spreading rumours"

Brianna makes me sound a lot more decent than I actually am, she's blinded by her strange love for me. I can tell she herself is still a bit embarrassed about Saturday so I carry the drinks to her table and engage her and her friends in chat for a bit before telling her I'm very much looking forward to her birthday on Friday. Also, talking to them was a good way of procrastinating going back and serving Darcy which I do after she coughs particularly loudly to get my attention

"Sorry 'bout that" I say, focusing all my attention on Victoria as I don't have the stomach to be polite to Darcy. _'Decent Enough' _- fuck you.

"It's OK" replies Victoria elbowing Darcy's arm. She rolls her eyes and looks away from the bar. "You're a bit of a lady's man then?"

"I wouldn't say that" I say as I begin getting them their drinks, guess work, rich people never order anything different "I just...how much of that conversation did you here?"

"All of it" murmurs Darcy

Oh listen, it speaks

"Oh." I say, blushing a little I'm ashamed to say "Look, we all did things we regret when were 17. I slept around, some people do drugs, you know..."

"Yeah" says Victoria "I'm totally not judging you or anything, from what that girl you were talking to says you were quite the gentleman"

Darcy coughs.

"Ermm, yeah, I guess you could say that" I say with another nervous chuckle before handing the girls their drinks and watching them return to their table. I can't help but look at Darcy a little, she really is very attractive but it's just ruined by how much of a dick she is. Carl Bingley doesn't think so, he puts his arm around her shoulders as she sits back down next to him and stares at me as if to say "Back off, mine"

You can have her mate.

I clock off a few hours later as some more staff arrive and Shannon's shift has also ended, I did a solid four hours. Both parties of people are still there when I leave; Brianna and my various sexual partners all bid me a flirtatious goodbye whilst the only people from the Bingley table to acknowledge my exit are Victoria and Charlotte whom wave. I wave back, and Carl once again gives me a warning look.

I really don't like that guy

As much as I dislike Darcy, I don't like the fact he has his arms around her like she's some piece of meat that belongs to him

It's not just me he's been giving evils to all afternoon, it's every girl who so much as glanced at Darcy and there were a lot - she's an attractive girl. I also found out from a momentary glance at her purse that she's actually only 22, I'd assumed she was a bit older by her attitude and demeanour - she certainly carried herself like she was in her 30's or something - I'd assumed she was around 27 or 28. From what it seems, Charlotte is 21 and the rest are about 25. I can't help but wonder why they all decided to move into that big house together.

Back to Carl, his possession of Darcy is a little bit creepy and no one in that circle seems to have noticed it. He looks at her constantly, and anytime she gives attention to another guy he gets this furious look on his face. Give the guy a fedora and a subscription to _My Little Pony _and we'd be all set for an absolute creep. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe he's not some possessive weirdo and I'm just reading the signs wrong because I like neither him or Darcy?

There's something off about him though, and I don't like it.

I get home to find my family about to eat dinner. Marcus is trying to revise at the table, and Kieran and Aiden are fighting over who has to set the table whilst Dad just sits in the corner of the Kitchen reading his newspaper as Mum gets into a flap over burning the chicken. I sidestep the kitchen and head into the living room where Jack is slumped infront of the TV.

"'Sup big bro" I ask him as I sit down next to him

"Nothing much" he replies "How're you?"

"Oh, just spent an afternoon with your girlfriend" I reply. Jack pushes me slightly, but has a smile on his face. Maybe I can get onboard with this Charlotte thing? It's making him this happy, and he's only seen her once but blushes whenever her name is mentioned - she must've had quite an effect on him. A genuine one.

"Yeah, she said" Jack says with a smile holding up his phone "She's been giving me updates about you all afternoon actually, who were the girls that were flirting with you and you being shy? That doesn't seem like you"

"It was Brianna and every girl I had sex with between the ages of 14 and 18" I say in hushed tones. Mum and Dad think I lost my virginity at 17 - and I only admitted that because they walked in on me and Ellie, that actually happens to me disturbingly often now I think about it - they would freak the fuck out if they find out I actually lost my virginity to Amy Collins the day after my fourteenth birthday. That really is too young isn't it? What was wrong with me? It was January 2008, I lost my virginity before America had a black president

Weirdly proud of that.

Jack laughs and pats me on the shoulder, "Oh mate, that could only happen to you" he says shaking his head "I guess that's what Victoria and Darcy were talking about when they sat back down with Charlotte. She was wondering but they wouldn't tell her"

Too bloody right.

"Oh, I've invited Charlotte to Brianna's party on Friday" Jack says

"You already told me that" I say

He smiles. "Oh, I forgot" is his reply, before perking up "Oh yeah, and Charlotte asked if she could bring some people because she won't really know anyone. I said I'd have to check with Brianna first because it's her party an all but I'm sure she'll be fine with it"

Oh for the love of god!

If Charlotte brings Victoria - that's brilliant

If she brings Alex too then I may be able to cope with that

But not the other two.

Jack rings Brianna and asks if he can bring some people. Her reply is that it's fine and wouldn't have mattered anyway, she's apparently already invited Charlotte and all of her posse. It would seem that after I left the club, the two groups merged together and Brianna hit it off with Charlotte and Victoria and invited the whole lot of them to her party on Friday

I'm going to a party with those people

Oh god.

OK, rationalise, as long as I don't end up dancing with Darcy again it won't be that bad.

I can avoid the rest of them as well, the party will be full of people I knew from school who will of course want to ask me about my life

I'll be swamped

It'll be fine

Charlie better be back by then though.

I'll drag him down from Newcastle myself if I have too. I reach for my phone and send Brianna a text reading; _"You are aware you just invited my mortal enemy to your party"_

_"I wasn't aware I'd invited Dido" _is her reply

Fuckin' Dido. Hate her.

_"No. Though I do hate Dido. Darcy, you fool." _I text back

_"Oh well. Guess you'll just have to spend time with me when you get here." _is her reply

It looks like I might Brianna. It really looks like I might.

* * *

**Author's Note: **This was kind of a fillery chapter I know, but I wanted to have a sort of day in the life kind of thing and I think it was good to have some development in Elijah and Darcy's relationship, which at now is full on silence and pretending to ignore each other but never fear...the snark wars will begin soon, and Elijah may finally have met his snarky match in Darcy

Some replies to review's now:

**Dizzy Lizzy.60: **Thank you for all of your reviews thus far and I'm really digging your enthusiasm for my story. In reply to your last review, Darcy is 22 years old so Elijah could end up being a bit of a toy boy - but I don't think he'd mind that one bit!

**Jessy: **Haha! Yes, I know the feeling of having a lot of teenage guys around too. There are six male teenage cousins in my family, and it's pretty damn hectic and one of my main reasons for wanting to do this. There's so much comedy and laughs to be had by chucking these 5 young boys who are all very different together

**LoveInTheBattleField: **Sorry, I don't really like Sailor Moon but I'm glad you're enjoying my story!

**WendyWho: **Glad you're finding this so funny! It's comedy above all else for me, and Elijah's one of the funniest characters I've ever written. Snarky with a heart of gold characters are my favourites. As for cast, not particularly - though from the description I've given him in my head Elijah is Greg Sulkin who is very handsome and about the same age


	8. Brianna's Birthday Banger (Part I)

Some People

Chapter Eight

So, despite the fact that I downright outlined to Mum a few days ago how bad of an idea me getting married at the age of 20 is, she has not listened. I came home from work this afternoon to find Mum, Charlie's Mum and various other vapid housewives gathered in our living room evidently waiting for me.

"Erm, hello" I say slowly as I walk into the room

"Oh Elijah, dear, you're home" Mum says jumping up, taking me by the hand and sitting me down next to Jenna Lucas and Stephanie Collins both of whom smile at me and place their hands on my knee. The sad thing is this the most female action I've had this year. I don't like what's going on here. "Now, dear, the girls and I would just like a quick word with you about something very important before you head off to get ready for that Brianna Fairclough's party"

It's in five hours. Strangely, I'm excited.

"Elijah, we would like to talk to you about marriage" Jenna Lucas says "Now, Olivia here, tells us that you don't plan on marrying?"

"I never said that" I exclaimed "I just said I don't want to get married _now_. I'm 20, I want to be young and have fun and not have to tie myself down to one person."

Ellen Taylor coughs loudly. Oh so what Ellen? I shagged your daughter four years ago, get over it already

"Yes, and we understand that dear" says Mum. No you don't. "I'm just...apprehensive, it's been years since you had that nice girlfriend and-"

"No, nope, no way, not doing this" I declare standing up and walking out of the room. Mum evidently tries to chase me but Jenna stops her, and I walk upstairs now in a bad mood because Mum can't let one day go by without mentioning Jennifer. She just doesn't understand that I don't, and won't ever, want to talk about her. Christ, why is that so hard for her to understand? I mean, to be fair, I do put on a front of nothing bothers me a lot of time but surely Mum could guess that my girlfriend and first love cheating on me with one of my best friends and then trying to seduce my elder brother might still sting just a little. It was only three years ago, but then again Mum always loved Jennifer and even at the time she said I probably drove her to do what she did. The sad thing was for once in her life, Mum was probably right. I never deserved a girl like her anyway. I stomp around the room looking for something to wear, getting angrier and angrier until Marcus walks in

"Do you mind?" he asks "I know you all think I'm a massive nerd or whatever, but I am trying to revise in there and I can't concentrate with you stomping around like Hagrid in a bad mood"

If it hadn't been for that Harry Potter reference I'd have likely just punched Marcus in the face right now.

"Sorry" I mumble instead before sitting on the edge of my bed and putting my head in my hands. I'm not crying, I just want to scream out of frustration

"Right" says Marcus awkwardly, doing what he always does in these situations. He's registered I'm frustrated about something and he wants to help, but doesn't know how too because he's so damn awkward and has limited human interaction "Are you like...are you, OK?"

"Fine" I reply shortly, if I wanted to talk to anyone about Jennifer it certainly wouldn't be to Marcus

"OK" he says slowly before leaving the room and closing the bedroom door slowly behind him. I throw a stray pen at the wall before getting undressed and heading to the bathroom, an angsty shower is just what I need right now. The shower is probably my favourite place to think, mainly because it's the only place in the whole house where literally nothing can be heard so it's the only peace and quiet that I ever get. You know, as much as I realize that Mum doesn't get me at all, I don't get her either. Now, granted, I'm not a mother to five teenage boys each of whom are troublesome in their own unique way but sometimes the way she treats me is like she only had room enough to love four and I had to do without. Surely, surely, any mother worth anything would despise the girl that treated her son like crap, cheated on him and tried to sleep with his elder brother. Surely Mum should never want to hear Jennifer's name spoken again, surely I should have been the one defending Jennifer and saying "she wasn't that bad" to Mum instead of her saying it to me. It's honestly like she just doesn't care that I got hurt.

She's the worst Mum ever.

About half an hour later and I'm both calm enough and wet enough to take myself back into civilization and start getting ready for Brianna's party. I wrap a towel around my waist and head back to my room where I bump into Dad on the way

"You really need to stop walking around in just a towel dripping wet" he says "The neighbourhood girls can sense it, and frankly you make me feel very bad about myself"

"You should come running with me and Charlie" I say with a laugh

"Running? Good lord, no, I don't feel that bad" he chuckles "Your mother seems to think you're in a bad mood"

"I'm fine now" I say quickly

"I don't doubt it" he says beginning to walk away before quickly placing a hand on my bare shoulder "You're a good boy Elijah, your Mum knows that...she just struggles with you sometimes, just remember that her heart is in the right place"

"She mentioned Jennifer again" I say, sounding more like a lost little boy than I ever would have wanted too

Dad sighs

"Jennifer is going to look back one day and regret so much that she lost you" Dad says with a smile "Hell, I'd be surprised if she already hasn't. Now, go get dressed because there's probably a whole harem of young women waiting outside the house for a glimpse of you"

I laugh and smile at Dad as I walk into mine and Jack's bedroom. That is how parenting should be done. Jack is already in our room looking frantic as he gets himself ready, this is technically his first date and despite the fact he always looks flawless even when he's just rolled out of bed on a morning, he seems to be putting extra care into his appearance tonight. Currently he is standing infront of our mirror in his pants trying desperately to gel his hair

"Sup bro" he asks me as I walk passed him and disrobe before finding some underwear and start looking for a suitable outfit "Mum seems to think that you're in one of your pissy moods"

Is there anyone she hasn't spoken to about this? Does Aiden know? He better not know. He will use it for evil.

"I've got one word for you mate" I say as I shake a deodorant can "Jennifer"

Jack cringes slightly and looks away from me. He's always felt immensely guilty about the whole Jennifer thing, even though I saw the whole thing happen and he had done nothing but be his usual kind and caring self.

"I'm, err, sorry" he says

"Nothing to be sorry for" I tell him and he smiles "I was angry, I've calmed down now though, I just don't see why she won't let it go. Let me forget her you know?"

Knock at the door

"Hello?" I shout

"It's Charlie" is the reply "Are you decent? Can I come in?"

"We're not decent" says Jack with a laugh "But I don't think that's ever stopped you, and besides it's nothing you haven't seen before"

Charlie laughs and walks in to our room. I'm jumping on a bed from excitement, I haven't seen Charlie in five days and I've honestly been feeling like a part of me has been missing

"Charlie, Charlie, Charlie" I say with excitement as I run and give him a hug "Never leave again! Never leave again!"

"Eli, your knob is literally touching my face" he says, I'd completely forgotten that I'm currently only in my underwear when I jump hugged him. I quickly let go and return to finding a decent outfit for tonight; I don't know who I'm trying to impress but I'm determined to look my best.

"How's your Uncle" Jack asks as Charlie takes a seat on my bed

"He'll live" Charlie says with a smile "So, Elijah, I've been hearing about your escapades with your former little school harem at the Rugby club. So, every girl from school you shagged under one roof at the same time two nights in the same week - I bet you can't wait for Brianna's party"

"It'll be fine" I tell him "I cleared the air with them on Wednesday and we actually all managed to have a laugh together like old mates, it's just as shame that they're now probably all best friends with that Darcy bird"

"Oh will you shut up about her" Charlie sighs "All I've heard Jack, from Elijah, via text this week has been these admittedly glorious mini-rants about this Darcy girl. I mean, some of them were quite funny but you have to let it go mate. Everyone with eye-sight, and even some without, know you're way above 'decent enough'"

"You wanna try sleeping in the same room as him" Jack replies "Oh that reminds me Elijah, Darcy is coming tonight-"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I smile.

"And I would really appreciate it if you weren't a monumental twat to her" Jack concludes

_Monumental _twat

That means I have room to be a little bit of a twat to her then doesn't it?

Like snide comments and the like

Cos monumental twat would be something like pushing her head into Brianna's birthday cake

I'm not into that

Ruining perfectly good cake.

"I promise" I say "Look, I hate the girl, so it's not like I'm going to go out of my way to talk to her"

I make my way towards Charlie and sit down next to him, and then put my arm around his shoulder. He leans into my side.

"Besides" I continue "Why would anybody in their right mind talk to _her _when they've got Charlie and a whole personal harem of former female admirers to talk to instead? I doubt I'll even see Darcy"

"Mate, as nice as leaning on your bony naked shoulder is" says Charlie lifting his head up off it. Bony? I'm fucking muscular. What's he talking about bony? He'll be saying I'm 'decent enough' next. I really am hung up on my looks aren't I? "Let's find you a nice outfit"

I sit back on the bed and watch as Charlie picks me out something to wear, he's always been much better at this sort of thing than I have. Hell, even when we were five and going to school birthday parties Charlie would be the one who would pick out what I was to wear - which was good, seen as though it was the '90s and my mother had terrible fashion sense

Charlie finds me a nice button down blue shirt and a good pair of jeans. I leave the top three buttons undone as per usual, gel my hair and sag my trousers a little before the three of us head downstairs to wait for the taxi Jack had ordered to take us to the party. It was meant to be being held at Brianna's aunts house but Grace had returned from her honeymoon last night and had been set on cooking a meal for her and her new husband but Grace isn't a good cook and now the Fairclough's kitchen is black, burnt and, according to Brianna at least, turns out to have been housing several rat families. This was news that had greatly pleased my mother.

"Oh aren't you all so very handsome" she says pulling us into the living room and standing the three of us in a line before proceeding to take easily about fifty pictures of us all "My, my, my Jack, Charlotte Bingley will be impressed when sees you and Charlie, the right..._boy _will be lucky enough to have you, oh and Elijah...is that a pimple on your chin?"

Thanks.

Wait?

Pimple?

No way.

I'm Elijah Bennet. I don't get pimples.

"Yeah. Looks to be a pimple" Aiden says with a malice after walking up to me and scrutinising my face.

I hurriedly run towards the mirror and inspect my chin with great detail. Yep. There it is right on the centre. A big fuck off massive pimple that I'd completely failed to notice until now. I didn't get one pimple, or spot, or zit all the way through my teenage years and I get one now? What the fuck? I know karma comes around all but couldn't God have given me something less embarrassing? Like, I don't know, break my leg but don't give me a pimple like I'm a fucking thirteen year old. Jeez.

"Charlie just squeeze it! Squeeze it!"

"No, it's gross"

"CHARLIE DO IT"

"I can't believe you have a pimple" Aiden says, doubling over on the sofa with laughter, I hate him sometimes.

"Don't worry Elijah, you can barely see it" Kieran says turning me into his view where he inspects my chin. He's lying, because he's dumb, but he's very sweet.

"CHARLIE SQUEEZE IT"

"FINE"

Unfortunately, Charlie is way too grossed out to do it and by the time the taxi arrives I still have the massive pimple on my chin. This is fantastic, how could this night possible get any worse?

I'm 20 and I have a _pimple _on my chin. 12 year olds have this problem. I'm reluctantly heading towards the front door when Jack runs ahead of me and for some reason asks the driver if he wouldn't mind waiting for a few more minutes. It's only then I notice the size of the taxi, it's much bigger than you'd expect, almost like Jack booked a bigger one on purpose because he was expecting more people than just he, Charlie and I

Hold up

No.

No

_No_

"Jack?" I ask him with a smile on my face as he walks back into the house "Is there something you've maybe forgotten to tell me"

"No" he says, though he's clearly aware I've sussed him

World's worst liar I'm telling you

"So, nothing about going to the party with several people I've told you time and time again this past week I'll be desperate to avoid all night?" I ask him with a shrug "Nothing like that?"

"Charlotte asked because none of them know how to get to Brianna's venue" he says quickly

"Then give them a map and some directions!" I exclaim before walking away and heading upstairs towards Marcus's bedroom. He always has pimples, he's bound to have some pimple cream, and I suppose one benefit of Jack inviting the snobby rich people along with us is that they're running late and I have time to do this

"What do you want?" Marcus asks me as he lets me into his bedroom. It hasn't changed much since the last time I'd been in here - about two years ago, though I am surprised that hamster of his is still alive. Then again, it is practically his best friend so I'd hate for it to die.

"Have you got any pimple cream" I ask him pointing to the whopper on my chin. He reacts but doesn't make a comment before opening his draw and handing me the cream with a chuckle being held back "You can laugh you now, perfect Elijah gets his first pimple at 20, hell if I was one of you I'd be pissing myself"

Marcus lets out a little laugh and I laugh along with him for a few seconds. He suddenly looks up at me looking all puffy, red and nervous

"Elijah, do you think that I-maybe I could-d'you know what, forget it, it was stupid" he splutters out in a matter of seconds

"No, go on" I prompt but he shakes his head and remains silent. The it dawns on me. "You would be totally welcome to come tonight you know, lots of people would remember you and there's probably a few kids from your year there anyway. Two years isn't much!"

"Nah, it was stupid" he mutters "All I'd do is stand in a corner not knowing what to say, making people feel awkward and even if there were kids from my year there they'd only ignore me"

"I'm sure that's not true" I say, I don't like this. I've never taken an interest in Marcus but it's always be comforting to me to think he had a group of nerdy friends like in _The Big Bang Theory _or something where he was the Leonard, or at the very least the Howard. I'd even convinced myself that he was 'geeky attractive' and he had a few girls after him. Guess not. I don't want to think of him being ignored, especially as he's leaving Year 13 in a few weeks which means he could have had _13 years _of being ignored by his peers.

"You don't know what it's like" he sighs. Damn, stab me in the heart why don't you? If making you feel a mixture of protective, angry on their behalf and affectionate is all little brothers do then I really need to apologize to Jack ASAP. "Look, it's cool, it was a stupid idea anyway"

"No it wasn't" I say rushing to him and putting my hand on his back "Look, come, and I'll stick with you. I promise. You won't be alone, I'll stick with you and introduce you to some people and you'll have the best night ever - you've got a whole summer before Uni to get through, you might as well meet some people to spend that time with"

"No, thanks, but no" he says with a sigh "I'd just cramp your style"

Ha!

Like I'll have any with pimple cream remnant on me

"Seriously Elijah, it's cool, I need to revise some more anyway" he says looking up me trying to convince me with a fake smile. I wasn't, but decided not to push him, put an affectionate arm on his shoulder before getting up and heading to the door. I took one look back at him

"You sure?"

"Positive. But thanks, you're a better brother than you let yourself think Elijah"

Confused by his final statement, because really I'm a terrible brother, I left his room and closed the door. His sad little sigh as he did so nearly broke my heart and as I descended the stairs I felt a lot less jovial than I had done ten minutes earlier, and to make it worse the cast of Gossip Girl does York were all waiting for me in the hall

"What's that on your chin?" were the first words that came out of Darcy's mouth when she saw me, and pointed at my chin where I realized I'd forgotten to wipe some of the cream off

Everyone laughed

I shoot daggers at Darcy

Oh it is _on_ bitch

* * *

I stay quiet for most of the taxi journey, so much so that Charlie and Jack both keep asking me if I'm alright because usually I am the source of all conversation. The truth? I just can't get my thoughts away from Marcus all alone in his cold, dark bedroom just endlessly studying but also being endlessly lonely and having no friends to hang out with, or at least text during revision sessions to make it more bearable. I'm going to hang out with Marcus more, I've decided

God, I hope we've got things in common.

Jack and Charlotte are just staring at each other at the moment and seem to be having their own private conversation, whilst the rest of us are sat in silence as Victoria more talks at us about her mother's new chiwawa and how excited she is to go to a party thrown by the 'other half'. I like Victoria, I do, out of all of them she's the only one I haven't actively wanted to smack at some point but she really needs to be aware of her accidental and unintentional snobbery because it's going to start pissing people off if it hasn't done already. Mum wasn't too impressed with Victoria's comments about how her house was 'snug' and 'cute' and that the 'rustic' and 'unkempt' feel gave it a more domestic charm. Also, if Victoria thinks we're the other half then we need to make sure she never pays a visit to Hull because she'll probably have a heart attack from the mere shock.

"So, what's this Brianna girl really like then?" Charlotte asked "We got talking the other night but I didn't really get much of an impression of her"

"Well, Elijah knew her best" Jack says pointing at me. I lift my head off my chin and quickly try to clear my mind of Marcus related worries "They were in the same year as each other at school"

"She used to stalk him" announces Charlie

Everyone's heads turn to face me, Darcy in particular has an expression that read somewhere between confusion and disbelief. Because, of course, in her world no one who is only 'decent enough' would ever be stalked

I think I maybe need to let that comment slide

Not gonna though.

Riles me up the wrong way.

"OK, it wasn't like full on stalking" I announce. Why am I defending Brianna? She _did _stalk me for four years. I don't know, maybe I just don't want all these dickheads judging her. You can say what you want about me but damn it, I am loyal to and protective of my stalkers "She had a crush on me-"

"Has" coughed Charlie quietly

"Had a crush on me" I continued "And she didn't really know how to deal with it or something like that so, on occasion, her behaviour could be slightly..."

"Erratic" offered Jack

"Down right fucking creepy" was Charlie's input

"_Keen_" I decide on, kind of embarrassed that literally everyone's attention is on me. Alex and Carl both look impressed for some reason, Victoria's looking terrified like Brianna might start stalking her, Charlotte seems to be just listening however Darcy has been rolling her eyes and scoffing at every word I say.

She's just jealous that she doesn't have a stalker

Well, except Carl.

"So, let me get this straight" pipes up Darcy "This girl stalked you for years and you're perfectly happy to go to her party where you might get drunk, pass out and she could whatever the hell she wants to you"

"No, I'm giving her a chance" I reply "Because I'm a _decent enough _person to believe that people can change and mature. Brianna has been totally fine with me for the most part since she got back, and I'm looking forward to seeing some old friends again"

I don't know if anyone caught on to my 'decent enough' remark, Victoria and Charlotte seemed to make eye-contact for a second but nothing came of it, but Darcy didn't seem to flinch and went back to sitting in her seat looking like someone had just slapped her with a cold wet fish. Charlie rolls his eyes at me and I have to suppress a smirk as the driver pulls up to Brianna's party venue

Chipping in my share of the cost, I take myself and Charlie away from the others pretty quickly due to my overwhelming desire not to be around them all night. Jack didn't even notice as he escorted Charlotte in and I won't pretend I didn't get a little bit of pleasure seeing Darcy and Carl look uneasy and shy

"Man, that Darcy girl really has a problem with you doesn't she?" Charlie said as he and I entered the venue "She rolled her eyes and scoffed at pretty much everything you said, after you started speaking of course. What was all that silent Elijah act about on the way in?"

"Nothing just thinking" I said, feeling a little guilty that I'd so easily forgotten Marcus before.

Brianna's venue is typical Brianna. Pink. Very pink, and loud. Very loud. _Wannabe _by The Spice Girls is playing in the background as Charlie and I make our way over to the bar to get a drink, I definitely need one after that taxi journey from hell.

"Oi Sexy, I was beginning to wonder if you were going to bother turning up" a drunk Brianna Fairclough says as she approaches me, she drapes her arms around me and then does the same to Charlie when she claps eyes on him. "It's my birthday" she announces

"Happy Birthday" Charlie and I say back before she drags us both off to the dance floor where we are forced to Cha-Cha Slide. This would be fine if it was three hours from now and I was drunk off my sodding arse, but one sip of vodka coke does not a dancer make and I felt awkward as fuck as Brianna grinded up against me and whispered "You could give me the best birthday present _ever_" in my ear as I escape and head back to the bar, where I find Jack and Charlotte

"See you've already had your dancing shoes on" Jack comments as I order myself a few shots

"Yeah, Brianna's going after me tonight I think" I commented raising my eyebrows as I downed two shots in record time. Head spinning. This is good.

"I thought you said she was better now" Charlotte comments, looking me up and down with expressions of both confusion and admiration as I down my third shot. "Left you alone and that"

"Nah" I say "She still fancies the pants off of me, she's just a lot better at not appearing like a fucking mental patient these days"

I finish my final shot and feel confident enough to head back onto the dancefloor where Brianna greats me with some old friends from school. Charlie and I were very popular during our school years, and though we haven't seen a lot of people in a while, one laugh and a joke and it's like we're all immediately back in that sixth form common room skiving. Momentarily, I catch a sight of Darcy standing against the back wall alone and looking miserable and I don't know if it's the vodka but I'm finding myself feeling quite sorry for her. I'm about to make my way over when S Club 7's _"Reach For The Stars" _begins playing and I'm dragged into yet another nostalgic dancing sequence with many of the people I'd known when this song was out

2000 really was simpler time wasn't it?

"So, Eli, how's life been treating you" Christopher Marsden asks me as he, Charlie, Liam Greene, Ben Miller and I sit down on some pink fluffy barstools and watch as Brianna, Samantha Taylor and Jenny Rowland attempt to re-create the dance to TLC's _"No Scrubs" _which is now playing. "I haven't seen you since what? Christmas 2012? That's too long man"

"I know, I'm really bad at keeping in touch" I admit "I've been cool, me and Charlie here have been at Uni together so that's been fun". I put an arm around Charlie who rests his head on my shoulders, a few of the guys around share a funny look but we're used to that. Charlie and I have always had an affectionate relationship and we've never been ones to hide it in public, it was only after Charlie came out that we started getting weird looks. Like it's my fault they're not secure enough in their sexuality to cuddle up. Hell, we all showered together, shared baths and beds on the Rugby team but as soon as one person's gay it get's weird

Other straight men disappoint me sometimes

"So, Charlie have you...ya know?" Liam asks

"Had a boyfriend yet" Charlie says. Liam nods. "Not really, I've had a few dates here and there but nothing serious. Elijah's toned down his slutiness you'll all be pleased to here, hasn't had sex yet this year"

"Alright no need to announce it" I say batting him on the arm

"Elijah Bennet nearly four months without sex" Ben Miller says sounding shocked "Never thought I'd see the day"

"It's a dry patch, I'll get over it" I say

"What about Brianna?" Liam says pointing to Brianna who is currently monitoring to me to come back and dance with her. I down another little shot. "She still seems to want you like there's no fucking tomorrow...Samantha Taylor told me that Brianna had matured, guess not"

"Oh you're just still pissed she doesn't fancy you" Charlie says and we all descend into laugher.

Jack claps me on the shoulder and I make room for he and Charlotte to sit down next to us. Jack shakes hands with the lads before introducing them to Charlotte who is very polite and charming to them all, no sign of Darcy or Carl however Alex and Victoria are currently raving it up on the dancefloor oblivious to the people surrounding them

"Oh shit mate" Charlie says suddenly, nudging me with his eyes wide open like an Eagle

Eagles are so cool.

I'm so drunk

But having a great time

I wonder what's up with Charlie?

"Oh shit" Jack says to himself looking in the same direction as Charlie.

"What's up?" Charlotte and I ask him at the same time. The other lads turn around, evidently see what Jack and Charlie have seen and turn back to face me with looks on their faces that can only vaguely be described as "oh shit son".

I look to where they're staring and then I see it.

Her.

_Jennifer._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Characters like Jennifer are very important to Elijah's back story and how he's become who he has, so she'll be featuring in the next chapter. I promise there's more Darcy/Elijah on the way - you got a little hint of it here, but it comes into play more soon and I don't want to spoil things but let's just says Mrs. B is planning a dinner party.

**Chapter Seven Review Replies:**

_Guest: _Glad you enjoyed it and thank you!

_WendyWho: _Glad I'm still making you laugh. Elijah was very embarrassed by the whole 'every girl he shagged in school' thing, and between me and you I think Brianna more than knew what she was doing. That girl wants Elijah bad.

_aishiteru naru: _Thank you for your review and I'm glad you're enjoying the story

_DizzyLizzy.60: _Elijah's a very funny boy, I think a lot of his craziness at the moment does come from hormone issues. The guy's going a bit stir crazy, 4 months without sex is a long time in Elijah-land! There will be a girl version of Wickham, but obviously not for a while yet. There will be a bit of a change in her storyline here though.

_LoveInTheBattlefield: _Thank you for your reviews, and if it's any consolation I did enjoy Sailor Moon as a kid I just don't have much of an interest for it anymore. But thank you for your continued support of this story


	9. Elijah's Heart of Gold (Part II)

Some People

Chapter Nine

Before I know what my feet are doing, I'm heading away from Jack, Charlie and the others and towards the dancefloor. It's like I saw Jennifer, registered here presence and then my brain was like "fuck this, we're out" and off I went. Dodging in between various groups of happy dancing people who _hadn't_ just had their nights ruined by seeing the person that shattered their heart into a million tiny pieces three years ago (lucky bastards), I can't seem to find Brianna anywhere. I pass Alex and Victoria both of whom seem to be dancing to _Gangnam Style _despite the fact it's not playing, I clock Darcy and Carl sitting with one another at a table, not talking to anyone else but not talking to each other either though Carl is staring at Darcy like some lovesick puppy dog. It's sickening me to be quite honest. Still no Brianna; when I don't want her in my bedroom at 1 in the morning she's there, but now when I actually need to talk to her she's nowhere to be bloody found. I look back to my former table. Jennifer has arrived and is talking to Ben, Liam and Christopher however Jack's sitting looking silent and angry whilst Charlie has also vacated the area. Charlotte looks puzzled and keeps shooting confused glances between Jack and Jennifer. Jennifer's back is facing me, obstructing her beautiful face and blue eyes from my view which is probably a good thing. Ben, Liam and Chris only seem to engaging her in conversation out of politeness, and Jack's silence and rudeness is very noticeable.

"Oh watch where you're-" starts Brianna as I walk into her mid-stressful avoiding heartbreak and heartbreaker thoughts. I need to escape. "Oh, Elijah it's you. Are you alright you look frazzled"

"Fine why wouldn't I be?" Ah, I have chosen to be falsely upbeat. There's no way that this can end badly "Come on Brianna, let's dance, you and I haven't danced with just the two of us alone yet - I need to dance, come on let's dance"

"OK" says Brianna, her face lighting up like I'd just given her the best present anybody could have. And I didn't even have to spend any money! Result! She's beaming like Oprah Winfrey just have her a car or something "OK, Eli, I want you to stay here whilst I go and tell the DJ to make the next song a slow one. Preferably a long slow one, I'll be right back. Stay there and try not to pull"

Like I'm in the mood to pull now! Harsh as it may be I am only using Brianna as a distraction, and also to possibly rub Jennifer's face in the fact that she didn't totally destroy my trust in women and render me unable to have a relationship with any of them outside of casual sex. But it's not like this is a bad thing? Right? I mean, I am using Brianna but it's making her happy too and on her birthday no less isn't it? The girl's had it bad for me since we were seven years old, and I'm finally giving her what she's wanted for all that time. Me. Really, this is a win-win situation for everybody.

Except Jennifer

_Cow._

And Darcy

Wait, what did she do?

I can't blame her for this can I?

Can I?

I can try!

_'Decent Enough' _fuck you!

"OH mate, there you are" Charlie says as he approaches me sounding breathless "I've been looking everywhere for you, I cannot believe that bitch had the nerve to show up here and then ask if she could see you"

She wants to see me!

NO ELIJAH NO!

You don't need validation from her

So what if she wants to see me?

I know I'm a hot, funny, caring, sexy 20-something and I don't need attention from her to prove that

At all

Not one bit.

"Yeah, what a...cow" I manage to reply after realizing I'd been silent for about ten seconds longer than I should have been "So, err, how is she?"

"Why do you care?" he asks almost accusingly

"I don't care!" I exclaim

I don't!

OK, I do

A bit.

Fucking hell I'm pathetic

"Good" says Charlie with an aggressive nod "So, I think the boys got rid of her so why don't you come and sit back down?"

"I, err, promised Brianna a dance" I say, I knew this was a good idea "She's gone to request that the DJ play something slower, probably means I'm gonna end up dancing to fuckin' Mariah Carey or some shit but the longer I stay away from Jennifer the better"

"Seems sensible" Charlie says looking bemused

"I wonder why Jennifer's here" I blurt out, having clocked her once again talking to Bradley Fairclough. He's a prick. Shatter his heart Jennifer! "Oh my god, you don't think me and her made a baby and now she's back because she wants child support for the baby do you? I'm not ready to be a father Charlie, I'm just not"

"I doubt she has a baby" Charlie comments "You know, especially considering that we were all at school together for a year after you broke up and she showed no signs of pregnancy or of giving birth to a child after you last had sex"

Saturday November 27th 2010

That's weird that I remember the date isn't it?

Yeah.

Three hours after that we had a row at a party and she slept with one of my best friends Tyler Hemmings - who, it seems, at least had the decency to stay away tonight, two nights later she told me and three hours after that - when I'd been persuaded to forgive her - I walked in on her trying to seduce Jack. Then she told me she'd never loved me, she'd only ever wanted to get close to Jack and that I was a pathetic little boy who would never be loved properly because I'm too immature

And yeah, Mum _still _likes her and defends her despite knowing all of that.

"OK, well, that's a relief" I say with a shrug as Brianna runs back over, gives Charlie a quick hello and then drags me off into the middle of the dancefloor where every couple seems to part like the red sea as we do.

Brianna stands me infront of her and puts my hands on her waist and holds her head to my chest as we clutch hands. The lights are shone directly above us, and now I'm aware that everybody in the room is going to be watching me slow dancing with Brianna Fairclough to some shitty Mariah Carey, Celine Dion or somewhere along those lines. It's probably going to end up on YouTube.

Although, that said Mariah Carey is pretty awesome. Always.

"Don't worry Eli" Brianna whispers "You're gonna love this song!"

I roll my eyes and get ready for what is bound to be the second most awkward dance of my life. The one with Darcy at the wedding sitting firmly at number one, and will most likely for the rest of my life.

Oh god,

I've just realized Darcy will be watching us.

Ewww.

And Jennifer.

I really hope those two don't meet and become great friends

Ha! Like Darcy could be great friends with everyone

"I'm sure I'll love the song" I tell her with a smile, it's her birthday, I don't want to hurt her feelings

The music starts playing

_"A long, long time ago I can still remember how that music used to make me smile"_

NO.

FUCKING.

WAY.

_American Pie? _Oh holy shit god damn yes!

"Like it?" Brianna asks me with a small laugh as we start to sway

"Yeah, it's my favourite song of all-time" I tell her

"I know silly, that's why I picked it" she replies

"How did you know that?" I ask her

"You told me" she says

"When?" I ask her

"OK, this is really embarrassing" she says as she brushes her hair behind her ears. She really is quite beautiful "But you told me when we were 13 and I've just never forgotten, I didn't know the song, but when you told me I was determined to impress you so I went home and found it on one of my Dad's LP's. I've loved it ever since. It reminds me of you."

I kiss her on the cheek as the song reaches the _"Well I know that you're in love with him, because I saw you dancing in the gym" _part which is my personal favourite part

And the peak of music as a whole really

Couples around us start to dance along but my eyes are firmly set on Brianna and I can't help but appreciate her. It's touching, really, just how much she likes me. That's not me being arrogant, but it's just very nice to know that someone has always been hanging off your word, has always wanted to hear what you've had to say and actually listens and remembers when you tell them things.

We sing along to the chorus, as do many people around us including Charlie who has found a partner (girl, but he can't win everytime) and Jack who has joined in with Charlotte clinging to his arm. I wink at him as the music plays and he mouths 'are you OK?' at me. I'm give him a thumbs up and return to focusing on Brianna who is swaying against my side

"You happier now?" she asks

"Happier?"

"You looked miserable before." she says "I was worried, I picked this because I knew it would cheer you up. Your false upbeatness didn't fool me."

She knows me so well and, damn it, I've never realized.

She was always that girl who creeped me out a little, and I'm not saying she still doesn't a little, but maybe I should have appreciated what I could have had with her if I'd given her a chance when we were 16? The song ends and many people fall into laughter and I give Brianna big hug and decide to stay dancing with her as the regular rotations of songs continue.

After dancing to about five consecutive upbeat '60s songs (_Build Me Up Buttercup_, _Aint No Mountain High Enough_, _I Want You Back_, _Happy Together _and _Daydream Believer_ - who knew Brianna had such good taste in music?) I'm warn out and take Brianna by the hand and leave the dance hall. We both need some fresh air, it's been getting really warm in that room for the past half an hour or so, and frankly I'm sick of Jennifer trying to make eye contact with me so make a break for it when she becomes surrounded by a few girls from our year who've evidently not seen her since school ended two years ago.

"I'm just nipping to the loo" says Brianna kissing me on the cheek "I'll see you in a few minutes, wait for me outside"

I give her a smile and head outside of the door, taking a cigarette from Max Brown as he heads back inside and light it up. I don't usually smoke, but I definitely feel like I need one tonight. After one puff I realize I'm not alone outside as I previously thought I had been

"Well, you've had an eventful night" Darcy Williams comments as she approaches me

Oh this is the last thing I need

"Yeah" I say shortly

"There's some blonde girl looking for you" she comments "Seems quite desperate too, maybe you should go in there and please her"

Her tone is mocking. Almost cruel. But there's something else in there too, I'd say jealousy but there's no way that's true

"I'm not that kinda guy" I tell her before puffing on the cigarette again, aware I'm probably coming across more bad boy now than I have ever done in my whole life. I'm channelling the spirit of James Dean and I'm proud.

"Sure you're not" says Darcy sarcastically raising her eyebrows "Don't kid a kidder Eli, I know you're that kind of guy. Those girls we were with at the Rugby club on Wednesday? Yeah, they all said that you never asked them out again once you'd shagged them. You got what you wanted and then left"

The sad thing is she's right, but I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she is.

"So, Darcy, you've never done anything you regret" I say "You never acted a fool as a teenager, never did something stupid? Hurt someone? You've lived a completely saint like life I assume?"

"You've no idea how I've lived" she barks angrily

"Snap" I tell her and we fall into silence. Great, now I feel bad. "That girl who's looking for me, I bet you think she's some desperate tramp"

"I know she is if she wants to shag you" Darcy says

"Ask Charlotte about her later" I say putting the cigarette out on the ground and tossing a few mints in my mouth "I'm not gonna tell you who she is or what she did, but I bet Jack's told Charlotte by now. So ask Charlotte later and, maybe just maybe, you'll find out you could be just a little bit wrong about me"

"I doubt it" she snarls "I mean, you're whole family are the same. I've seen your little brothers on their way to school every morning because they have to walk passed Netherfield. A different girl on their arms every day, always causing some kind of trouble, and I gather Jack's fairly popular too."

"You don't get to talk about my family like that" I snap, how dare she? Especially Kieran, that boy's the sweetest thing in the world

Jeez, where has my sudden Kieran adoration come from

N'aww Kieran

Love him _so _much

"I say as I see" she says with a shrug

"You're very cold" I tell her. She freezes up immediately.

Rather ironic.

"Well at least I don't abuse my good looks to take advantage of people" she retorts

"Wow, I wouldn't have thought I'd have been in a position to do that?" I fight back "You know, most people only consider me _decent enough _looks wise"

Ha, got you now biatch

The colour drains from Darcy's face and she flips her hair over her shoulder and walks away before bumping into an oncoming Brianna

"Oh sorry" Brianna says "Oh Darcy, it's you, are you having a good time?"

"Not especially" Darcy snarls before making her way back inside

"'s wrong with her" Brianna slurs as I give her a hand and help her up to the rather tall brick wall I've been perched on "I don't get that girl you know, she was all sunshine and smiles on Wednesday and now she's well..._rude_"

That's Darcy for ya

Sunshine and smiles though?

I know Brianna's optimistic but jeez.

"Had a good birthday" I ask as she rests her head on my shoulder

"Best ever" she says, she's clearly drunk which has only become apparent now we're in fresh air. The shock of seeing Jennifer and over half an hour of straight dancing seems to have sobered me up however. Not completely sober, just more sober than Brianna

Mixed blessing really

"Jennifer's here" I mumble

"I know, I saw her" Brianna slurs lifting her head off of my shoulder "Eli, I hope you know...I didn't invite her, she must have heard from someone else and just come along with them and...I just...I didn't invite her, I hate her for what she did to you, how anyone could ever even think to break your heart is just...it's just"

"It's alright" I assure her pulling her into a hug "It's fine, and you know what, it doesn't bother me"

"Eli" she tells me "That's bullshit and you know it, I know it, everyone knows it. That girl broke you. You were a mess after what she did, and I know you hate talking about it because you think it makes you unmanly - though I'd actually argue a man in touch with his emotions is a real man - but c'mon, don't sit here and tell me that seeing her again hasn't totally messed up your head"

Damn it, this girl knows me well.

Too well.

I shrug.

"I guess" I say "I just...you know, what are my problems compared to what other people in the world going through"

"Problems" says Brianna "And valid ones at that, just because someone somewhere has it worse, doesn't mean what happened to you isn't bad. You had your heartbroken Eli, happens to the best of us"

"Why do you get wiser when you're drunk" I ask and we both laugh

She shrugs, "I'm just wise when it comes to you I guess"

"How do you know me so well?" I ask

"I've been stalking you since I was five" she says with a laugh "Elijah, if I didn't know you inside out, then there'd be something wrong with me. I just get you, and I know it still hurts"

"More than you can imagine" I sigh. It really does. It literally felt like I'd been stabbed repeatedly at the time, and when I saw her again tonight that feeling was back and somehow even more intense

"You're such a nice guy Eli" she says looking at me with a smile. I give her a doubtful look and she hits me on the arm "Yes you are! You know, Bennet, I like pretty much everything about you but your refusal to admit you have a heart of fucking gold under all that bravado and snark pisses me off. Elijah, you're the nicest person I know. Truly. You don't even know how kind you are, but you really are, you're actually too nice for you own good. Probably why Jennifer stomped all over your heart of gold."

I don't have a heart of gold

Tin maybe

Copper possibly

Not gold.

"We need to lighten things up" I say after a few seconds "OK, let's talk about who got fat and who's gay now because we really need to get Charlie laid sometime this summer"

Brianna laughs, "Well I don't think I need to point out Jessica Mallory" she says "Did you see her? She looks like she's pregnant with a whale"

I snort. Attractive right? Luckily I'm around Brianna so it probably was.

We talk for around an hour before Brianna is beckoned back inside so everybody can sing happy birthday to her and she can be presented with a cake. She takes my hand as we walk back in and I can't help but notice a few people from school looking confused as they were used to me running in the opposite direction whenever Brianna happened to turn onto the same corridor as I did. On the way through, I make eye-contact with Darcy who scoffs and rolls her eyes. She is standing next to Jack and Charlotte, Jack has his arms around Charlotte and she is swaying happily in them whilst both Alex and Carl look unpleased. Victoria is pretty much just jumping up and down like she just saw a Unicorn, which to be fair in her head, she probably has.

Charlie, Ben, Chris and Liam are gathered at the front around the massive chocolate cake, more out of love for cake than Brianna though they were all fond of her in school though it was probably just to tease me. Samantha Taylor, Jenny Rowland, Ellie Rowling and Amy Rose are gathered on the otherside and all embrace Brianna as she arrives at the cake with me in hand. I catch a glimpse of Jennifer in the crowd before deciding to ignore her when she decides to smile at me, there were more important things than right now and I can't believe it's taken me half an hour to realize my hand has been placed in Brianna's

* * *

"C'mon, you, let's get you home" I tell Brianna at 2am, most of the guests have gone now and Brianna's in that drunken state where you just want the party to continue. Darcy and co went home over an hour ago, Jack and Charlotte are still swaying with each other surrounded by some other lingering dancers and Charlie, Ben, Liam and Chris are still drinking at the bar "In fact, you know what, let's get a cab back to my house because I'm not putting you alone in one in this state"

"Oh Eli, you just want your wicked way with me" she says putting a hand on my chest and undoing a few buttons "And it would be wicked, but like good wicked, I've talked to Samantha and Ellie about you. They told me, and this is a secret, they told me that you were very good if ya know what I mean"

Whilst it's nice to hear I was a good shag, I'm very aware I'm currently standing in a busy entrance corridor with many other people. One of whom my ex-girlfriend who shattered my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Nope, no Brianna, nothing like that" I say, getting sick of propping her up so I sit us down on the floor. He head falls onto my shoulder as I cover up my exposed chest "Not in this state anyway, it would be taking advantage"

"But I want you toooooooo" she whines

"No you don't love" I tell her "Trust me. We'll get home, I'll make you a nice cuppa and then you can go to sleep on my bed"

"A-ha, I knew you wanted me in your bed" she says

"Yes, I want you to sleep in my bed" I whisper to her "But I'm gonna sleep on the sofa instead"

"Poopy pants" she calls me as the taxi I'd ordered finally turns up. Half an hour wait for a Taxi at 2am? I know it's a Saturday - technically now Sunday - but come on lads, get your shit together.

I struggle to prop Brianna up, mainly because I'm drunk too, and as I struggle to get her to the taxi I suddenly find the load to be a lot lighter. I thank the person but don't look at them until we reach the taxi, and it's only then I notice that the person who has helped us was Jennifer

"Thanks" I say looking at the ground as Brianna begins telling the poor driver it's her birthday and all about her party

"You're welcome" she says, still sounding as deceptively sweet as ever "I've been trying to talk to you all night"

"So I hear" I reply

"How're you?" she asks

"None of your business" I snap before getting in the taxi, giving the driver my address and getting him to drive off as quickly as possible. I look back to see Jennifer standing there looking hurt and confused, like I was the one who had somehow wronged her in all of this. I felt bad for being rude but really what did she expect? That I'd just sit down for a gossip and a catch up and pretend like what she hadn't done wasn't horrible. Because Brianna's right, what Jennifer did destroyed me for a good few months and it took me about a year before I could even talk about her without it ending up in me crying or breaking something from anger. Of course, she'd missed all of that because she just went on like nothing had ever happened, dated other guys, hung out with her friends and only acknowledged me once afterwards - on the very last day when she'd smiled and wished me good luck because we both assumed we'd never see one another again. We had no reason too, we were strangers by then so I don't see why now, 3 years down the line, she'd suddenly decided she wanted to speak to me. The time to make amends was then, not now, too much time has passed, we're different people leading different lives now and I've been fine without her.

"Proud of you" a sleepy Brianna mumbles into my shoulder as she falls asleep. The rest of the drive is in silence, the driver having witnessed by exchange with Jennifer probably realizing I'm not really in a mood to speak, and in appreciation I'm generous with my tip when he drops us off. I scoop Brianna up in my arms and carry her into my bedroom which is empty as Jack is probably off shagging Charlotte at Netherfield, so once Brianna's settled and I can't be bothered moving I undress and decide to sleep in Jack's bed as he won't be back tonight; and if he is, he can sleep on the bloody sofa because it's 3am now and he can't be waking people up. Walking to my bathroom in my underwear, I have the momentary urge to go into Marcus's bedroom and check on him but the I remember it's 3am, I'm not in the best of states and if I woke him up then he'd just start revising and he's done way too much of that. I pass my parents bedroom and can hear them both snoring, Dad's probably awake and I desperately want to talk to him about Jennifer but I know it's not worth his time and I'm just being stupid. I shouldn't be letting her bother me this much. Once I get back from the bathroom, I pull out Brianna's phone and text her aunt to let her know where she is but in tipsy tiredness I accidentally click on a thread of conversation between Brianna and Samantha Taylor

_'Do you think he'll ever love me?'_

_'One day babe. I'm sure.'_

_'I think he just sees me as a friend. Or worse a sister'_

_'No he doesn't. He's Elijah Bennet, he doesn't do friendships with girls. He can't. There's always got to be more'_

Samantha's text is right. I've never been able to be just friends with a girl now I think about it, any girl I've had a friendship with I've either ended up fancying, they've ended up fancying me, we've kissed and in some occasions slept with one another. Sam, Ellie, Amy, Jenny even Jennifer all started off as being my friend but then chemistry occurred and things got more serious; hell even Brianna doesn't count because I've kissed her more than once and though we never had sex we did other things that rule out us ever being 'just friends'. I'd like a friendship with a girl, just a purely platonic friendship with a girl who I could go to for advice on women, sex tips and general banter without it becoming awkward

I need to befriend a lesbian

I lay awake for several hours thinking through the events of the night, and occasionally I look over to Brianna and smile because I've seen her in a new light tonight. She's actually a very sweet, kind and caring person and the fact she just knows me so well and cares about me so much makes me like her a lot. It never clicked with me in school, maybe I was too focused on my reputation and popularity back then, but it clicked with me tonight. I've always known she loves me, she's told me enough times, but I don't think I ever really believed her until tonight - she was just some girl with a stupid crush on me confusing sexual attraction with love but now...now, I get it and I feel like shit because I know that no matter how hard I try I'll never be able to love her. Yet, I still seem to love Jennifer and she treated me like shit, swallowed me up and spat me back out so why can't I love Brianna? Who cares about me, who knows me, who listens to what I have to say. Love is stupid and fucks you up.

I'm going to become a monk

A monk who gives up feelings and emotions.

Not sex.

That's just stupid

Like God cares. Well, he probably does but I've never really seen why. So someone had sex before they were married? Why does that make them a sinner?

Eugh, it's 3.30am

If you're debating philosophical matters with yourself at 3.30am than that means one and one thing only

You're trying to escape from nasty and unpleasant thoughts

_Jennifer_.

Nope

No

Not going there again

Mulled over that long enough, and now I really never have to see her again.

Ever.

Think of something else

Think of something else.

_Darcy_

What the hell was her problem tonight?

What the hell is her problem in general to be fair? But tonight? Tonight was especially rude and twat-ish

And after I'd been so polite to her as well

Hell, I even asked her to dance because she looked lonely

Maybe Brianna's right. Maybe I am too nice for my own good?

No way.

I'm a shit.

If Brianna thinks I'm one of the nicest people she's ever met then she must have been spending time with Hitler and Voldermort in Spain.

That's a funny image

I need to go to sleep

I'm tired

And drunk

Fucking Jennifer

Fucking Darcy.

Fucking life.

* * *

**Author's Note: **OK, so from the point of view of developing Elijah and learning more about him and how he is, what people around him think of him this was my favourite chapter to right. It's probably the least funny though, though I do try and make up for that at the end and there are some good line scattered about. Jennifer's not just going to be some clichéd one dimensional girl who broke the hero's heart, we're going to be seeing more from her and hear her side of the story.

Also, hope you all enjoyed the Darcy scene. I wanted to get one in there, and I also had been struggling to think why Modern Day girl Darcy would dislike Modern Day boy Elijah at the start, and that's what I came up with. Darcy thinks he and his brothers are flirts, typical 'boys' and troublemakers. There scenes were fun to write and there are more on the way!

I hope you all like Brianna by the way. She and Elijah won't be getting in a relationship, but she's very important to him, his recovery from Jennifer and will become a genuine friend to him - but she's always going to have those feelings, she's loved him since she was a little girl but he'll be trying to help her move on from him

**Chapter Eight Review Replies:**

**Guest: **Thank you! Glad you're noticing the character developments!

**DizzyLizzy.60: **As Brianna says in this chapter, underneath all of Elijah's bravado, snark and arrogance there lies a heart of gold which will be shining through a lot. Darcy's point of view is something I'm very much considering at this point. Jennifer will be featured more in an upcoming chapter, so you'll have to wait and see to find out of if she's truly repentant

**aishiteru naru: **Thank you!

**Irish Jessy: **I'm glad you're finding it funny! I think Elijah's smidge on compassion for Darcy at the moment is merely just compassion, because he's a nice guy and he feels bad for people when he can see they're unhappy. I don't think the idea of seeing Darcy that way is anywhere near Elijah's head at this point in time - he think she's pretty but ultimately repelled by her personality. I think she sees him quite differently though, or will start to do very soon...

**LoveInTheBattlefield: **Thank you for your review, hope you carry on reading and enjoying the story!


	10. Brotherhood

Chapter Ten

Some People

Eugh, _how _am I hung-over right now? OK, I'll admit, that I went in pretty heavy on the drinking front at the start of the night but I don't think I ended up too drunk did I? What with dancing to what seemed like the soundtrack to my entire childhood, eating a lot of mini-sausage rolls, getting "fresh" air and freaking out because my ex who shattered my fragile sixteen year old heart into a million tiny pieces suddenly walked back into my life like nothing had happened it really doesn't seem like I had that much time to get drunk, yet here I am feeling nauseous with head pains, a dry thought and massive craving for a McDonalds breakfast that in itself is hypocritical because the mere thought of it is making me feel even more ill.

Ugh, it's like I'm pregnant

Still, at least I'm not as bad as Brianna who not five minutes ago woke up, freaked out because she wasn't in her own bed, looked at me and then ran into the bathroom where she has continued to hurl up for Great Britain for the past three hundred seconds. If she hadn't spent most of our lives stalking me then I would have been fairly paranoid that the sight of me with very few clothes on had made her ill but I knew the contrary. The sight of my naked body is the last thing that would ever make Brianna Fairclough vomit...with disgust at least, I can't account for vomiting from excitement. Yeah, that's something Brianna does when she gets overexcited. Some kids (me) get hyperactive, some kids (Charlie) pee themselves and then there's Brianna who once spent an entire school trip to Flamingo Land in the toilet with Mrs. Weston because she got away too over excited. We were five to be fair, but still, that's some funny shit. Still, I'm pretty sure her reasons now is because she was rivalling Boris Yeltsin in the drinking stakes last night. Still, it was her 20th birthday party and those are big deals - you should have seen the state of me on mine; I'm having to give Aiden £10 a week not to post those pictures of me tried naked to a lamppost on Facebook.

"Hey there" I say nicely to Brianna as she re-enters my bedroom a few minutes later. She groans and lies face down on my bed; I cringe a little hoping she doesn't mess up my sheets "How's the birthday girl?"

"Elijah, promise me something" she says, it's quite mumbled as she currently seems intent on smothering herself with one of my pillows "Promise me a few things actually - 1; promise me that I didn't embarrass myself"

You literally just spent five minutes vomiting in the bathroom of the boy you stalked for thirteen years

"Promise" I say. Because I'm nice. Or at least Brianna seems to think I am judging by last night.

"Cool" she says giving me a thumbs up "Number two, I want you to promise me that you'll never let me get that drunk in your company ever again"

"Promise" I say with a smile, meaning it. I'm not good at looking after drunk people. I once made Charlie cry for three hours when he was drunk because he asked me to tell him a story and I recapped _The Lion King_. "What's the last one?"

Brianna looks up from the pillow squinting

"I can't believe I'm about to say this" she says "But Elijah, promise me that last night you and I did not engage in sexual intercourse. Because despite the fact I'm in love with you and I want to jump your bones whenever I see you, I've never been the kind of girl to fuck people when she's that drunk."

"We did not have sex" I confirm. Nearly _five friggin months _since I've had sex. My virginity is growing back, I can feel it

"Good" she says eyeing me up and down and I pull the covers over my exposed areas, she smiles to herself and looks down at her clothes "Eurgh, I need to get changed. These clothes stink. Could you maybe step outside whilst I get changed?"

Oh, so she can perve on my naked body but I can't be in the same room as her when she changes?

"But I'm only in my boxers" I exclaim

"So?" she says raising her eyebrows "Elijah, the rest of this house is only filled with your family members and I assume they've all seen you naked before. Or are you telling me you were born with little shorts on?"

"Fine, fine" I exclaim getting out of Jack's bed "I will wait outside until you get changed, but you better be quick because I don't want my body giving my brothers self confidence issues"

Brianna smirks and I cringe for sounding like such a conceited dickhead infront of her, climb off of Jack's bed and wait just outside my bedroom door. It's clearly around midday, I know because I can hear Marcus scribbling away notes in his bedroom and the two young'uns are downstairs watching television. I rest my head against the wall and think back to last night; Jennifer. Why is she back? Why now? and why does she want to talk to me? OK, so she might not have a secret love child that she wants me to help raise but why come back into my life after nearly two years since we saw each other and over three since we last properly spoke?

"Elijah, we are not a nudist colony" mother tells me as she walks up the stairs and spots me standing outside my room practically starker's "Why on Earth are you dressed like that out here?"

"Because someone's getting dressed in there" I tell her

"Who?" Mum snaps "Jack's downstairs and even if he wasn't he'd hardly likely throw you out whilst he got changed"

"True" I tell her with a nod "Well, mother, if you must know I have one of my old classmates from school in there. A female student. One you liked very much, and we talked for ages last night and we're going to go down to the registry office this afternoon and be wed. Oh, it will be such a joyous occasion

Mum looks confused

"You're pulling my leg aren't you" she says squinting her eyes

I wink at her

"You really are the limit Elijah Bennet" she says with a sigh before pushing past me and heading into her own bedroom. I re-enter mine once Brianna has given the all clear and debate whether to get dressed and go downstairs or go back to bed, and it honestly takes me a minute to gather that Brianna is wearing one of my hoodies and a pair of my old jeans

"I was lucky you still had all this old stuff" she says as she looks at herself in the mirror, she looks quite cute I'm not gonna lie "I'll give it back to you of course, probably sometimes this week, though you should really think about doing out your wardrobe Elijah; there's far too much stuff in here that's far too small for you now I'd imagine"

"You're right" I say sitting down next to her on the bed and reaching into the wardrobe to find some clothes "I'm a bit of clutter-bug I guess, so what do you think I should get rid of?"

"Well, this long black thing for a start" Brianna says pulling out the long black thing

"NOT MY HARRY POTTER CLOAK" I exclaim snatching it from her

She stares at me

Fuck.

I put a hand nervously through my hair

It's weird. For once Brianna's coming across as the most sane and least weird

"Harry Potter cloak?" she says with a laugh "My gosh Elijah, you are twenty years old, why do you still have this? I remember you wearing that to Samantha Taylor's tenth birthday costume party"

"Your Mum said I was the most handsome little wizard there ever was" I say with a smile, Brianna giggles

"She was right" she says nudging me "I know people used to make fun of you for the Harry Potter obsession, but I always thought it was cute - probably because I found everything about you cute - though I do have to say I would've thought you'd have gotten rid of this by now"

"I haven't worn it in like nine years" I tell her "I just keep it for the nostalgia, and I let Kieran borrow it for a Halloween costume a few years ago too. Guess I just don't have the heart to get rid of it"

She smiles, kisses me on the cheek and leaves my room telling me she'll see my downstairs after I get dressed. Once she's gone, I check my phone and see that Jennifer Morris has sent me friend request on Facebook and is now also following me on Twitter and Instagram. Damn the mutual friends list! I leave the requests pending, I need to run this by Charlie before I do anything irrational or otherwise. I pick out some lazy athletic clothing, a plain blue t-shirt and some tracksuit bottoms, and head downstairs where I find Brianna perched on the edge of our settee watching Kieran attempting to kill any prostitute he can find on _Grand Theft Auto_. She smiles at me as I head into the kitchen where Mum is cluttering around being generally noisy

"What up Ma?" I ask her as she glares at me as I enter the kitchen

Mum closes the door.

"You did not tell me that the girl you brought home last night was _Brianna Fairclough" _she snarls "I mean of all the girls Elijah, her? Don't you remember how...embarrassing she was around you for all those years, you hated her!"

"I never hated her" I say firmly. I never hated Brianna. Not for a second. Creeped out and a little scared of her? Yes. But never hate.

"Regardless" Mum says "I still don't understand why you're knocking around with her now? I mean, from what I can see, she's still as obnoxious, annoying and darn right unhinged as she was three years ago. I mean, of all the girls to chose to be your girlfriend..."

"Girlfriend?" I splutter "Girlfriend? No. Mum, Brianna is not, never has been and never will be my girlfriend! Look, we're just becoming friends and last night she was in a state and I didn't want to just send her off in a taxi home on her own so I brought her back here with me so I knew she'd be alright. I have no desire to start going out with her, she's just a friend"

"Well then" says Mum "As long as that's all she is, tell Brianna that she's very welcome to stay for Lunch and then you can drive her home. Oh, and let her keep that hoodie Elijah, it's ghastly and now would be a good opportunity to get rid of it"

The hoodie is a My Chemical Romance one. Yeah, I went through a stage. Mum never liked them; mainly because she saw the video to _Black Parade _and convinced herself that Gerard Way is a vampire. Vampires are my Mum's worst nightmare. It was worth watching those _Twilight _films to see her freak out everytime a vampire character came on screen though.

I roll my eyes and head back into the living room where I rest my head on Kieran's shoulders as Brianna tries to navigate the streets of Los Angeles on the game. She's not doing any mission or even needlessly killing prostitutes, she's just driving about in her car like it's a nice sunny normal day and nearly cries when she accidentally runs over a random guy on the street.

"Jack told me about Jennifer" Kieran mutters, I frown a little. "Are you alright?"

"Fine mate" I say sitting up and moving away from him a little. As much as I love Kieran, this isn't a conversation I particularly want to have with him "I just ignored her, and now I can go about my life never having to see her again"

"She best hope anyway" mutters Brianna who'd killed several pedestrians since Kieran brought up Jennifer "I'll punch her in the tit if I see her again. How dare she just turn up to my party uninvited? And in that _hideous _dress"

Kieran smirks, "You seem a lot more stable than you used to" he tells her. Although that's questionable as she's now killing anyone on GTA that just happens to be in her way. She sticks her tongue out at him but smiles and looks at me as Mum comes into the living room and provides us both with bacon sandwiches. One good thing about Mum; she never stops cooking so there's always food on the go and always a bacon sandwich on offer to whomever has a hangover.

"OH GOD DAMN IT, THE POLICE ARE AFTER ME" Brianna shrieks neglecting her bacon sandwich once Mum has left. As Brianna deals with her situation in the game, Jack walks into the room and it occurs to me this is the first time I've seen him since last night when I left he and Charlotte slow dancing intimately and he didn't sleep in his own bed last night either

"Get lucky mate" I ask him as he sits down in between Kieran and myself

"Nah" he says tossing an arm around my shoulder "I took Charlotte home and then just walked back here, but you were in my bed so I just slept down here"

"So...any developments between you and Charlotte?" I ask, to tell you the truth I am a little relieved. As nice of a girl as I think Charlotte is I've been quite weary of their blossoming relationship; mainly because Mum orchestrated it, partly because if they went out it would mean I'd have had to put up with Darcy a hell of a lot more but most all because I couldn't help but think Jack was Charlotte's idea of 'slumming it'. She'd gone to one of the best, most expensive and grand schools in the country where no doubt her pick of boys would've been 100% extremely rich guys of a higher social class than us Bennets. Yes, it's not exactly the 1800's anymore and we're not living in _Sense & Sensibility _but let's not pretend for a second that classism doesn't still exist and though I don't doubt that Charlotte genuinely likes Jack (because how couldn't you?) there was that little part of me that knew they were so totally different that there'd be some eyebrows raised if they were together and Jack would only end up getting hurt again because honestly, I don't think Charlotte is strong willed enough not to take immediate orders from someone directed towards her.

"Not really" Jack sighs "I mean, we're seeing each other again for a drink in two days but I'm quite happy to take this slowly. I'm not expecting miracles or anything like that, if something happens then something happens if not then it doesn't."

"That's a good attitude" I tell him.

"Yeah, and on that not I have to go." Kieran says getting up "Rugby practice and all that...Mason Kennedy best not try and captain again or I'm gonna give him a straight kick in the nuts"

"Good luck mate" I tell him with a laugh

"Bye Kieran" Brianna says brightly

This seems to flaw Kieran who says "Bye...Brianna?" very slowly as he leaves the room and leaves me and Jack in laughter.

A few minutes later, and a few more pedestrians dead, Brianna decides it's time for her to go as well though does ask if she can comeback soon to play GTA again as she found it weirdly addicting

"I'll drive you back" I offer approaching her with my car keys

"Oh not Eli, it's fine" she tells me "It's only a mile and a half till my aunts, and with my head today I think I could do with the fresh air, and besides you're probably sick of the sight of me by now". She laughs nervously at the end.

"No I'm not" I say "But if you wanna walk that's fine, I didn't feel much like driving anyway. My visions still a bit blurry, I didn't realize I was that drunk last night to tell you the truth"

"That's because you were too busy being very kind and looking after me" she says taking my hand "I just wanna thank you Elijah, you made last night so brilliant for me and I'm just sorry it brought back some painful memories for you"

"Not your fault" I tell her, my heart dropping a little. "Besides, I ended up having a good time with you anyway"

"Well, I'll see you soon Eli" she says kissing me on the cheek. I've literally just remembered that Jack is behind us taking all of this in "You're a very good person, I hope you know that, and you deserve someone the treats you right even if that person is never gonna be me."

"You're talking to me like I'm never gonna see you again" I tell her with a nervous laugh which makes her smile "Look, you know that I'll...you know...never, feel the same but I think we could be really good friends you know?"

"I know" she says before leaving the living room, saying goodbye to Mum and heading out of the house. My chest feels a little heavy, I honestly feel like such a dick right now, that girl loves me and all I can see her as is a friend. I've never felt unrequited love but if cheesy romantic comedies from the 1990's have taught me anything it's that it fucking sucks and that Hugh Grant is kind of a dick.

"It doesn't make you a bad person you know" Jack tells me as I sit back down. Damn boy can read me like a book

"Still feel like one though" I say putting my head in my hands "It's hurting her Jack, I never really thought of Brianna as having feelings before"

"Elijah, if there's one thing I've learned it's that you can't force yourself to love somebody" Jack continues "You could fool yourself into loving Brianna, but it would only end up hurting you both in the long run"

"I know" I mutter. Jack pulls me into a hug.

"I saw what seeing Jennifer last night did to you" he tells me "But Elijah, you really need to realize that you're not all those things she said you were. You're one of the nicest people I know and the fact you actually give a damn about Brianna's feelings puts you above a hell of a lot of other guys"

"Why was she there Jack?" I ask "It's like, I know I talked a good game for a few years, but really it's only been the last six months or so where I felt totally over her, completely moved on you know? Then she just come swanning back in like nothing's happened and sets me back three years"

"I don't know mate, I don't know" he tells me "But there's one way to find out, and that's ask her"

I'm not doing that

_No way._

* * *

"So, I think that we should see _Dawn Of The Planet of the Apes_" I say to Kieran, Marcus and Aiden as we stand outside of the local cinema. It's been a few weeks, Kieran and Marcus are both done with their exams and as a treat I've decided to take my little brothers to the cinema and out for a meal afterwards. Jack was meant to be coming with us but his boss made him stay late at work so he's only meeting us for the meal, which unfortunately puts me in charge of live wire Aiden who only ever listens to Jack or Dad when being disciplined. "It looks really good"

"You're just trying to geek out" Aiden mutters

"Hey, there are apes riding on horses carrying weapons" I snap "How is that not the coolest thing ever to you?"

"Err, cos it's stupid" Aiden retorts. Ah, the comeback of a fifteen year old. I remember when I was 15, it was a different time; no Twitter yet, Lady Gaga was still considered exciting and new and I spent most of the time making puns about Charlie's secret sexuality with him and seeing if anybody would guess. I don't remember being as angry as Aiden seems to be.

"I think it looks good" pipes up Kieran

"Oh you would say that" says Aiden "You just wanna kiss Elijah's arse"

"No, I don't" Kieran snaps back

Marcus stays silent and merely rolls his eyes. Aiden, Kieran and I practically had to drag him into the car; even though he has no exams left to revise for.

"Yeah, you do he's your 'hero'" Aiden snarls

Kieran turns red and looks at the ground

Well, this is awkward

But I'm Kieran's hero? Yay!

I want to cast an arm around the very embarrassed Kieran who's now looking at me like I'm going to hit him

"Aiden, shut up" I tell him and to my surprise Aiden actually keeps quiet as we queue up for the film tickets. He's probably planning to kill me, but at least I don't have to listen to his squeaky-almost-broken-but-not-quite-yet voice for a few minutes and I give him the smallest portion of Popcorn. Kieran gets the biggest and I wink at him, he laughs whilst Marcus just looks like the whole thing is beneath him and he has much better things to do and places to be

Which is very untrue

The film is very good though I'm on edge throughout as I end up sitting in between Kieran and Aiden and, convinced as I am that Aiden's trying to kill me, I end up watching him more than the film. He just sits there with a satisfied smirk on his face though I do manage to get one over on him when some of his friends entered the cinema and I proceeded to embarrass him by becoming a suddenly very affectionate big brother who wanted to hug him lots and tell stories about when he was a child and wore the same Spider-Man suit for two weeks after Halloween when he was three. I've probably only made things worse for myself now as Aiden's vendetta will have only increased and now the Russian mafia is probably spying on me and debating when to take me down.

OK, I don't have any proof Aiden's involved with the mafia. It's just a general feeling I get.

After shooing away Aiden's chavvy mates once the film had ended the boys and I head over to the restaurant where Jack is already waiting for us with a big grin plastered all over his annoyingly perfect face when he comes into view.

"Evening boys" he says as we approach him

"What're you looking so happy about?" I ask him "Did Oasis reform whilst I was in the damn cinema?!"

"No, I wish" Jack says with a laugh "No, it's nothing in particular, I've just had a good day is all"

"But you were working" Kieran says completely seriously looking very confused. No surprise really, the kids never done a day of work in his life. He doesn't have too. I'd really quite like to be Kieran or Aiden, they have near perfect lives as far as I'm concerned. "How could you have had fun?"

"I'm not saying I had fun Kieran" Jack says as we enter the restaurant "I just...had some good news"

"Oasis reformed" I say again

"No Elijah"

Damn it! Blur are still together why are Oasis the ones who have to broken up?

"Well, what good news did you get then?" I ask him

"I'll save it for later" Jack says suddenly blushing a little and fake coughing as the waitress eyes him up as she shows us to our table. That always happens to Jack, and sometimes me, but very rarely me whenever Jack's around.

Hang on

Jack got good news

He blushed

Then tried to change the topic of conversation

That can only mean one thing

_Charlotte._

Bollocks.

I sit back in silence and just chip in occasionally as my brothers tell Jack about their days and the film and he listens with what seems to be interest, though that could just be him being nice. My younger brothers stories are often incredibly mundane and boring to me, mainly because I was by far the most rebellious of all of us as a teenager so any mischief Kieran or Aiden get up too (I'm not even including Marcus, that'd mean he'd have to leave his room) is stuff I likely already did and did better. The only thing that differs is that they're both stupid enough to let themselves get caught everytime. Like, last summer, Aiden was brought home by the police because he was caught trespassing in Netherfield mansion before it had been sold at which point it had been vacant and pretty much abandoned for nearly a decade. Had it not been for a few dedicated gardeners the place would likely have been a ruin, however regardless of their efforts, for years it had been a place where teenagers would go explore in the dead of night, as Aiden and his mates did last year

I don't know if kids are just becoming stupider these days, I'd like to say if that's true then I blame Twitter, but Charlie, a few mates and myself broke into Netherfield when we were fourteen as well and never got caught. Hell, we had a small party and broke a window and nobody ever suspected a thing and we all would've managed to run away from the police if they had been called - there's a massive fuck off garden behind the house, it's not exactly difficult to find a hiding place. But not for Aiden. They all heard the police coming and just stayed in the room they were in - which was the room closest to the front door by the way. Idiots.

So yeah, there's nothing my little brothers can say they've done that I already haven't and done better.

Nothing.

"Aiden had sex behind a skip" Kieran announces, probably a little too loudly though it does prick me up my attention (no pun intended)

"I did _not_" Aiden says in a whisper actually sounding mortified. Jack catches my eye and we both have to pretend not to laugh, Marcus just looks like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world but here.

"Yes, you did" Kieran says "Amy Garside said you had sex with her and told Bethany Pearson who told Ryan Jackson who told me, and I believe them"

"Hang on" I say suddenly "So, you're getting this information fourth hand Kieran?"

Kieran nods with a smile on his face. Sweet, sweet, moronic Kieran

"Then it probably isn't true mate" I say clapping a hand on my little brothers shoulder, mainly so Aiden could maybe call of the mafia hit if I believe his story "Now, as with everything there's no smoke without fire...Aiden, what really happened?"

"We slept together at a party but we were indoors" he mumbles "But seriously, none of you can tell Mum, she'd freak if she found out I'd done it. Then all her sons would be heathens who had sex before marriage."

Huh

Aiden seems to hold some similar views on my mother as I do

Maybe I could grow to like this kid

Marcus shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Of course, we all know that Marcus has probably never even kissed a girl and yeah, we do tease him about it sometimes but whenever anyone accuses him or makes fun of him for it we all come up with stories where we've seen Marcus with a girl. It's what brothers do. We can say as much shit as we want to each other, insult each other to the high heavens but when any outside party (except Charlie, who is practically one of us) does it...my god, if you want to see hell unleashed just wait until that moment

Speaking of which...

Jennifer and her family just entered the restaurant

Great

I sink into myself a little and pray that she doesn't see me and none of my brothers see her.

She waves at me and smiles

I end up making eye contact with her and kind of twitching my mouth a little

My brothers look around confused and spot her

"WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE" Kieran declares

"Seriously, Eli, why did you smile at her?" exclaims Aiden

"She's got some nerve" Marcus pipes up. Yeah, even Marcus hates her.

Jennifer, her sister Aggie and her parents go and sit down on a far away table, I feel like I should go over and say hello as Jennifer's parents and her sister were always very nice to me when I was round at their house and I haven't spoken to them since we broke up nearly four years ago.

It's the polite thing to do right?

It doesn't mean I forgive Jennifer or anything, just that I'm showing politeness to her family who did nothing wrong

It's polite

It's etiquette

It's all the things I'm not

"D'you think I should go over and say hello" I ask my brothers

"No" is the simultaneous reply I receive from my three younger brothers. Jack however remains silent and takes a sip of his drink

"Up to you mate" Jack says "There are blokes who wouldn't"

Yeah, and I'm not gonna be one of them.

If there's one thing Mum taught me that was actually half-way decent parenting and I actually internalised, it was that politeness was key if I bump into friends of the family or people I respected

And I do respect the Morris'

Just not their slaggy slept with one of my best friend and tried to seduce my older brother youngest daughter

The walk over to their table is obviously not a great distance at all but on the way over it feels like I'm walking the Green Mile.

Good film that

Like the mouse subplot

"Ermm" I say nervously as I finally reach the table

Mr & Mrs. Morris look up and their faces kind of light up as I come into their view. Aggie smiles at me, and Jennifer looks shell shocked and awkward

"Oh Elijah, how are you" Mrs. Morris says as she stands and embraces me in a hug followed by a kiss on the cheek "My, my, my how you've grown. You were always a handsome teenager, but what a man you've become"

"Good to see you again old boy" Mr Morris says vigorously shaking my hand. He's not saying 'old boy' ironically by the way, this is genuinely how he talks. He's a nice bloke though. "How's life been treating you?"

We engage in surprisingly unawkward small talk for a few minutes, I tell them about Uni, Charlie, my parents and ultimately point out my brothers to them. Aiden flags them off when they look over and I immediately splutter an apology out but with one look at Jennifer they seem to understand and after saying a quick goodbye to Aggie, meanwhile ignoring Jennifer, I head back to my table

"You look defeated" Marcus notes as I sit back down

"That was hard" I say leaning my head on Kieran's shoulder

"Yeah, but you did it and that's the most important thing" Jack says looking proud of me, which is rare, but nice.

"I still think you should've thrown a drink in her face" mutters Aiden

"Awwww little bro, didn't know you cared" I tell him with a laugh

"You're my brother" he says with a shrug "We're the only ones who are allowed to fuck your life up because we've been forced to live with you, no one else get's that right"

Ah, that Aiden. Maybe there is a soul down there somewhere

"This is why you're my hero" Kieran mutters so just he and myself can hear it "Things like that"

"Thanks kid" I say

We leave about an hour later, Aiden and Kieran both slightly loud as Jack and I bought them a proper drink on the sly, and I wave goodbye to the Morris family as we leave the restaurant.

"Big of you that" Jack says as we head to the car

"Yeah, maybe" I sigh

"Hey, I wouldn't have been able to do it" he says "You're strong Elijah"

We smirk

"Hey, so, what was your good news?" I ask him

"Oh that" he says with a grin "Nothing much. Charlotte just asked us round for dinner one night this week"

"Oh cool. Have a good time" I tell him

Wait

_Us_

Jack's smiling nervously

"Jack, you said us"

"I did"

"What did you mean by that?"

"Me...and, you"

"FUCK"

"Elijah don't swear. We're in a car park."

"I have to go?"

"Yes...please, you always make these situations less awkward"

"Will Darcy be _there_?"

"Darcy lives _there_"

"Christ."

He's still grinning nervously. I can always tell when Jack's lying and keeping something secret, and my god, he's keeping quiet about something right now

"Jack? There's more isn't there?"

"Sorta"

"_Sorta_"

"Well, funny story, when I say 'us' I don't just mean you and I"

"Who d'you mean Jack?"

"Marcus, Kieran and Aiden"

"_What?!_"

"...And Mum and Dad"

"FUCK"

* * *

**Author's Note: **Yeah, no Darcy or crew in this chapter but I really wanted to address some Brianna things as well as showing the Bennet boys just having fun and a good time with one another because we haven't really had that yet. But, things are advancing. The dinner at Netherfield awaits; can Elijah and Darcy be civil to one another? Will there be a snark fight? Or much worse...a food fight? I'm kidding. Maybe. Aiden's fairly unpredictable so you never know.

Review Replies:

**Ana: **Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it

**DizzyLizzy.60: **Jen does live near the Bennet's but she's been avoiding Elijah over the past two/three years. What she did to him was awful, we'll be meeting the best friend in question soon too, but yes - Jen really does what to make amends with Elijah. As for Darcy POV, I'm actually toying around with doing a side story for her as I really want 'Some People' to just be Elijah's journey all the way through

**LoveInTheBattlefield: **Again with the Sailor Moon thing? Lol. Not gonna happen sorry but thank you for reading and reviewing every chapter so far

**wendywho: **I'm glad you like Brianna, I think she's very likeable but she's hung up on Elijah and needs to move on from him. Try as he might, he'll never feel that way about her.


	11. Darcy's Little Plan

Some People

Chapter Eleven

"This is going to be horrible! I-I literally don't think I can do this I mean, a dinner at Netherfield, with my family and the posh pricks who I don't like that much. I mean, an evening in the same room as Darcy, Carl, my mother and whatever psychotic mood Aiden decides to adopt that day. My only ally, Jack, will no doubt be draped all over Charlotte all night because he's all goo-goo-gaga-gaga for her; Dad will no doubt insult everyone, though if a few happen to go in Darcy's direction I can't imagine I'll be protesting too much, Marcus will read, Kieran will be sweet but dumb and say something idiotic, Mum's not even worth going into, Aiden's probably rigged the place with some kind of illegal explosive and Darcy's going to be looking at me like I just took a big giant crap on her life. Why did Jack have to like Charlotte? Why couldn't he have just humoured the girl Mum pushed him too like he does everytime and then very subtly get rid of her afterwards like normal? But heaven's _nooooo_ he has to fall for the obscenely rich girl with the probably afffluenza-inflicted brothers, the future sister-in-law who thinks the square root of four is puppies and the semi-sociopathic best friend who seems to have it out for me for some reason. Then again I suppose Sociopath's very seldom have reason. So, not _if_ but _when_ I turn up dead, direct the police to Darcy's house because she probably did it and then got Carl to dig my shallow, shallow grave." Yeah, I say that all in one breath. I'm very stressed.

"I love it when you over exaggerate" Charlie tells me as he and I sit in my living room eating shit food and watching shit television. It's Friday afternoon, and approximately twenty-seven hours until the dinner party from hell and I honestly think I might be developing PTSD before the traumatic event has even begun. "Look, Eli, surely it's not going to be as bad as you're making it out to be?"

"Oh isn't it? _Isn't it_? Just imagine Charlie. My family. The cast of 'Made in Chelsea does York'. Sitting down together, for a meal, having to make small talk whilst the two mutual's who are the sole reason we are there slobber all over one another" I say, apparently breathing in between sentences "I mean, what the hell am I going to talk to the rest of them about?"

"Politics?"

"They're at best Conservative and at worst UKIP"

"Religion?"

"Victoria has apparently invented her own. I'm not going there."

"Current Events"

"Oh, how we're all going to be drafted into a war with Russia soon?"

"For the last time, you're not going to get drafted Elijah"

God, I hope not. The country would fall in _seconds _if I had to go out there and fight a war. Can't do it. Won't do it. Am willing to wear a dress and change my name to Eliza in order to get out of it. Not an option.

"Maybe you could talk about events in pop culture?" Charlie suggests "I'm sure Victoria knows lots about that?"

"Probably" I say taking a breath "OK, maybe...yeah, maybe that'll work... wait, no, Aiden smashes a glass if he so much as hears Justin Bieber's name and I can't mention Mila Kunis because Kieran gets jealous and pissy that she's with Ashton Ketchup"

"Kutcher"

"Like I give a fuck"

I groan and sit down next to Charlie and rest my head on his shoulder, he puts an arm around me and we just watch the television in silence for a while. Maybe I should give everyone a safe word tomorrow night? Like 'cabbage' or something then if it gets uncomfortable somebody can say 'cabbage' and we can all make our excuses and leave, I mean, it's worth a shot right? That sad part is I want to excited about this meal for Jack, I know it's a big deal for him and I so want to be able to promise him that I won't be a snarky prick to Charlotte and her friends but I'm just not sure I can make it. I'm a snarky prick, it's in my nature to snark like a prick. It's pretty much the only talent I have, well that and being able to play the guitar and sing a little, but I can hardly put that to good use at a dinner party now can I? Nobody wants to be the pretentious twat who turns up with his own guitar and decides to perform acoustic cover's of U2 songs all night (that's kind of what I play, because why write my own songs when there are much better ones out there I can cover?). Maybe I could fake an injury? No, Mum would only force me to go anyway.

Honestly, Mum's more excited than I've ever seen her before and is even planning on asking the 'Made in Chelsea' crew (I'm trying to think of a nickname for them, but none are sticking) around to our house for dinner in return. I think it's a bad idea though I suppose it would be home field advantage.

"I wish you were coming with us" I mumble into Charlie's shoulder feeling slightly sleepy. I had an eleven hour shift yesterday and it's nearly killed me. "At least then I'd have someone's eye to catch whenever anyone's being a twat"

"I wasn't invited" Charlie says patting my head "But I'll be thinking of you, and maybe we could meet down the pub afterwards? I'm betting you'll be needing a drink"

"Several" I say with yawn and before I know what's what I'm falling asleep on Charlie's shoulder and wake up several hours later alone on the settee with a blanket draped over me and a note from Charlie saying he had to go home. I rub my eyes, head upstairs and go for a shower and by the time I get downstairs Jack is home and, to my surprise and somewhat fear, he has brought Charlotte with him.

"Hey guys" I say suddenly feeling self-conscious. I expected to be alone. When I'm alone and have had a shower I like to stroll the house in my towel. It's weird I know, but fairly liberating but now Jack's near-enough girlfriend is giving my shirtless body the once over and it all feels a bit wrong

"Mate, put some clothes on" Jack says with a laugh

"Hi Eli" Charlotte says clearly holding back giggles "You'll have to give me the number of your personal trainer, I'd kill to be in your shape"

Personal trainer?

Who the fuck does she think I am?

"I don't have one" I say "This is all gym work. Solo. Though sometimes with Charlie, but I'm fairly sure he only goes to look at guys work out; I suppose it's a benefit of being gay really, you get to change in the same locker rooms as the sex you're attracted too"

"I thought you and Charlie were together at first" Charlotte says "It was at the wedding, and you jumped on his back and you were just being close all night. You'd make a cute couple"

If I had a quid for everytime I've heard that. I don't know why so many people think Charlie and I are gay together? What? Two guys who are best friends and have been since they were two can't hug each other in public and it not be platonic just because one of them is gay? What a world we live in!

"Yeah we, err, get that a lot" I say leaning against the door. "So, what're you two doing back here at this time?"

"Just bumped into each other and I asked her back for a cuppa" Jack says, he clearly wants me and my half-nakedness to leave. Not gonna happen. "So, Eli, you must be really tired after your eleven hour shift yesterday"

"I cannot believe they make you work that long" Charlotte interjects. Well, of course not, seen as though your manual labour time over your whole life probably equates to about eleven minutes

"Yeah, I'm fairly tired" I say "I'm probably going to try and get some sleep. In our bedroom. Jack. Where my bed is, and yours is right next to it. Where I can hear everything that's going on so don't even try to hide it if you get up to anything dirty"

With that, I leave and smile to myself as I can hear Jack apologize for me and my rude behaviour. He's too fun to wind up sometimes, I get to my bedroom and climb underneath the covers and try to fall asleep once again but am unsuccessful as about ten minutes later Mum returns home with Aiden and Kieran and soon descends into joyful hysterics at the sight of Charlotte Bingley at her dining room table. Like she's the fucking Duchess of Cambridge or something.

Thank god we got those royal aspirations out of Mum's head after the royal wedding, she practically had me engaged to Princess Eugenie in her mind. What a dumb name. Eugenie. It's like they wanted to call the second child 'Eugene' if it'd been a boy, which is a terrible name, and then when she was a girl decided to make it more feminine because for some reason they just couldn't resist Eugene. Stupid royals. Regardless, knowing that Jack is down there alone with Mum, Kieran and Aiden all sniffing around Charlotte I decide to be a good brother, put some clothes on and head downstairs to help Jack out and it's a good thing I do as well. Charlotte is currently seated between Kieran and Aiden both of whom are telling her about their day whilst Mum is running around the kitchen looking for green tea because Charlotte said that was her preference and Mum lied that we had some.

Deciding that Mum not breaking her neck searching in the cupboards is the more pressing matter at hand, I bypass the living room scene and head into the kitchen to find Mum standing on a wonky looking stool looking in the china cupboard. Yes, Mum, because you really would've put the green tea you're desperately trying to find (despite the fact we don't have any) in the cupboard we're only ever allowed to open should the Queen visit.

"Ma, Watcha doin?" I ask her

She looks around for the first time in ages she looks happy to see me

"Oh Elijah thank goodness" she says getting down off the stool "Dear, I need you to drive to the shops and buy some green tea. But do it quickly, and quietly, because I don't want Charlotte to know"

"Why don't you just tell her the truth?" I ask

"Don't be stupid Eli, now get in the car" she barks at me.

Rolling my eyes I pick up my car keys and make my way outside. I beep my horn as I leave the driveway just so everyone hears and is aware that a car is currently leaving the premises.

The drive to the shops isn't long but I decide to take a complicated route, partly to avoid having to go back home straight away, partly because I know the longer I am the more stressed Mum will get but mostly because Jennifer's house is this way and my curiosity is getting the best of me. I drive slowly passed her house however nobody is in and I can't help but smack myself internally for being so rude to her in the restaurant the other night, would it have killed me to say hello? Hell, I'd have been the bigger person if I'd done that so why did I act like an immature twat and pretend that she didn't even exist?

Damn it, how is it this girl still able to get under my skin so much? I drive away and passed Netherfield where I notice Darcy and Carl in the front garden talking, we all make brief eye contact as I drive by and to my surprise Carl smiles at me. I smile back, though in a confused way, and Darcy ends up hitting Carl on the arm and looking extremely irritated. Man, he's whipped and he's not even her boyfriend yet. Pathetic. I keep on driving and reach the store, several angry texts from Mum have come through on my phone, and buy the green tea which was fucking hard to find and I have to ask a store helper to find it for me. She was fairly fit and we flirted a little, she told me she goes into the club "Kuba" in town every Saturday night and I've promised her that's where I'll be on Saturday which is good because now I have an excuse to leave the dinner from hell early should I need too.

"Eli" a voice rings out as I head back to my car. I turn around to see Jennifer Morris approaching me, my stomach drops and those damn butterflies that were there when I was 13 and had a crush on her have returned "Hi"

"Hi" I say awkwardly

"My parents and Aggie were pleased to see you the other day" she tells me as she blushes and pushes her hair behind her ear

"I was pleased to see them" I tell her, feeling like a twat.

"Cool" she says. This is _so _awkward. How does she keep finding out where I am? The party, the restaurant and now here. "So...err, bye" I say after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

I make a move to go into my car however she touches my arm and stops me. I look at her and feel a pang of guilt as she looks relatively sad. "Are you avoiding me Eli?" she asks me

I shrug, "maybe"

"Why?"

"Why? Why do you think?" I tell her "Because it's hard seeing you Jennifer, you broke my heart into a million little pieces, so I'm sorry if I'm not jumping to meet you everytime I see you"

"I'm sorry" she mumbles looking at the ground, making me feel worse "I just...I don't know, I just miss you"

I shrug and get back into the car and drive home and it takes all of my willpower to not look back at her standing their alone in the car park. When I get home I more or less throw the green tea at Mum before ignoring everyone in the living room, heading upstairs and screaming into my pillow. I don't like this. I don't like the fact that Jennifer's come back and now I feel all that hurt and betrayal again but at the same time mixed in with lingering feelings of love and a genuine desire to forgive her, to be her friend and to finally move on. Whenever she's not around, I start beating myself up for the way I am around her but then she pops up again out of nowhere and I can't help but want to get away from her, it hurts too much.

"Eli?" Jack says tentatively as he walks into the room. I'm still screaming into the pillow, though I'm not sure why "I...err...Charlotte says thank you for going to get her that green tea. It was very sweet."

"I only did it so Mum wouldn't have a meltdown" I say, my voice is all mumbled because my face is still buried in the pillow. So I'm hiding a few tears from Jack? Hardly a crime is it? Besides, he seems to be understanding what I'm saying

"Did something happen whilst you were gone" Jack asks me

I lift my head off the pillow and face him, my eyes are red but I'm not sure if it was from the eye leakage (I don't cry) or the fact I've had my face buried in a pillow for the past several minutes

"Just bumped into Jennifer again" I tell him. He nods. "I don't know how, but she keeps popping up everywhere I go. Brianna's party, the restaurant after the cinema, the shops just now...I think she might be stalking me"

"I doubt she's stalking you" Jack tells me

"You said the same about Brianna once upon a time" I tell him

"True" he concedes before moving off his bed and sitting next to me on mine, he puts an arm around me and sissy as it sounds I feel a lot better "Look, she probably realizes she did wrong and she just wants to make it up to you. But at the end of the day, she is still Jennifer Morris, so your feelings on the matter won't have even occurred to her"

"I guess" I say with a sigh

"Hey, buck up" he says nudging my side "You're so much better off without her, and one day you're gonna find someone who is perfect for you...and if you don't, I'm sure Brianna would be perfectly willing to marry you and I'm sure she'd make you adequately happy"

'Adequately Happy' is about what I deserve in life

"Sorry if I was rude to you and Charlotte" I tell him

"It's cool" he says "I'm actually proud of you in a way, you're normally a lot more openly hostile to people you don't like it. You manage to rein it in when you're around her though"

"It's not that I don't like her. Honestly." I tell him in a panic "I just...look, she's lovely, and I've got no reason to not like her but I'm just worried that you'll get hurt again if she's not into this like you are."

"Well, thank you for that" Jack says "But, Eli, you have to understand at the moment that Charlotte and I are nothing. We're just two people hanging out, getting to know one another better, there's no feelings or anything like that involved yet"

He's lying, I know he is. I can tell when Jack likes somebody and he really, really likes Charlotte. It's incredibly obvious. Maybe I do just need to get to know her better? I mean, if Jack likes her than she must have loads of good qualities. But then again, Jack likes me and you could count the good qualities I have on one hand and have a few fingers to spare

"Well, I'll try harder then" I tell him "I mean, I'm going to have to considering we've got to keep our family in check tomorrow night."

"Oh didn't I say?" Jack says with a relieved smile etched across his face "There's been a change of plan - it's not a dinner for our family anymore, it's more a dinner party kind of thing with some people our age so Charlotte and everyone else can meet some new people. So you're going, I'm going and I think Charlie's going as well"

_Oh thank god._

"Yeah, so, no Mum or Dad or Kieran and Aiden" Jack goes on "We're going into town afterwards so no under-18's allowed, though that does mean Marcus is technically still invited..."

"We'll drag him there" I say with a laugh "He needs to get out more"

* * *

"Mum you really didn't have to drive us up to Netherfield" I say to my mother as she drives through the streets of York like a crazy person. I'm currently wedged in between Charlie and Marcus on the back seat - I'd had to practically drag Marcus into the car after Mum had offered to drive us there. Netherfield is literally a five minute walk from our house, it's not even raining but in Mum's head if she drives us up there then there's a very small chance she too could be invited to dinner on the spot. I've resigned myself to the fact she will be, because even if she's not technically invited she'll make excuse after excuse to stay and eventually Charlotte will be worn down and Mum will get to stay and embarrass us well into the night.

"Oh don't be silly dear" she says "I wouldn't dream of making you boys walk up to Netherfield tonight, anything could happen. You could be late, it could rain, you could get mugged or killed..."

"Dragons could fall from the sky" I interject as Jack, Charlie and even Marcus smirk, I can see Mum roll her eyes in the mirror

"I just want to make sure you get their safely" she says "And, of course, I want to say hello to Charlotte and her friends...you know, to be polite"

"Nosey" I cough. Charlie elbows me in the side.

For some reason I start getting a nervous twisting feeling in my stomach as Mum pulls up to Netherfield. This annoys me because I've not really got much to be worried about tonight; Mum's not staying (hopefully) and the most embarrassing members of my family are back at home and the only person in there who openly seems to disdain me is Darcy, and I can more than deal with her but yeah, very, very nervous for some reason right now.

"You look green dude" Charlie tells me as we get out of the car. Any hopes I had of Mum just dropping us off and that being it have sadly evaporated as she's currently following us to the front door telling Marcus about the history of the mansion as well as being critical of the new decorative features Charlotte had installed since she moved in. I'm just glad she's gotten rid of those gargoyles, they're creepy as fuck.

"Hi guys" Charlotte says brightly as she answers the door. All our mouths drop as she looks drop dead stunningly gorgeous and I instinctively get my hands ready just in case Jack faints which is looking very likely. Hell, even Charlie's staring at her and he's gay and I'm pretty sure Mum just turned. Marcus has turned red. I, of course, am being swag and cool

OK, scratch that I just tripped over an umbrella. Who leaves an umbrella casually in a doorway?

Darcy.

That's who.

This was her first booby trap I bet. They'll be more, and I'll be prepared you mark my words.

"Clumsy" Charlotte tells me with a laugh as I take her hand to pull me back off of the floor. I look around to see all my loved ones currently in the room in fits of laughter and Charlie takes a picture of me looking flustered.

"Cheers" I tell her as I reach up.

"Oh Charlotte, dear, I do love what you've done with the place" Mum says pushing the rest of us out of the way and engulfing Charlotte in a big hug. Darcy, Carl, Alex and Victoria are all now gathered at the bottom of the stairs and I see Darcy give my Mum a condescending look that goes unnoticed because Mum is telling Charlotte everything she admires about the house (of course, these are the things she was being critical of not two minutes ago)

"Well thank you Mrs. Bennet" says Charlotte sweetly "And I have to say, it was very nice of you to drive Jack and the others up here. I hope we haven't delayed you too long on whatever trip you were taking anyway that involved driving past here; because I'm assuming that's the reason you dropped them off. Not like they couldn't have done the five minute walk on their own."

Oooooh

Shots fired

I like this girl

Mum is flustered. Mum-bot does not compute.

"Oh" she says "Oh yes. How silly of me, I nearly let time run away with me good lord, yes, I must dash of. Supermarket and all that. Have fun boys"

And with that, Mum leaves

Jack, Charlie, Marcus and I once again have our mouths dropped but this time for very different reasons

"I need to take lessons from you or something" I tell Charlotte "She never leaves anywhere, how did you manage that?"

Charlotte shrugs and leads the rest of the group into the dining room, however I decide to hang back and tidy up the mess I made when I fell over the umbrella. Knocked down a whole coat rack. Skill.

"N'aww did mummy drive you to the big house" Darcy asks me in a condescending baby voice having hung back as well

I need to hit back.

Right.

Now.

C'mon brain

"Well those of us without personal drivers have to make do" I say back "You know, I really do envy those who have to walk anywhere. It's such a peasant activity don't you agree ol'sport?"

Darcy snarls and approaches me

"OK, Bennet boy, here's the deal" she says "I don't like you, and you don't like me, this is going to be hell but we're doing it for Charlotte and Jack. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours - I know that will be hard for you, I know how hard it is for white boys not to interject at every available opportunity"

"I only interject when someone says something that I consider interesting or thought provoking" I tell her as I walk past her and into the dining room "And as it's highly unlikely you'll be contributing anything of worth to the conversation, I don't think we're gonna have a problem"

She stays silent as I walk on and I claim a little victory to myself, even if it feels like I've only won a battle and she's most likely to win the war. That girl has it out for me, and I just don't know why. I make my way into the overly grand dining area where Jack, Charlie and Marcus have been seated and are making small-talk with the others. I sit down next to Charlie as Darcy passes us without any notice and takes a seat next to Victoria and opposite Jack.

"So, how many other people are coming?" Jack asks nodding to the empty chairs at the table. There were about six empty ones.

"Oh just some people we've invited" Victoria says, "in fact I would not be surprised if you guys know some of them"

"Your 'friend' Brianna is coming Eli" Carl tells me, and I'm aware this is the first time we've acknowledged each other through words and not 'me more dominant alpha male' looks. He's laughing, I laugh back nervously though I'm not quite sure why. Charlie gives me a strange look. "Char really likes her"

"She's funny" Charlotte says with a laugh

"She's unhinged" Darcy says sipping on some wine

Hey!

It's only OK when I say that!

"Oh that's good, Brianna's really good company" says Charlie, this takes me by surprise as he's usually fairly dismissive of Brianna. Guess he doesn't like Darcy either that fabulous best friend of mine.

"We've all actually make quite a lot of new friends" Victoria says sounding like a giddy six-year old "Even Darcy!"

I love that Victoria, thanks for the free ammunition love.

"Oh really" I say turning my head towards Darcy "So, Darcy, how many amazing friends have you made since coming to York?"

She looks down at her plate

"A few" she says looking back up at me "I mean, I've always thought people who have the same best friend all their lives are fairly unadventurous, particularly when their only other friends are their brothers"

"Well, at least some people have the choice" I say "You see, I actually had a very wide social circle at school but you never quite know who you can trust. Who's gonna stab you in the back, who's being genuine? So I've always been very careful"

"Ah yes, trust" said Darcy taking a gulp of wine "I suppose you would have trust issues after your girlfriend slept with one of your best friends and tried to seduce your elder brother, that must've stung"

Charlie almost breaks his glass and Jack looks genuinely pissed off and even Marcus is shaking his head and giving her angry death glares. The comment pierces me - how the hell does she even know? But I don't let it show, I carry on smiling with the knowledge that from the look on her face even Darcy knows she's gone a bit too far.

"Some people just don't know a good thing when they've got it" I say before Alex and Charlotte make conscious efforts to change the subject immediately and there's an audible sigh of relief when the doorbell rings and Darcy goes to answer it

"I'm very sorry about her" Charlotte tells me in hushed tones "She's not normally this rude, I guess she just gets nervous around people...she's really not that bad"

I will believe that when I see it, but out of politeness towards Charlotte who has been nothing short of charming and duty of brotherhood towards Jack I let it go and tell Charlotte it hasn't bothered me. Charlie and Marcus both give me supportive looks, and Jack tells Carl that it really isn't any of his business when Carl begins to pry for more details on Jennifer-gate.

"I hate women like that" Victoria says as she sits down next to me "If I had a penny for every girl like that I've met...were you really heartbroken Eli?"

"I was OK" I tell her quickly, I haven't even been honest with how badly Jennifer messed me up with my own family, so I'm certainly not going to confide in this admittedly nice but dim stranger "Just got on with things ya know?"

"Yeah" she says. Darcy walks back into the dining room with three people now following her; Emmett Cooper, a boy from Jack's year who's a complete twat who turns out to be Carl's guest (this doesn't surprise me), Holly Johnson, a girl from Marcus's year presumably invited to keep him company which is lucky as I know for a fact Marcus has a crush on her, Holly's elder brother Tim who turns out to be Alex's guest, Samantha Taylor and then, of course, Brianna Fairclough.

I stand up and hug both Brianna and Samantha who both give me pecks on the cheek and sit down on either side of me; Charlie having moved down to accommodate them and I can't help but be very glad of their presence. I can be my relaxed self around Brianna and Samantha and show Darcy that no matter how hard she tries she's not going to trip me up tonight; this is my domain damn it.

"Where's your guest Darcy?" Victoria asks

"Oh she's running late" Darcy replies sitting back down. There's a vacant spot next to her. "She'll be along in half an hour or so"

"Who is it?" asks Samantha

"Ah, you'll have to wait and see" is Darcy's reply. I ignore her and throw myself into conversation with those around me, occasionally looking over at Marcus and Holly where Holly is doing most of the talking and Marcus is merely looking at her longingly. I kick him under the table and mouth to him that he should talk to her back, and after ten painful minutes, he begins and from then on in their conversation seems to flow rather smoothly. I knew he could do it!

"So, everyone, how's the starters?" Charlotte asks about five minutes after we dug into the Prawn Cocktails; Darcy's guest called her to say she was going to be even later so we decided to start without her though Darcy protested.

There's a general consensus of 'nice' as everyone eats.

"We're really pleased we could do this" she goes on "We've all been going kind of stir crazy in the house since we moved here, just each other to talk to day in day out, and you've all been so welcoming"

I don't think I've been particularly welcoming

"I'm just pleased somebody finally bought this house" says Samantha "It's so beautiful, it was a shame to see it go to waste in the way it was. You've done it up really nice."

"Thank you" says Charlotte sounding happy

"Elijah's mum thought it was really nice" says Darcy

"Our Mum has good taste" interjects Marcus before I have a chance to reply. That kid is coming into his own tonight. Darcy shuts up as the conversation continues; Carl and Alex ask all us boys about sport - Carl's spluttering over himself when Charlie announced his sexuality will forever be a highlight of my life ("Oh I'm not-I's not-I've just never met one of your kind before") - whilst Victoria quizzes the girls on the best places to shop.

"You seem on good form tonight" Brianna tells me as we wait for the main courses "I really didn't wanna come to this thing until Sam dragged me here and said you were coming as well."

"It was originally a dinner between my family and them" I tell her "I was just pleased the plans were changed, that would have been a fucking disaster"

Brianna laughs, "I'll smack Darcy for being a cow if you want"

"Better not" I say "She'd only call the police and then I'd have to bail you out of prison. I don't know if I have the money for that"

Just then, the doorbell rings and Darcy excitedly announces that it must be her guest and gets up from the table and runs towards the door.

"Blimey, I've never seen her run so quick" comments Victoria

"Who'd you think she's invited" Samantha whispers to Charlie

"Maleficent" Charlie replies and Samantha, Brianna and I chuckle. Jack and Charlotte are still deep in conversation with one another, completely oblivious to the fact they're not the only people in the world. As are Marcus and Holly, though he shoots me a 'thank you' for dragging him along tonight and I wink back at him with a genuine smile on my face.

"Hey guys, my guest is here" Darcy says as she comes back into the room followed by Jennifer Morris; who looks equally as shocked to see me as I am to see her. I turn dramatically to Charlie, Jack, Samantha and Brianna all of whom have their mouths agog and I can't help but feel the _EastEnders _cliff-hanger drumbeats would be very appropriate right now.

* * *

**Author's Note: **DUN-DUN-DUN! I'll be honest guys, I think this is probably the weakest chapter so far, I don't know why but I just wasn't really feeling this one but I soldiered on. I knew if I kept putting it off I'd never get around to it and I don't want this to happen with this story because it's gathered such a following! Either way, I hope you're still enjoying the story anyway

**Review Replies:**

**DizzyLizzy.60: **The bro get together was one of my favourite things to write so far, I just love the dynamic between the five brothers. Who couldn't love Eli though let's be honest?

**LoveInTheBattlefield: **Enough with the Sailor Moon! Honestly, it's a lost cause on me, I'm very sorry. But I'm sooooo glad you're still here and enjoying this story

**Guests(s): **Thank you for your reviews and I'm very happy to have you on board

**wendywho: **I don't think Jennifer has much up her sleeve to be honest, she's just very insensitive and genuinely hasn't even thought of Elijah's own feelings whilst she's been trying to apologize. Brianna will find someone, I promise

**aishteru naru: **Thank you!


	12. Setback

Some People

Chapter Twelve

So...yeah. Jennifer's here. To be fair, she's looking at me with as much shock and surprise as I'm looking at her and I make a mental note to restrain Brianna as she tries to get up from her seat and I doubt she was doing so to go over and shake Jennifer's hand. There's a very uncomfortable silence.

"Well, what's with the silence guys" I say immediately standing up, surprising even myself. Jack, Charlie, Brianna and Samantha all look at me with surprise whilst everyone else, sans Jennifer and Darcy, looks very confused at the scene unfolding before their eyes "Isn't someone going to say hello to Jennifer?! Hi Jenny!"

_Jenny?_

I've never called her Jenny once in the life

She banned it because she hates that J-Lo song '_Jenny From The Block' _and people used to sing it at her in primary school

I may have been one of them

_You _try dealing with a crush at 9.

"Err, hi, Eli" she says with a smile and awkward wave before looking to my various friends and loved ones. "Jack, nice to see you"

Jack smiles back

"Marcus"

"Don't talk to me" my little brother replies. His date looks angry too, then it occurred to me that mine and Jennifer's (very public) breakup was one of the most exciting things to ever happen and this girl would've been in Year Ten at the time so of course she remembers. Hell, even Tim Johnson and Emmett Cooper don't look too pleased to see Jennifer.

"Brianna, Samantha, you guys are looking well" she continues

"Thanks" says Samantha coldly "Same to you"

Brianna says nothing and merely holds my hand. I'm oddly appreciative and squeeze back when she squeezes

"Charlie" Jennifer says with a nod as she sits down opposite him. I keep my eyes on Darcy who sits down next to Jennifer, opposite from Samantha, and can't tell if she looks pleased with herself or if she's realized in hindsight this probably wasn't the best idea she's ever had. I mean, I did tell her to ask about why I was avoiding Jennifer during our conversation at Brianna's party but I never for a second thought that she'd bloody befriend the girl

"For those of you who are not aware" says Charlie standing up and looking down on me, and then at Jennifer who hides her face in her hands "This is Jennifer Morris. Now, I do not know how or why she's managed to infiltrate this evening's proceedings - lovely Salmon by the way Charlotte, really top notch - but I feel like I should introduce her"

"Charlie stop" I say through gritted teeth. Jack tugs at Charlie's sleeve but he does not sit down.

"Jennifer and Elijah used to be boyfriend and girlfriend" Charlie says addressing mainly Carl, Alex and Victoria all of whom look very confused. Charlotte less so, I guess Jack has told her "Until Jennifer-"

"OK, Chaz, time to sit down" I say immediately standing up and pulling Charlie down, he shoots me an angry glare but I give him an even angrier one and we seem to come to some unspoken agreement. Jennifer looks mortified.

"So how-how, did you guys meet?" I ask.

"Oh it was at Brianna's party" said Darcy. Her expression is odd, she's eying me with what seems to be pity at worst or concern at best. Either way, I think she's realized she maybe didn't think this one through. "I was just sitting at a table, nursing a wine, minding my own business when Jennifer here sits down and we begin chatting. We just hit it off didn't we Jen?"

"Oh yeah, definitely" says Jennifer. Her reply is odd, she smiles at Darcy fondly but I can tell this is the first time they've actually laid eyes on one another since the night of Brianna's party

"I'm sorry if this has made you uncomfortable Eli" says Darcy. No you're not, this is exactly what you wanted "It honestly was not my intention, I didn't think, and besides it's been three years. That's enough time to move on surely?"

I guess I should cut Darcy some slack here

It's easy not to know the pains of your first heartbreak when you don't have a heart to break in the first place.

I mean, I barely have a heart as it is and when my broke it fuckin' hurt. Like a full on physical pain in my chest. So, I can't imagine what people with genuinely good hearts go through when they get theirs broken.

"Everyone's different" pipes up Marcus

I glare at him. He cowers. I feel a little guilty, he was only trying to stick up for me

"Uncomfortable? Heck no, who's uncomfortable" I say with a nervous laugh before taking a big sip of wine "I'm fine, I'm totally fine, so why don't we just change the subject - Victoria, I'd be fascinated to hear about that religion you invented"

"OK, Cool" says Victoria, who'd been staring at us all with intense interest, she sits up and begins talking animatedly about her religion and I don't really listen to her, though from what I can hear it seems to involve a giraffe rather heavily. I can't really tell if Jennifer's genuinely interested or just focusing solely on the only string of conversation that can mean she doesn't have to look at me, and I allow myself to drift off into my own thoughts.

Slapping myself mentally because damn, Jennifer looks flawless tonight. She was always beautiful, even when she was young and was one of those girls who never seemed to go through puberty. One day she just came back to school taller, thinner, tanner and with breasts. We were 12. You can imagine the reaction, it really was no surprise that she became the most sought after girl in our year but, and I'm not being conceited here, she only ever really had eyes for me. I was the most sought after boy in our year, we made sense and I think everyone expected us to get together at some point but we skated around the danger zone (as Suzanne Vega would say) and it took us until my 15th birthday to kiss but after that we were pretty much the perfect teenage couple, and I genuinely fell in love. Because the joy has been beaten out of them over the years, older people never really believe it when two fifteen year olds say they're in love but let me tell you I was there and you cannot write off those feelings you feel at 15. They are intense as fuck.

I think Jennifer and I maybe got a bit too intense with each other too quickly for our relationship to ever survive. We were sleeping with each other regularly within a week of our first kiss, we went on holiday with one another during both summers we were a couple and we genuinely acted as if we were 25 rather than 15. We became one of those drama couples by the end, where there's something wrong everyday and both of you would go home and question why you were even in this relationship when it made you so miserable every day? But then, she'd come over and we'd talk and make up and have sex and all would be fine until the next morning where she'd see some girl eye me up on the bus or I'd hear some guys talking about how fit she was and we'd both flip out and blame each other. Jealousy became a big thing with us, particularly Jennifer who despite being absolutely gorgeous always had self-confidence issues and would freak out anytime a girl so much as looked at me. Considering how unhinged and obsessive Brianna's behaviour towards me was at the time, plus my dubious history with half the girl in the year, you can kind of see why Jennifer acted the way she did sometimes. She was insanely jealous, though I believed I had not given her any reason to be. Looking back, that's maybe untrue

But I was committed to her. 100%. I had, once again these are merely facts not me being arrogant, girl throwing themselves at me left, right and centre and never, not once, did I so much as flirt back with any of them. It was Jennifer for me. I was in love. Despite all her jealousy and insecurities, Jennifer was never exactly the most thoughtful person in the world and really had a knack for getting on the wrong side of people and causing massive arguments. But she could also be incredibly kind, sweet and funny and I knew she loved me a lot too. The arguments she caused were normally relegated to within her close circle of 'frenemies' however towards the end of the relationship she begin to be a lot more callus and cruel towards me; she'd ban me from going to parties, she'd get all pissed off and miserable if I saw my friends and not her, if we did ever go somewhere I was kept on some kind of metaphorical leash and because I was too much of an idiot and in love I let her do all of those things because I was scared she was going to leave me. That, for me, would've been the worst thing imaginable

It wasn't.

So, there I was. Saturday, November 27th 2010. House party. I was slightly tipsy and Brianna Fairclough was flirting with me something rotten that night and to be honest, for once, I was slightly reciprocating. I was always more susceptible to Brianna's charms, if that's what we're gonna call them, after a few drinks and having had a particularly bad string of arguments with Jennifer over the previous week I was flirting back more than I ever had done before. Jennifer and I had pretty much separated once we'd arrived at the party, she was dragged off in one direction and me in another and I'd become drunk very, very quickly thanks to Charlie and Liam Greene and once Brianna had made her usual beeline towards me, I'd taken her by the hand and we were dancing to "_Like a G6" _in the middle of the living room.

Jennifer had seen us, though I had not realized this and wasn't told until long after the song had ended and, knowing she was upset, I'd rushed off to find her and had been told by Samantha Taylor that she had gone upstairs to one of the bedrooms. I found her and Tyler Hemmings in bed together having very clearly just had sex. Jennifer jumped out of bed when she saw me and tried to explain that he was comforting her because she was crying over what a "jerk" I was and honestly for a few moments I was feeling very guilty. Then I got angry. I'd left the bedroom and stormed through the party immediately attracting the attention of Charlie, Jack, Brianna and various others as Jennifer and Tyler both followed me shame faced. I don't want to properly go into it; Tyler and I had a fight and I was taken home with a broken nose after a lucky left hook from Tyler who, in turn, broke his wrist. I'd cried on Jack all night. It was all very embarrassing, especially as all my younger brothers were in the room at the time and they were all meant to look up to me as being strong but I'd never felt emotion like that before or since.

Jennifer came around the next morning and despite my families protests I'd heard her out, and somehow she persuaded me that Tyler had been purely in the wrong and I forgave her. Took her back without question, and the thing was within three hours we were back to the pointless arguments though at least, on my part at least, they were covering up frustrations now. Then, three days later, it was as if Tyler Hemmings had never happened and Jennifer was back to treating me like crap and I'd even overheard her blame me for that Saturday's events when she didn't know I was listening to her speak to her friends. Jack, Charlie, Brianna and a lot of other people didn't speak to me for those three days, thinking I was an absolute mug for taking Jennifer back and Liam Greene had even pointed out that it was hypocritical of me and that if I could forgive and forget so quickly with Jennifer then I should do the same with Tyler. I punched Liam and got sent home from school, Dad really had to fight to get me to be able to stay in Sixth Form which had a no violence policy. Liam and I were OK within five minutes of my assault though; mainly because I had, yet another, public meltdown and admitted the punch was mainly for Tyler but I knew if I punched him I'd never have been able to stop.

Jennifer found out and went mental with me later that night, saying that we'd never be able to move on from it all if I didn't stop. I called her a bitch. Said it was unfair of her to blame all this on me. I went to the bathroom after that, and when I came back to my bedroom I found Jennifer trying to coerce Jack, who had wanted a private conversation with her in order to tell her to leave me alone, into having sex with her. I'll never forget what she said about me, about him, about her family and then my brother and mother. She went on about how awful of a boyfriend I was, how she really liked him and I could never compare to him. That I was unkind. Callous. Cruel. Selfish. Heartless. I'd heard it all, and Jack had had to push her off of him to get her to stop. I broke up with her on the spot. I told her to never speak to me again and she had left the house in tears, the only genuine emotion she showed during the whole sorry mess. The next time I saw her, five days later because I hadn't left my bed between Thursday and the next Monday, she was completely fine, laughing with her friends and snogging Tyler Hemmings in the Sixth Form common room. It took Liam, Jack and Charlie to physically restrain me.

I was a mess afterwards. A complete, total mess the extent of which nobody, not even Charlie or Jack, is aware of. Looking back, I was depressed but I didn't see it as that at the time and I was just annoyed with myself to not be able to get over Jennifer in the way that she had so easily got over me. It was hard for everyone else too. I've always been Elijah, the funny Bennet brother with the awesome sense of humour, naturally rebellious spirit and irrepressible optimism but there I was. A complete mess. I spent pretty much all of the Christmas holidays cooped up in mine and Jack's bedroom looking through old photo's of Jennifer and myself. I left the room on Christmas Day for dinner, but didn't touch any of it, I spent all of New Year's Eve in there and I remember having to be physically forced out of bed by Dad and Jack to go downstairs and eat because I had not done so in three days. I always felt as if I had been majorly overreacting, but I was 16 and heartbroken and had no way of knowing how the hell to deal with what I was feeling and on New Year's Day I took it that one step too far. I took it to a place that scared me, a place that I swore never to go again and a place that made me snap out of my depression and try to piece my life back together.

During all of this, Mum was entirely unsympathetic and had allowed herself to be swayed by Jennifer's sob story and Mum's theory was that I'd be less depressed if I had Jennifer back. It took Dad's firm opposition to stop Mum from inviting Jennifer and her parents around to sort all of it out; of course Mum had ulterior motives for wanting Jennifer and myself back together and I always think of that time as the time any chance of a close relationship I'd ever have with Mum fizzled out and we both knew it. Things have never been the same with us since, another thing Jennifer destroyed. The next year was terrible. Tyler and Jennifer lasted longer than any of us believed that they would, about a year, and it was very hard seeing them together and I dealt with it by essentially shagging my way around. I, to this day, do not know why I did this and genuinely feel a little disgusted by it now - I slept with ten different girls on a regular basis in one year, some overlapping with the others and I didn't care if I hurt them. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to feel in control. I wanted to know I was still good enough for girls, I wanted someone to lie with but I was probably too scared (and too scared to admit) to start a new proper relationship.

Day to day, I was OK, and back to my happy demeanour pretty quickly but it definitely took over a year for it not to feel like a charade. It was hell. I wanted to escape it so badly, I wanted to be able to do as Jennifer did and just move on and be happy but I couldn't and I was stuck for so long; hating and loving her at the same time and it wasn't until the end of Year 13 when I knew I'd never have to see either Jennifer or Tyler again (of course, they were broken up by this point in time) and within six months I felt better and for over a year now, I'd felt better. But ever since Jennifer turned up at Brianna's party a few weeks ago, I felt myself getting back to that dark place everytime I saw her, and it's been greatly worrying me. Maybe I'm not truly over Jennifer? What if this whole year and a half has been merely a case of out of sight, out of mind? Because, I'll be honest, before the shock and anger kicked in when Darcy brought Jennifer into the room tonight, for a mili-second I was pleased to see Jennifer. My heart skipped a little, I felt hot and loving feelings came rushing back. It has happened everytime I've seen her since Brianna's party to some degree, I suppose I can at least take comfort from the fact that I'm able to forget that pretty quickly, remember what she did and become angry about it. The things she said about me...they still hurt. A lot.

So, I'm not a total sucker right?

I can be angry with her. I can see she was in the wrong. Not me. Not in the end.

"Earth to Elijah" Charlie says waving a hand infront of my face, I snap out of my Jennifer-transe and look around to see everyone else has got up from the table "You OK man?"

"Yeah, fine" I reply with a false smile. I briefly make eye contact with Jennifer but we both look away very quickly

"Come on Eli" says Charlotte coming forward and taking my hand, I feel a rush of affection towards her for some reason. We pass a surprisingly guilty looking Darcy "The taxi will be here in a minute, we're going to your favourite club. Jack told me about it and I booked us all tickets"

I smile at her and Jack

"Thanks" I say "You guys will love this place"

* * *

"I have to say Bennet, you have good taste" Carl Bingley tells me as he, Alex, Jack, Tim, Emmet and I sit at a table in the club. "This is by far the classiest place we've come across so far, though the music is a bit loud"

"The owner's son fancies him" Jack tells Carl

I shrug, "There are benefits to being gorgeous"

We all watch as the girls, and Charlie, dance whilst Marcus and Amy seem to have snuck off somewhere. Maybe he's losing his virginity as we speak? Wouldn't that be something?

"You should've seen Eli at school" Emmet tells Carl and Alex "He was a right little chick magnet"

I roll my eyes and turn my attention to Brianna and Samantha on the dancefloor, Brianna beckons me to come over but I shake my hand and mouth that I need to get more drunk before I dance. Jennifer's off to the side of her, seemingly in conversation with Darcy and honestly looking a little irritated with her whilst Charlotte and Victoria are both very drunk and currently dancing on top of a table. Marcus and Amy suddenly appear by us and Amy goes off to meet some girls from her year that have just walked in

"How's it going little bro?" I ask him

"Great" he's slightly tipsy "I can't believe this but Amy just told me that she likes. Actually likes me. Can you believe that?"

"I totally can" I tell him with a smile on my face. I needed this good news. "You're adorable mate, you just need more confidence and then you'll be getting through 'em like I did"

"I don't want to get threw 'em" Marcus retorts "I want to be with Amy"

"Then go dance with her dickhead" I tell him.

"No, no way" he says looking panicked. He looks around at Jack.

"I agree with Eli" he says "If you want her little brother, you need to go and get her now, because she's about to be chatted up by someone else"

We all look over to the bar where Amy Johnson is indeed being chatted up by a guy who looks like he could use Marcus as weight-lift. This honestly feels like that moment in _Back To The Future _and Marcus's new found happiness just suddenly disappears and he shrinks back into himself and mumbles something about "not being worth it" as Amy starts talking back to the guy

He looks so sad.

Nope.

Not having this.

I stand up and drag Marcus to the bar with me.

"Can I help you" Mr Muscle asks me as we approach. Amy looks both scared and confused.

"Nah, just wondering if you could stay away from my brother's girl" I reply probably a little too cockily. This guy looks like he could crush my face in one move. He looks from Amy to Marcus and laughs

"_She _likes _him_" he says with a laugh. Marcus's head shrinks further into his shoulders, and he looks like he's going to cry as the guy continues laughing. Amy gives him a disgusted look before taking Marcus by the hand and leading him onto the dancefloor, Mr. Muscle man looks at me aggressively

"I was onto a good thing there" he says grabbing me by the cuff of my shirt

"Well, now you're not" I tell him. We've attracted a crowd. "Now, I suggest you move on, I'd say find some other girl but frankly I'm getting dat-rapey vibes from you so maybe you should just leave"

To my surprise he doesn't end my life, lets me go and walks out of the bar yelling something about 'pompous little shits'

"You should be a bouncer" Brianna tells me as I turn around and face her and the crowd that had gathered around us. I look past her and see Marcus and Amy slow-dancing together and feel a warm feeling in my chest as Marcus mouths 'thank you' at me and before I know it I'm being dragged into the middle of the dancefloor by Samantha, Brianna and Charlie

We all dance together for a while, Charlie and I make people laugh by slow-dancing together, and before I know what's going on Jack, Amy, Marcus, Alex and Victoria have joined us and we all dance together for what seems like a very long time before Brianna drags me off by the hand we wind up sitting on the steps just to the left of the bar as everyone else carries on

"You OK?" she asks me.

"Yeah, fine" I tell her. I do feel better now. Mainly because I haven't seen Jennifer in over half an hour. Maybe she's gone home?

"Don't lie to me Eli" she says "I saw the colour drain from your face when she walked into the room. Everyone did. I can't believe Darcy invited her, that girl is a piece of work"

"Yeah, I wasn't a fan of hers before" I say with a bitter smirk "And I'm certainly not now, she must've known about me and Jennifer you know? I mean, I bloody told her to ask about so there's no way she didn't know. She invited her anyway. Why would she do that?"

"To mess with you? I don't know" says Brianna

"Thank you, by the way" I tell her with a genuine smile on my face "You've been such a good friend recently"

"I'm slowly accepting that's all we'll ever be" she says. We stay on the stairs talking, laughing, reminiscing and drinking for a good few hours until I'm very drunk and suddenly, suddenly I now feel like I want to kiss her

So I do.

Brianna smiles and leads me by the hand into the girls bathroom whilst nobody is looking, and we continue to kiss passionately like tomorrow is never going to come. It's easily one of the best kisses I've ever had, I don't know if that's the alcohol or something else talking, but damn it - this is one absolutely amazing kiss and I'm enjoying it so much. Brianna drags me into one of the toilet cubicles and puts her hand up my shirt as we continue kissing, her cold hand feels freezing against my stomach as she moves it up and down but our kissing only gets more and more passionate as time goes by.

I feel reluctant to touch her, but after a while she places my hand on her bottom herself and she begins to undo my belt and I know what this is going to end with. I know it's wrong, but I can tell that at this moment we both want this a lot, so I give in and let Brianna take control of the situation. She continues kissing me before she reaches into my trousers and puts her hands on by boxers, as our kissing intensifies after a short break, the door to our cubicle opens and someone screams:

"OH MY GOSH, I'M SORRY"

It's Jennifer

God damn it

Of course it is

When isn't it her?

Brianna and I are flushed and we both exit the cubicle slightly red and I do up the undone buttons of my shirt and zip up my trousers

"What do you want?" Brianna asks Jennifer aggressively

"The toilet" Jennifer replies as she looks at me up and down. You had your chance, not my fault your pass to this glorious body has expired.

Yep, I'm definitely drunk

"Wow, well, feel free to use another one" Brianna says taking my hand again, however I shrug it off, Brianna looks affronted

"ELI?" she asks sounding very annoyed

I turn to her

"Sorry" I tell Brianna. Her jaw drops.

"Whatever" she says before flouncing out of the bathroom giving both Jennifer and I angry looking glares as she does so

Now, it's just us

My head is spinning

"Well, looks like she got what she's been dreaming of since she was four" Jennifer says perching herself against the wall. I try to make myself look casual by slouching against the cubicle door; it doesn't work and I nearly fall through. Jennifer laughs, and after wondering whether it would be inappropriate for me to join in, I ultimately decide to join her

God, I've missed that laugh

So sexy.

She's so sexy.

Sexy Jennifer.

She snorts.

So sexy.

"So, Eli, you've been avoiding me" she says

"Yep" I tell her. No anger. No happiness. Just a fact. Facts are cool. Spiders kill each other after sex you know. That's a fact. I like _QI_. Stephen Fry isn't normally my kind of comedian but I like that show.

What am I talking about?

Oh yeah that's right. I'm alone in a bathroom with my cheating ex who has just caught me in the middle of a highly sexual act with the girl who stalked me though our relationship

"Why?" she asks

"Why do you think?" I asked with a slight laugh

"Look, Eli, I know I hurt you" she says "But c'mon, that was almost four years ago now, surely you can't still be angry"

"I'm not angry" I tell her "I haven't been angry for a very long time...just sad, hurt, regretful...how is the wonderful Tyler?"

"In Japan" she says "Travelling the world last I heard, though that was nearly eighteen months ago, I don't know if he's back. Or alive. We haven't really spoken"

"Not gonna pretend I'm sad about that" I tell her "Your relationship always felt gross to me, it was hard to watch"

"I guess" she says with a shrug

"Why are you so unfeeling?" I ask

"Excuse me?" she asks sounding genuinely shocked

"Unfeeling" I tell her "You're unfeeling. Except when it comes to yourself obviously, did you really think I'd just be OK seeing you again?"

"I knew it would be hard for you" she says "But, I don't know, I guess I hoped you'd have matured enough to at least treat me with some civility. You haven't been remotely civil or mature about this Eli"

"OK, maybe you have a point, I've been pretty rude" I tell her "And I'm sorry, but c'mon Jen, did you really think I'd just welcome you back to my life like that? I wouldn't be a little weary?"

"Yeah, kinda" she says before sighing "I don't know what I was expecting to be honest, it's just ever since we left school, I've felt like I've had to hideaway to spare your feelings and I was sick of it. Samantha and Ellie practically tell me that everytime there's a party with our year. I was sick of being left out."

She's got a point

That is unfair

"Sorry" I mumble

"It's OK" she says. "I forgive you"

Wait?

What?

_She _forgives _me?_

_SHE _forgives _ME?_

_**SHE **_forgives _**ME?**_

"I am not to blame for that" I tell her, man do I feel weak for apologizing. "You're Jennifer Morris, you could have come if you really wanted too. Maybe you stayed away because you knew no one wanted you there"

"Well, that's true" she says "Nobody spoke to me after I 'broke' your heart, it was like I'd broken some unwritten rule. Don't hurt Eli. He's too precious"

"Why do you blame everyone but yourself?" I snap "People stopped talking to you because they saw your true colours. Hell, even all your stupid little friends stopped following you around not long after, and that's down to _your own _actions Jennifer, nobody else's"

"You don't think I know what I did was wrong" she screams back

Man, does no one else need to use this bathroom?

"No" I shout back "No, I don't. You never even so much as apologized to me or Jack, you just started crying, ran out of my house and then pretended I didn't exist for over a year. You got Aggie to give all my stuff back and get yours, you wouldn't make eye-contact with me, you acted like I was the one in the wrong"

"No one was fully bad or good where you and I were concerned" she tells me "C'mon, Eli, do you have a selective memory? Surely you must remember what you were like back then? Always flirting with other girls-"

"I was talking to them!"

"You flirted with my friends" Jennifer carries on as if she hasn't heard me "My sister, my cousin, my _mum_"

"One kiss on the cheek for a nicely cooked Sunday dinner does not equal flirting" I tell her "My god, you really were paranoid weren't you?"

"I loved you" she said "I _still _love you, the feelings I had for you...they were so, so, so intense and I wanted you for myself. All of you. I didn't want anybody else to get close to you, because if they did they'd discover how amazing and kind and funny you were and then they'd try to steal you from me."

She's crying now. I think she's just had an epiphany. Or several vodka shots. Either way, remorse and human emotion. That's a plus.

Oh, now she's hugging me and crying into my chest

Don't pat her hair comfortingly

Don't do it Eli.

Don't

Damn it, I'm doing it.

"I'm s-s-so sorry Eli" she says hiccoughing every few syllables "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

"It's OK" I tell her

"No it's not" she cries "I-I tried to sleep with your brother. I s-said awful things about you. I'm so sorry Eli you must hate me"

"Hey, hey, it's OK" I tell her pushing her off me slightly. This is all I've ever wanted from her. Remorse. Apology. "Like I said, I stopped being angry a long time ago. Besides, I don't think I could ever truly hate you. You're my first love."

"You're mine too" she says with a laugh "You really are too kind for this world Elijah Bennet". I wipe the hair away from her face, and look in her tear stained eyes and before I know it she's kissing me and I start kissing her back for a few seconds

"No, no, no, no" I say removing myself from the kiss "No, I'm sorry Jen, I...I don't hate you, but I can't-I can't do that"

"Oh" she says with a hiccough "Oh. OK."

"It's just-it's taken me _so _long" I tell her "Years. Years to get over you. I can't go back there, not now, not after I've tried so long to not think about you, to convince myself I was over you"

"Years?" she says looking puzzled "It-it took you years?"

"Yes" I tell her "You really did a number on me Jennifer Morris"

"I never realized" she says. We seem to be standing miles apart once again. Funny that, almost like the old times where we'd be kissing one minute and then there'd be a gaping hole in-between us. "You seemed to go back to your old self so soon I just assumed you were fine."

"You broke my heart" I tell her simply "You messed me up. You messed me up really bad Jennifer. I...well, let's just say I really wasn't well for a good while"

"What do you mean?" she asks

Oh god.

I should tell her.

No.

I've never told anyone

No one knows

Why should she get too?

It's _so _embarrassing

But it's Jennifer

Maybe she's the only other person in the world who will get it?

Maybe she'll understand

I know my family won't

Charlie never will.

She might.

"What do you mean Elijah?" she asks me

I sigh.

This is going to be hard.

I roll up my sleeve past my wrist and up to my elbow joint. The now faint scars are still there. Red cuts, caused by a sharp piece of glass. Jennifer comes towards my arm and visibly gasps when she sees

"You-you-you?" she stammers

"It was only once" I tell her "It was about six weeks after we broke up, and I was in such a mess and I-I was feeling so much and I needed a release. I needed to let it all out, so I did this when nobody was home"

"You...you...you _idiot_" she screams at me

"I know" I mutter pulling my shirt back over the exposed area "I was so ashamed of myself, but it gave me the kick awake I needed. It made me realize I needed to get a grip and take control. I never did it again."

"I can't believe you cut yourself" she says sounding defeated, like she was questioning her very existence

"I can't believe it either" I tell her "I don't blame you for it though, this was something that was down to my own...stupidity, I don't want to call it that. Can't think of anything better to call it though. This one was all me."

"Oh Eli" she says and soon we are hugging again. We seem to stay that way for a while, until Jennifer breaks it.

"I better be off" she says. We look at each other, clearly wondering what is the best way to bid goodbye to one another and decide that a quick kiss on the lips is the best way. I'm not sure why I went for that. I guess we both need some kind of closeness right now, and I'll always feel something for her no matter how badly I try to repress it

We kiss again as she leaves

"Last time" she says

"Last time" I tell her

We kiss once again. She lingers for a while, sticking her tongue in my mouth, before I break it and she leaves me alone. I stare in the mirror, contemplating all that went down tonight, wondering how Jennifer and I go on from here. How do Brianna and I go on from here?

Just as I begin thinking, someone walks out of a cubicle

Darcy.

I look at her.

She looks at me.

Immediately I realize she's just heard all of that. She knows my darkest secret, she knows I kissed both Brianna and Jennifer within minutes of one another, and now she knows every little detail of mine and Jennifer's relationship

"Eli, I-" she says taking a step towards me

"Stay away from me" I tell her in a voice so malevolent it scares me, and evidently her, a little bit "If you know what's good for you Darcy, keep the hell away from me"

I leave her and head out of the bathroom where I bump into somebody who spills their drink all over me

"Sorry" I mutter

"Elijah?" the girl asks

I look up. It's Alice. The cute girl who works in the supermarket who I briefly flirted with the other day.

"Hey" I say "You look nice"

"Thanks" she says "You do as well, although my opinion may be biased because I can see what seems to be a very toned stomach through that white shirt"

I chuckle and look down. The natural whiteness of my shirt and the added liquid has made it practically see through and my stomach is pretty much on display for everybody to see. I look around. Brianna's scowling in the corner by herself shooting me a death glare, Darcy looks to be having a heated conversation with Victoria and Jennifer's slow-dancing with some random guy. Marcus and Amy are kissing. Charlie, Samantha, Jack and Charlotte are still dancing.

My eyes gaze back to Brianna, Darcy and then Jennifer one by one

What a fucked up situation

I feel weak.

"Hey, you could see more of it if we head back to mine" I tell Alice

"I am _so _there" she says taking the hand I offer her. We snog the second we get outside and do not stop until we reach my bedroom over twenty minutes later, we ran home through the rain

She pushes me down onto my bed.

I know Jack's not coming back tonight

As Alice kisses my neck and takes my shirt off for me I can't help but think of Jennifer, Brianna and Darcy. Three women making my life very complicated.

"You OK?" Alice asks having noticed my distraction "I didn't bite you did I? I've been told I do that"

"Wouldn't care if you did" I say allowing her to continue

* * *

**Author's Note: **I have mixed feelings on this one, I'll be honest. It's very good for Elijah and understanding who he is, why he's the way he is but for the overall advancement of the "P&P" elements of the plot...not so much. I also hope Jennifer came across well. In my view, her actions are unforgiveable but understandable. She was in love with a guy who got a lot of other attention, and her paranoia overcame her, doesn't mean she should've tried to seduce his brother or any of the other things she did. But she's human. Her actions don't come from a place of evil is all I'm saying, and neither do Darcy's as we'll be finding out very soon when the whole motley crew of Bingley's descend onto the Bennet's for dinner in a very funny chapter. A lot funnier than this one which was overly angsty, I know, but I really wanted to explore Elijah and Jennifer's relationship in depth as well as give reasons for his promiscuity. Some people use drugs, others drink, Elijah uses sex.

**Review Replies:**

**DizzyLizzy.60: **I agree it's very rare to see straight characters, no less male ones, do this but Elijah and Charlie have been friends since they were babies and they're both very naturally affectionate and caring people who've never had trouble showing their love for one another. Elijah is completely unphased by Charlie's sexuality, he's still Charlie to him - still that boy he grew up with. I think Charlie's still got a bit of a crush on Eli, but it's very little and purely Charlie just appreciating the fact that his best friend is hot. Elijah's also very physically affectionate with his brothers. The guy just loves a bromance. Jennifer fucked up majorly that's for sure, despite his lingering feelings of love and their kiss in this chapter, Elijah knows this. In the words of Taylor Swift, they are never, ever getting back together. Like ever.

**Guest: **Thank you! Welcome to the story!

**LoveInTheBattlefield: **Thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy the story

**MP: **It was predictable, but I had to get her there somehow. I genuinely think Darcy didn't realize quite what inviting Jennifer would do to Eli, as we'll find out soon she's not the best at social/emotional things like this

**Guest: **Hmmmmm indeed, hope I retained your interest

**aishteru naru: **Poor Eli indeed, Jennifer really did a number on the poor guy.


	13. Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner?

Chapter Thirteen

OK, so if anything positive can be gained from the meal at Netherfield the other night - and let's be honest, not much can - it's that my opinion on Charlotte Bingley is now a lot better than it was originally. I don't usually get things wrong, but I can happily admit that I got dear little miss Bingley wrong; she's genuinely nice, smart, sensitive and funny and she clearly likes Jack a hell of a lot. Charlie's boasting because it's only the third time in my life that I've admitted I was wrong about something; the other two being the moon landing not being real (everyone goes through a stage of questioning the government's every move at 15 don't they?) and the other time was after I insisted that it would be Peggy Mitchell who topped Archie in _EastEnders _like six years ago, when it was in fact Stacey, and I had to admit I was wrong because there was visual proof via a very dodgy live episode. So, yeah, Charlie boy is fairly happy that I've admitted I had Charlotte all wrong and Jack has now gone on four dates with her, if you count the wedding where they met and last Saturday's sad mess of a night as dates.

So, yeah, it's been a few days and honestly, I'm alright. I had sex with Alice from the meat aisle at the supermarket and we exchanged numbers, though for once she doesn't seem that bothered about maintaining a communication which is good for me because I really don't think I'm in the right frame of mind to be getting into anything serious right now. As for Jennifer, I've heard nothing from her and not bumped into her once since Saturday - granted I've only been leaving the house for work, but she hasn't been there since - and Charlotte seems to have understood that I _really _do not want to see Darcy anytime soon and has ceased talking about her in my presence. Jack is concerned for me at the moment, he says my behaviour is similar to how it was when Jennifer and I broke up, but I'm in a much more mentally sound frame of mind. Not _actually _mentally sound, as I'm fairly unhinged on a day to day basis, but I've certainly got more a hold of my faculties than I did the last time. There's nothing to mourn. As for Brianna...well, she's not talking to me either and thought that would've been my dream come true five years ago as it goes now I do feel guilty about it. Not extensively guilty, but there's definite guilt in there. She was getting over me, finally being able to see me as being a friend and then I go and nearly shag her in a toilet cubicle, then reject and ignore her after we're interrupted. I'm a shit person.

"You're not a shit person" Charlie tells me for what must be the five hundredth time this week. It's Tuesday. "You're not a _great _person, but it's not like you're totally cold, calculating and callous"

"That's true" I say "I am no Darcy"

I've told Charlie everything, mainly because he walked into my bedroom on Sunday night and found me crying - it was a moment of weakness - and I pretty much just spilled every little detail and honestly, I felt a lot better for finally being able to tell someone who I know truly cares about me. Jennifer thinks she does, but she's only fooling herself, and Darcy probably wishes I'd pierced a vein and bled to death. From what I understand from Jack, she and Charlotte are on shaky terms at the moment and I know in some roundabout way she is going to blame that on me. The only downside to telling Charlie everything is that he has spent the last fifty hours watching me like I'm some basket case from the suicide ward. He keeps giving me lots of loving validation which, whilst nice, is really unnecessary and only about 2% of the things he's saying are actually true. I'm like the bare minimum of human decency, I haven't raped and I haven't killed...pretty much everything else I did at some point during my torrid years of teenage rebellion. Once stole a policeman's hat. You don't wanna do that. Luckily, they can't hold 13-years old in the station for that long

"Speaking of which" Jack says as he walks into the living room where Charlie and I have been sitting "Charlotte, Carl, Alex and Victoria are coming round to dinner a week on Friday so I'm going to need you here Eli"

"No Darcy?" I ask

"Nope" Jack replies with a smile "She's apparently visiting her little brother down in London or something so she can't come, although if you ask me I think there may have been a little fibbing involved"

Of course there was, she's avoiding me, and rightly so as I don't think I'd be able to cope around her at the moment. I haven't told Jack everything yet, though Charlie does think I should as Jennifer's never been great with secrets (though, ironically, when it comes to infidelity she's a pro) and my family could find out from someone else if she does spill. Weirdly, I actually trust Darcy to keep quiet.

"So, how's Mum taken the news?" I ask

"She had to sit down" Jack says with a smirk "With a sherry"

"Oh god" Charlie and I exclaim at the same time

"You don't think she'll embarrass herself or any of us do you?" I ask "I mean, I know I wasn't on board with you and Charlotte at first, but now you seem to genuinely like her it'd suck balls if Mum ruined it, hella ironic too considering that she was the one who orchestrated the whole affair?"

"Right what's wrong?" Jack says crossing his arms

"What do you mean what's wrong?" I reply

"'Hella', 'Sucks Balls', Eli we both know you only speak like 20-year old American frat boy when you're nervous, sad about something or feel emasculated" Jack says. He's right to be fair, I was speaking like Justin Bieber when I got my A-Level results "And I'm pretty sure you're neither feeling emasculated or nervous at the moment, so what're you sad about?"

Damn Jack, knowing me so well

"Nothing" I insist

"Charlie?" Jack asks turning his attention to my best friend

"Not my story to tell" Charlie says with a shrug

"Eli" Jack says slowly turning his head to me. "What's going on with you? Ever since Saturday you've been acting strange...er than normal. Is it something to do with Jennifer?"

"What?! No! Don't be so preposterous!" I exclaim

"OK, there's definitely something going on with you" Jack says seriously crossing his arms, I'd stud up in my eagerness to prove there's nothing going on with me which has now only confirmed to Jack that there is something going on with me "Tell me Eli"

"No!"

"Eli..."

"There's nothing wrong"

"Just tell him Elijah" exclaims Charlie. I sigh and sit down, it's not like I didn't know this moment was coming, but still...it's Jack, how can I tell Jack how stupid I was?

"Fine" I say with a sigh and admit defeat. Jack sits down next to me. I take a deep breath "Err, so, last Saturday I, err, I had an argument with Jennifer and some old stuff that's really, really stupid got brought back up and it's just-"

"What old stuff?" Jack asks with his eyes concentrated on me. Kind of intense.

"Just stuff" I say "Look, you know how I was after Jennifer and I broke up. I was a mess, I wasn't exactly rational was I? I did some stupid things"

"You _always _do stupid things" Jack exclaims "Hell, three months ago I had to persuade not to drive off the roof in a trolley...but this doesn't seem like the usual idiotic things you do, this seems more serious"

"Well, it is, I guess" I tell him. Charlie rests a hand on my shoulder. "OK, look, this only happened one time and I regretted it the second I did and I would never, ever, ever do it again and I never have..."

I take a breath. This is hard. Jack already looks heartbroken.

"But, a few weeks after Jennifer and I broke up" I go on "It was New Year's Day and all of you had gone out, and I was alone, and depressed and I just felt like I needed a release you know...something, something to make it all go away so I-"

"No, no, don't say it" Jack says putting his head in his hands. He takes a breath before looking at me right in the eyes "You promise me you've never done it again after that one time?"

"Promise" I say with a confidant nod and a smile

"OK" he says patting me on the shoulder "Does-does anyone else know?"

"Only Charlie and Jennifer, but they only found out two days ago" I tell him "I never told anyone, I was too embarrassed"

"You could have told me, you know you could" Jack says sounding hurt and now I feel awkward "Eli, all I wanted to do back then was look after you...man, I guess I did a really bad job of it"

"No, you didn't. It was me. All me. You were ace" I tell him "You and Charlie, I mean, you two are essentially the reason I'm alive. When I refused to leave my bed, you brought me food, you kept me company, you were fantastic...I just had one moment of stupid weakness and then I got over it. It woke me up. I knew I needed to move on, get myself together"

Charlie leaves Jack and I to talk for a while, and I tell him everything that happened then and also what went down in that bathroom on Saturday night. Jack, tragically, has taken this news as confirmation that he's not a good brother, which is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, and by the end of our conversation the tables have turned and it's me comforting him. After I've eventually managed to persuade him that I don't hate him, he's not to blame and that he is the best damn big brother that I could have ever asked for (and really he is) Jack heads off to work giving me a long hug before he goes. I collapse back into the sofa and pass the hours by watching repeats of _Friends _episodes I must've seen at least twenty times before, that is until Kieran storms in looking angry and worried.

"I'm annoyed" he announces

"So I can see" I answer "You're pacing."

"It helps with the rage" he retorts

"And why are we raging little bro?" I ask

"Dad" he declares

I raise my eyebrows. It's usually Mum.

"What's he done?" I ask

"He doesn't _get _me" Kieran declares. I laugh a little, he sounds so cliché right now. Marcus, having overheard the commotion, comes in and sits down next to me and we watch as Kieran continues to pace up and down

"What's up?" Marcus asks to me via a whisper

"Dad doesn't understand Kieran" I whisper back

"Who does?" scoffs Marcus. I smirk a little, though feel a little bad as Kieran genuinely looks very upset despite his cliché problem. Teenage boy doesn't see eye to eye with his father, how many times have we seen that before? I went through a stage of not getting along with Dad because we had different opinions. Then I turned 13.

"GUYS, THIS IS SERIOUS" Kieran shouts. Marcus and I look away from one another from fear of laughter "I told Dad I didn't want to go back to school for sixth form, but he won't have it. He says I have to. God, I hope I fail"

"Kieran, if you fail your GCSE's I'm going to smack you around the head" I tell him sternly. Where the hell's he gonna get without any GCSE's?

"No, obviously I don't want to _actually _fail" he confirms "I just really, really don't want to go back to school"

"Why not? I love school" pipes up Marcus. Kieran looks like he's been punched in the face.

"Yeah, cos you're smart" he says "I'm thick."

"Stop calling yourself thick Kieran, you're not thick" I tell him "Just not academic, that's all. There are different ways of measuring intelligence"

"That may be true, but it doesn't mean he's not gonna find school hard" reasons Marcus looking surprisingly genuinely concerned for our little brother "Kieran, it's your life, if you don't wanna go. Don't."

"Or get yourself expelled" I suggest "I can give you some excellent ideas, the only thing I'll struggle on is getting you caught because Charlie and I were fucking masters of sleuth at that school"

Marcus rolls his eyes. He's jealous of my rebellious spirit.

"Eli, will you talk to dad for me. Please." Kieran says pleadingly as he sits down next to me "It's just, you're clearly his favourite-"

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are" Kieran and Marcus reply at the same time

"Look, Elijah, please just do it" Kieran continues "I know he might still say no, but he's more likely to say yes if he talks to you. He dismisses everything I say because he thinks I'm too young to know what I want"

"What do you want?" I ask him

Marcus looks curious too as we both turn to look at Kieran who smiles and blushes a little bit

"I'm going to be a plumber!" he announces

O...K

Didn't see that one coming

Not gonna lie.

Did not see that coming

"Great" I tell him with a nod and a smile, as does Marcus, and oh my god, if you think you've never seen true happiness before you should see the look on Kieran's face right now.

"Yeah, that's fantastic" Marcus says "And hey, plumbers do actually earn more than you think"

"And I hear it's quite technical and shit" I say, Kieran is beaming so hard right now. It's kind of precious. Stupid little brother being all cute and shit; why can't he be openly aggressive, dickheadish and a menace to society like most sixteen year old boys? Why does he have to be so god damn nice and endearingly dippy. "No way you doing that unless you're like super smart and know what you're doing"

"There's a plumbing course at the college next year" Kieran says excitedly jumping up, evidently Marcus and I have been the first people to not either scoff or brush off Kieran's, admittedly bizarre, life goal "My friends keep laughing at me, but I really, really wanna do it"

"And you're going to!" I exclaim "Kieran, if it's the last thing I ever do I am going to get you on the plumbing course. Not only will it make you happy, but you're good-looking, so you'll be breaking various stereotypes. No one's gonna complain if they have to look at your arse"

"You know Eli, sometimes you take things a bit far" Marcus tells me

"Yeah I'm sensing that" I say patting Kieran on the shoulder and heading out of the living room and towards Dad's study - code name for the guest bedroom which has a book shelf - we're not typically ever really allowed in here, Dad needs to get away from the hustle and bustle of family life just as much as the rest of us do sometimes so I can hardly begrudge him his makeshift study. How he manages to fit all of his train sets in there I will never know.

I knock on the door

"Who's there?" he asks

"Eli" I reply

"Come on in" he says

I open the door and walk inside to find my Dad reading sitting on a chair by the desk, I sit down on the little bed to the side

"I assume you're here to plead young Kieran's case" he says turning a page without even looking down at me

"Yeah" I tell him "Dad, you should've heard him talk about that course earlier, he was so animated, so excited when I told him it wasn't a bad idea"

"You said that to him?" Dad asks suddenly becoming a lot more involved, he seems almost angry

"Yep" I persevere. I do not fear my Dad in any way, shape or form and my ability to debate and stand up for myself is one of the reasons he likes me so much and why we've got such a good relationship "Kieran is really, really passionate about this Dad - and I think he could be good at it too, he's always been able to fix things easily, and it'd make him happy. Surely that's the most important thing"

"Financial security will make him happy" Dad replies "A safe job will make him happy, two holidays a year will make Kieran happy, visiting strangers homes and fixing their sinks may keep him happy day to day but he's going to struggle"

"Dad, Kieran _needs _to struggle" I tell him "He's lived his whole life this sheltered, pampered little prince, he never had to worry about money growing up like Jack and I had to. He's never had a Christmas where he's not got everything he's ever wanted and more, he doesn't know what it's like to struggle. To struggle like we used to do, I remember, and I know you like to pretend I don't. Jack does too."

Dad slumps, we lost the house when I was four and Jack was six and although Kieran had been born at that point, he was still only a baby and by the time he was two Dad had clawed his riches back.

"So you're saying your brother is spoiled" he asks

"Yes." I say with a determined nod "Kieran, Aiden and even Marcus to an extent are spoiled. Now Dad, I love Kieran more than...well, more than I can comprehend to be honest but he is a spoiled entitled little shit at the best of times, and a downright brat at the worst. So yeah, maybe he does need to struggle, maybe he does need to realize that not everybody lives how we do. He thinks The Jeremy Kyle Show is fiction for fuck sake, it's never occurred to him that people like that are real people. In Kieran land, everyone goes to private school and owns horses. Now come on, is that a good way to spend your life?"

"You raise some good points Elijah" Dad says with a sigh "I have no objections to Kieran doing whatever he wants, as long as he gets his A-Levels. I think that will be a fair enough compromise - don't you?"

"I'll try and sell it to him" I say getting out of the study with a satisfied smile on my face, I'd made a dent in the armour

* * *

So, guess which Bennett brother drew the short straw and now has to spend several hours helping a very stressed out and panicked Mum in the kitchen preparing the meal for tonight

Yes, get it in one

Muggings' here.

I don't know why, none of us Bennett lads are exactly great cooks but of all of them I am by far the worst. I set fire to soup once. The kitchen and I just do not see eye to eye when it comes to cooking, and neither do Mum and I which had made for a very trying afternoon so far, the conversation of which has mainly involved:

_"Elijah, have you peeled those potatoes?"_

_"Yes mum"_

_"Don't lie to me!"_

_"I'm not lying to you!"_

_"Do I look like I was born yesterday"_

_"Not unless you age at the speed of light now"_

_And then, she hits me around the head with a ladle_

So, yeah, that's pretty much been my afternoon so far and it took Mum a disturbingly long time to believe that I'd actually done what she asked and peeled and washed all of the potatoes. I don't see why we couldn't have just bought store frozen roast potatoes like we do every week, but according to Mum the likes of Charlotte, her brothers and Victoria will be used to a more fine dining experience. I've let her go along with this belief thus far, even though judging from the state of the bins in the kitchens at Netherfield they've all essentially been living off takeaway pizza and various types of pot noodle over the six weeks they've been here. Dad has taken all my brothers up to the Rugby Club to watch the local team play, normally I'd find those matches boring as sin but I'm wishing I was there.

"You know" Mum says as she's about to put the chicken in the oven "Maybe, we shouldn't have chicken? Maybe they won't think it's refined enough"

"So? They're coming to our house for dinner" I say finally being able to sit down at the little table. I rest my head in my hands. I'm tired. "It's etiquette or whatever to eat whatever your host puts infront of you isn't it? That's what you always told me when we'd go around to the Roberts' for dinner and they'd put quiche infront of me"

I'd had a bad experience with quiche when I was about seven that swore me off the stuff for life. We were at a school fete in the summer and there was a plate of, what I assumed to be pizza, and I got a very nasty shock when I bit into it and I've been sworn off the stuff ever since.

"Yes, I suppose you're right" she says with a sigh as I raise my eyebrows, Mum never think I'm right "Well, Elijah, thank you for your help this afternoon even if it hasn't been easy"

"You're welcome" I tell her before leaving the kitchen to go and have a shower before everyone else comes back and we need to start getting ready, with the amount of fuss Mum was going to you'd think we were hosting a coronation or something. I check my phone once I reach Jack and I's bedroom, no text or call from Brianna as of yet however Charlie appears to have joined my Dad and brothers up at the Rugby Club, I put my phone down and can't help but feel guilty and frustrated about Brianna. Maybe I should text her first? Or should I just leave her? I don't know what to do, I've never had to worry about getting into contact with Brianna before because she has always just been there, even if I've not wanted her. My chest feeling a little heavy I walk to the shower where I spend most of my time being angsty and contemplating what to do about the predicament I'm currently finding myself in.

Jennifer's back, and really I should try and talk to her at some point too, after all I did tell her I was no longer angry with her and we had kissed. Then there was Alice, the first girl I'd had sex with in months and I've always made it my mission to at least try and take the girl out for a drink afterwards, see if there's anything worth carrying on for and if there is we'd date for a little while. I really did not want to become that one-night stand kind of guy, luckily I know where to find Alice. Then there's Darcy; Darcy who is somehow expected to stay out of my way forever despite the fact that her best friend and my eldest brother are slowly falling for one another. The whole thing is just one big mess at the moment, and then to throw in my worries regarding Kieran and Marcus, who's being too shy about seeing Amy Johnson again, it's a wonder I haven't had some kind of mental breakdown yet.

There had been an awkward moment earlier in the afternoon when I was helping Mum, I spilled some hot water over the scar I'd received after my stupid journey into self harm three years ago, and Mum's maternal instincts must've kicked in because she was over like a shot and put my hand under cold water. She'd noticed the scar, and I'm not entirely convinced that she believed my story of cutting it accidentally on some glass a few years ago and that I'd shown her at the time. She'd said a mother would always remember something like that, but had dropped the matter soon after but I know it's not the last I'll have heard on the subject. Because, as frustrating and insensitive as Mum can be, she's still a Mum and she still cares a hell of a lot and comes across like a wounded lioness whenever any of us are hurt or injured. Granted, sometimes she can be downright cruel - telling me I should stick by Jennifer, even after finding out how she'd treated me - but ultimately when it came down to it she would fight for us and I'm sure if she did find out - which she's not going to - she'd probably change her opinion of Jennifer in a heartbeat.

I start getting dressed in my room, and check my phone to see a message from Brianna asking if we can talk sometime. I text back and tell her that tonight is not a good night as we have people over, but I'll be free tomorrow morning to see her and she texts back that that's fine and I can't help but feel a little relieved and more jovial as I head downstairs into the living room to find Kieran, Marcus and Aiden watching television. I feel bad for Kieran, he and Dad have had another row about his future, and now Dad has outright banned Kieran from ever going to college to do what he wants to do. I suppose Kieran has no one to blame but himself really, he kind of exploded when I told him what Dad had offered as a compromise (which, to be fair, I thought was actually pretty reasonable - Kieran would still get his job, but he'd also have more qualifications). He didn't see it in the same why I did, Kieran argued that it was just Dad's clever way of controlling and manipulating him into doing something he didn't want to do. Kieran knows he won't be able to keep up with the jump from GCSE to A-level, which to be fair is true, and thinks that Dad thinks that if he does go back to sixth form then his head will be turned to greater interests. Dad, of course, didn't see this as a bad thing and then the whole crux of the argument came to the fore; Dad considers plumbers to be thick and common and would rather not have one in the family. Seriously. For all the love I have for my Dad and for how close we are, I do sometimes forget that he is just your average _Daily Mail _reader which does make me question his intelligence every now and a again. For instance, this exchange last year:

_"Oh Christ, Islam's coming!" he'd exclaimed in horror at the dinner table whilst reading the paper. Mum gasped._

_Me and my brothers all looked at one another with a mixture of confusion and amusement before I coughed and said, very slowly, "Dad, I don't know how to tell you this...but-but, it's already here"_

So yeah, as much as I love my Dad we don't see eye to eye on any social or political matters. When he remarks that Charlie is an "alright gay" and "one of the good ones" you kind of stop even trying to fight against it, he's in his 50's now and very clearly set in his ways and no amount of persuasion, debate or argument from me is going to change it. Of course, this also means my father is extremely classist and considers occupations such as plumbing, being a mechanic or building extremely 'working class' and therefore not what he wants from life. I've wanted to be a lawyer ever since I was a kid, so Dad and I have never really had to have this debate as he's supported me all the way; like he's supported Jack in his endeavour to become a teacher and will support Marcus on the road to being a doctor. Of course, he's OK with 'working class' jobs when we're on our way to bigger things - it's why he doesn't object to me working shifts at the Rugby Club whilst Uni's broken up or why he doesn't mind Jack being a waiter in a restaurant in town - but if we were to take either of those as a career, he'd object to the high heavens about it.

So, Kieran and Dad had a big row and now neither of them are speaking to the other and it's made Kieran very sad and angry because he's terrified of going back to school. I've taken his side in this, mainly because he needs someone too and like I said before, Kieran has this ability to tug on my heart strings like none of my other brothers and it does physically hurt to see him unhappy, especially when he's usually such a cheerful and outgoing kid.

"How we doing boys?" I ask as I sit down next to Kieran

"Fucked off we have to sit through this meal thing" Aiden replies "I don't see why Jack can't just take his bird out for dinner, why do we have to sit through a meal with her stupid relatives"

"Charlotte probably thinks the exact same thing about Jack's stupid relatives" I say hitting him around the head "And I don't want any rudeness from you tonight, this is important to Jack no matter how much he insists that it isn't"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Aiden exclaims. Ah, to be 15 and angry at the world.

"Well, you don't listen to anyone else, and it would be illegal for Dad to smack you if you didn't do what he says" I tell Aiden "Me on the other hand, not so much...this is important to Jack, so buck up"

Aiden doesn't reply, flips the bird at me and sits watching the television in silence and I know that in theory I have won the argument. Aiden listens to very few people, and normally I'm not one of them, but every so often - normally after the threat of physical violence, because if last Christmas Day's arm wrestling contest proved anything it's that I'm the strongest member of this family and have nice the nicest biceps - he'll listen to me and take my advice on board.

"You alright bud?" I ask Kieran

He nods. I don't believe him. _Fuck_.

"So, err, Marcus...how's Amy?" I ask after a few seconds of silence

"OK, I think, I wanna ask her out again" he says

"Then why don't you?" asks Aiden unsympathetically "Just grow a pair and do it already"

"It's not that easy" Marcus exclaims

"Course it is" replies Aiden "I don't even ask girls these days, I more tell them"

That's concerning.

Marcus and Aiden continue to back and forth for a while until I tell them both to shut up and we all sit in silence until the doorbell rings and we're ushered into the dining room by a rather perplexed looking Dad. Kieran shrugs Dad's arm off him when Dad tries to guide him, I can hear Dad sigh a little and do feel a little bad for him as he's likely got Kieran's best interests at heart and he's just stuck in his ways. Making our way into the living room I find Victoria, Alex and Carl being cornered and spoken at rather than too by Mum whilst Jack and Charlotte are sitting very close together at the table and looking generally very interested in one another. I kind of don't want to save the other three from Mum, but I know I have to do it for Jack so immediately make my way over and say hello to everyone.

"Elijah, will you come and help me dish the food out?" Mum asks after several minutes of chatter between us all. Luckily, I've left Carl, Alex and Victoria in the care of Marcus who is the only family member I actually trust at this point, as much as I love Kieran and occasionally like Aiden. I follow Mum into the kitchen where, to my surprise, I find she has indeed changed the food from chicken to lamb.

"Mum, what's with the lamb" I ask

"I panicked" she says "So, I rushed out to the store and bought some lamb. Lamb has a more refined taste"

"Why does this all matter to you so much?" I ask her "People have come to our house for a meal, it's supposed to be fun and nice and you're sending yourself to insanity more than usual"

"I just want everything to be perfect" she exclaims

"Stop forcing it and it will be" I tell her as I take two plates and head back into the dining room where everyone is sitting. I give Charlotte and Victoria theirs first, because they're our guests and women because apparently I do subconsciously succumb to both gender and societal norms. It takes me about five minutes, but I get everyone's good infront of them before practically dragging Mum into the dining room to sit and eat and everyone digs in.

"Darcy sends her apologies" Charlotte tells my parents "She would have liked to come but her brother needed her down in London"

"I didn't know Miss Williams has a brother" Mum comments

"Oh yes, his name's Jonah" says Charlotte "He's only 17, we asked him if he wanted to move up here with us but he wanted to stay in London with his friends for the summer"

"What about their parents" asks Mum.

Jack coughs and looks uncomfortably at the ground, clearly he knows something we don't judging by how the rest of them look right now.

"Oh they-they died a few years ago" Charlotte murmurs looking red. Well, shit. She's an orphan. Great.

"Oh" says Mum looking down at her food. We all sit in silence for a minute or so until Aiden, ever the king of tact, pipes up "How did they die?"

"AIDEN" the whole Bennet clan, myself included, scream at the same time. Jack looks like he's about to cry. Mum _is _crying.

"What?" he asks looking genuinely confused

"No, no, it's okays" says a flustered Charlotte "They died in a car crash"

"What kind of-OUCH ELI" screams Aiden once I've given the brat a nice swift kick under the table, we now fall into more of an uncomfortable silence. Mum's looking increasingly unhinged, looking back and forth at everyone evidently trying to come up with some kind of conversation, feeling bad for her I cough and ask Alex: "Have you guys thought about joining the Rugby team? They could do with a few more lads"

"I've given it a little thought" Alex replies "I was quite good at school, and I've not really been doing that much excersize since we moved here. Are you guys on it?"

"I was until a few years ago, Jack too" I tell him "But I decided to give it up when I started Uni, didn't have the time"

"Where do you study" Alex asks me

"Law at York" I reply "Gonna be a lawyer, I hope so anyway, I got the idea because Mum always said I was stubborn and I can earn over £100,000 a year"

"You're so cute" Victoria tells me. I raise my eyebrows and look in confusion at my family, all of whom look equally as confused

"So Jack's going to be a teacher, Elijah is going to be a lawyer and Marcus is going to be a doctor" Mum says proudly "And we have big plans for Aiden as well, he's very intelligent"

Kieran slumps into his chair at the absence of his name and I want to hug him because he looks utterly defeated.

The conversation continues to flow and I move myself next to Kieran to which he smiles at me with appreciation, neither of us talk and listen to the conversation at hand which has been directed to Jack and Charlotte's relationship as well as everyone giving Marcus advice on how to successfully ask Amy Johnson out on a second date.

"You OK?" I murmur to him

"Not really" he mutters back to me. No one's listening to us.

"I'm sorry" I tell him

"Why? You're the only person in the whole world who gets it" says Kieran sadly looking at me

"So, Kieran, what are your plans" Carl asks suddenly, I'm annoyed he's asked but to be fair to the guy he doesn't know the nuance of the situation at hand. "We've heard about everyone else"

"Well, he's just done his GCSE's" Dad says "And he'll be going back to school in September to study his A-Levels, and then Uni, but we're not quite sure on a career yet _are we_ Kieran?"

"No, not yet" Kieran murmurs

"Oh well, you've got loads of time to figure it out" says Charlotte kindly, bless her, she has no idea what she's getting into. I should probably warn her of the many downsides to becoming a member of this family if she's truly serious "I didn't decide for years what I wanted to do"

"Yeah, I guess" Kieran says

"What would be your dream job?" Carl asks

I want this kids hell to end. Now.

"ONE TIME I THOUGHT I WAS ATTRACTED TO CHARLIE" I announce before taking large sip of wine. Everyone's attention falls immediately to me and Mum nearly falls out of her chair "I, err, I was drunk and it was one time and I've slept with nearly 20 girls since...just thought I'd put that out there...so yeah"

"Fascinating" says Charlotte

"Vaguely incestuous" comments Marcus

"Weirdly hot" is Victoria's offering.

I smile, nod and let Jack break the new silence by telling everyone about his gap summer backpacking across Europe two years ago. Dad and Kieran are now involved in a war of glares, Kieran seemingly having not been sufficient enough in his answers, and soon everyone else picks up on the atmosphere but luckily by this point everybody has finished their meals and Mum begins clearing up

"So, what now?" asks Victoria "The night's still young"

"Why don't we go to that club we went to on Saturday?" suggests Carl

"Yeah, that's a good idea!" Jack says sounding relieved of the excuse to finally leave the house, he looks at me "Isn't that good idea Eli?"

"Fantastic" I say "I'll text Charlie and some others and get them to meet us, make a proper night of it, you up for it Marc?"

"Err, yeah, sure" he says "I might text Amy and see if she wants to come"

Everyone cheers and raises their glasses as Marcus turns scarlet red and rushes out of the dining room to go and get his phone. Charlotte, Alex, Victoria and Carl help with the tidying up and well actually manage to have a laugh together as we wash up because Mum broke the dishwasher two days ago (don't ask how, just know that we're now short several spatulas). I've managed to get us about ten tickets into the club because of my various connections, however I'm a bit annoyed that Carl has called Darcy who seems to have mysteriously arrived back from visiting her brother and is now willing to come on a night out. Granted, we'll be in a big group so we can avoid each other and I can drink, but in better news Brianna has agreed to meet us so she and I can have a proper chat about where we stand. I hope I don't break her heart. That would suck.

All through washing up I've been vaguely aware of an escalating row in the next room between Dad and Kieran, same old row but this time it seems particularly vicious.

"YOUR GIVING UP ON YOUR DREAMS" screams Dad all of a sudden. Victoria nearly drops the plate she was holding and Jack immediately begins to apologize to them all. Us Bennet's haven't been at our best tonight

"NO DAD I'M GIVING UP ON _YOUR _DREAMS" Kieran retorts and I have to admit I cringe a little at the clichéd nature of their argument. I hear Kieran storm upstairs and look at Jack who gestures that I should go upstairs and talk to Kieran which I do because I'm a fucking top brother and I just farted and now if I leave they'll all blame Carl who I've been standing next too. I bypass Dad without so much as a look and head upstairs to Kieran's room

He's sitting on his bed with his head in his hands and tears pouring down his stupid little angelic face. He looks up at me and smiles, I sit next to him and cast an arm around his shoulders

"I'm sorry mate" I say with a sigh "If I could make Dad understand, you know that I'd do it in a heartbeat"

"Yeah" he says with a shrug "Guess I'm just gonna have to deal with being the families failure, that's what Dad just said I am"

"You're not, and you never will be" I tell him firmly "At least not to me, I'll be proud of you whatever you do. Unless it's like you know-unspeakably evil, and as far as I'm aware plumbing doesn't fall under that. Hell, even if it is an evil it's a necessary one"

Kieran chuckles. "Thanks" he says resting his head on my shoulder "You know you're like the only person in this house I can talk to. Seriously. Me and Dad don't get on, Mum blocks out any problems, Jack does care but he never has that much time and as for Marcus and Aiden..."

"Marcus will say the exact same things I'm saying, so will Jack and so will Mum if you get her drunk and sentimental" I tell him "Don't get down about Dad. He'll come around, he always does and if he doesn't then fuck him and you wanna know why?"

"Why?" Kieran asks narrowing his forehead

"Because you, Kieran Bennet, are one of the best people I know" I tell him "You have your faults, as does everyone, but you are kind and funny and god damn endearing, you're gonna make some girl very lucky and you're gonna have a happy life because you deserve it"

"Thanks" he says with a smile on his face

"Hey, there we go" I tell him "Now come on, we're gonna get you into this bar and you're gonna take a leaf out of your heroic big brother's book and drink all your troubles away!"

"Sounds like a plan" he says pulling out the fake I.D. that Charlie and I had had made for him last Christmas, because I figure that we might as well be realistic with the boys, admit they're gonna drink and then act responsibly so we can keep an eye on them...or get drunk with them and face the consequences together. That's brotherhood.

"Eli, you're gonna punch me for saying this" Kieran tells me taking a breath "But I love you"

Gross. Feelings.

"I love you too ya lovely little muppet" I tell him ruffling his hair as he walks past "And we are going to have the night to end all nights"

"Wait a minute" he asks "Were you really attracted to Charlie for a brief second once? Or did you just say that to take some heat off of me?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response" I tell him "Decide yourself"

I am king of the mindfuck.

That story was a lie by the way, Charlie's a good-looking dude, but I am strictly a many woman kinda guy.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So Chapter 14 is going to be a little different. We're going to have a chapter from Charlie's point of view, detailing the events of this night through his eyes as well as him overhearing a very interesting conversation involving Darcy. Also, I think it will be really interesting to see Eli from somebody else's point of view and if it works out well I may write more. I think this chapter is quite funny, but I've kind of been bitten by some writing angst bug because I couldn't resist putting in that Kieran breakdown, and he's fast become my favourite Bennet brother (after Eli obviously). I just love that kid, and his relationship with Elijah.

**Review Replies:**

**ObeliskX: **Thank you! Everything's changed around a little, really all _Some People _has in common with P&P now is the basic structure of the plot. The ending I'm planning is quite different

**LoveInTheBattlefield: **Thank you. This was actually the longest gap between chapters so far, and that may continue as I'm starting University soon though I remain 100% committed to this

**MP: **I think at this point Elijah genuinely wants nothing to do with Darcy, he actually has more of a reason to hate Darcy now than Elizabeth ever did at this stage in the novel. I wanted to give him a proper reason; Elizabeth originally hates Darcy because of his attitude but I figured Elijah wouldn't hate someone purely for that

**aishteru naru: **Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it all

**WendyWho: **Elijah is more of a mess than I think he realizes. He doesn't fall in love often, but when he does he delves in with his whole heart so that's the reason he was such a mess after Jennifer cheated on him. The boy simply loves _too much_. Poor Brianna indeed, but she's about to bump into happiness...


	14. One Hell of a Night

Chapter Fourteen (Charlie)

"Eli? Why are you ringing me? I thought your family had that dinner thing"

"We did, but it went tits up, so now we're taking everyone out to try and salvage something"

"OK..."

Pause. I already know where this is going.

"Well..."

"Well, what?"

"Charlie, come on, we need you"

"Elijah you can't just call me out of the blue at twenty to eleven on a Friday night" I try to explain to my best friend "I might be doing something, I might be having a social life of my own!"

"But I _am _your social life!" Elijah retorts

I do need to work on that.

"Regardless, I might have plans" I tell him. I don't. Unless secretly writing _Harry Potter _fan fiction and eating a tub of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream counts as a plan, not a good one really is it? "Besides, what makes you think I'm even in the mood to come out?"

"Charlie, please don't mess me around" Elijah says sounding very stressed "I've finally come around to the idea of Jack and Charlotte and I am _not _having my uber embarrassing family ruin shit for them, and I've also got this weird feeling that I kinda want Carl, Alex and Victoria to be at least a little impressed with us-"

"What about Darcy?" I can't help but interject with a slight smirk

"She can die in a well" Elijah says bluntly "Anyway, she's coming too by the way - can you believe that, she gets back from her fake trip to London to visit her fake fellow orphaned brother-"

"They're orphans?"

"Keep up Charlie" Elijah says with a sigh

"I wasn't there!" I exclaim

"Look, mate, come on please come out with us tonight" Elijah says putting his puppy dog-eye voice on, it's like puppy dog-eyes but with his voice. He's disturbingly good at it, and he always knows I'll cave "Liam and a few others have said they'll meet us in town, Brianna and her mates did too, we're gonna make a proper night of it and it really, really won't be the same without you...please, please, please pretty please"

"Fine" I say with a laugh "Fine, I'll be down at yours in ten minutes just let me sort myself out"

"You're the best" Elijah says "Oh and by the way, Kieran's coming because he's upset so we're gonna get him to drink his troubles away. This may mean that I need help carrying him home, he's such a lightweight, which is ironic because he's actually pretty heavy"

He puts the phone down before I can react and I'm left wondering what the hell just happened and how the hell Elijah Bennet once again managed to wrap me around his devious little finger. I blame myself, honestly. There I was, September 1996, the first day of nursery and instead of going to play with the plastic cars and trucks on the carpet like all the good children I decide in my two-year old brain that the slightly insane looking hyperactive kid who was playing alone in the sandpit was the kid I was going to go and play with. Of course, little Eli wasn't playing by himself because he was being bullied or anything but he'd thrown a tantrum over the "boring toys" and had taken himself off to play and apparently I was a very empathetic toddler and decided to go and join him and then the union of Elijah Bennet and Charlie Lucas was born. We've been best friends ever since, in sickness, in health, in good times, in bad, in laughter, in tears, we have since then been as constant in one another's lives as our own families. That boy is my best friend, and I'd say I love him like a brother, but that would be slightly weird because despite the fact my crush on him from when we were teenagers is like 98% gone now (I'm only human) I'd probably still shag him if he offered. What? He may be my best friend whom I feel 98% platonically about but the guy is _hot_. But I am happy being his best friend. Genuinely. That comes with its downsides, and I am all too aware of Elijah's failings as a human being (and he is aware of mine, which are numerous). Elijah can be rude, arrogant, snobby sometimes, he's immensely stubborn and insensitive. He thinks before he speaks, he thinks that he's a lot smarter than he actually is and, my god, he used to have the worst table manners known to man. In retrospect, his improved table manners is probably the one positive thing that came out of his relationship with Jennifer Morris. He also has the morals of an alley cat when it comes to sexual partners and how often he interchanges them. He picks his nose a lot, blames other people (usually me) for his farts, actively chases squirrels when he sees them and winds his mother up something rotten. But, despite all of these many flaws (and there are more, I just don't have the time to go into them) Elijah Bennet is one of the best people I know and to see him grow up into the man he's become has been a sort of honour.

I'll tell you a few things about Elijah Bennet, things that I know he'd neglect to include if he was to describe himself to someone, and that is incredibly frustrating because they're his best qualities. In fact, despite his arrogance he actually has an overall low opinion of himself which is odd. The first thing everyone should know about Elijah is that if he likes you as a person, if he considers you worthy of his time then, my god, he will fight for or with you until the ends of the earth. He's incredibly loyal. The second thing everyone should know is that he's honestly and truthfully the most open minded and accepting individual on the face of the planet, let's just say that even if my parents hadn't been so heteronormative and anti-gay then I still would've come out to Elijah first because I knew he wouldn't have faltered in his opinion of me for one second. Thirdly, is that despite his overwhelming arrogance and insensitivity at times, he's one of the best listeners ever, he will let you talk about what's bothering you, genuinely listen and offer advice to the best of ability - you have to admire his attempts there bless him, because the actual advice is seldom any good and Elijah will happily admit himself that he's probably the last person on Earth you should be taking advice from, but people do, and he tries his hardest to help them.*

*I should not he only does this if he likes someone. If someone he doesn't like were to try and confide in him, he'd probably tell them to go and die somewhere. Mixed bag on that one if I'm being honest

Fourth, is that no matter how much he protests this (and he does) Elijah Bennet believes in love. He believes in love like no one else on the planet in my opinion, ever since Jennifer smashed his heart into a million little pieces he's denied that love exists and says that if it does then it's fake or wishful thinking. He tells me this all the time as I have a habit of falling in love with any guy who's so much as nice to me, an assistant in ASDA told me to have a nice day on Tuesday and I haven't been able to get him out of my mind since. I know that Elijah's claims that he doesn't believe in love are bullshit, I saw his relationship with Jennifer Morris first hand and let me tell you if Elijah doesn't believe in love then he played the part very well (he's a terrible actor by the way, decent-ish singer, and he can play guitar but he can't dance. He also thinks he can rap. But that's a story for another day). Elijah loved that girl with everything he had, she knew more about him than I did, he told her stuff he'd literally never told anyone else and he gave his heart to her 100%. Then she crushed it and killed his belief in love, but I know that there is no one in this world with a greater capacity for love in their heart than Elijah Bennet.

Fifth, he's the kindest Bennet boy, but he's also stupid and hedonistic. It's the popular belief of many that Jack is the nicest Bennet and it's easy to see why. He's openly polite, friendly and sweet to everybody he meets whereas Elijah is often sarcastic, rude and comes across as arrogant much of the time. However, Jack's also very sensible and so his kindness and generosity only ever go so far whereas Elijah is a fucking idiot who does shit without thinking, acts on impulse and doesn't think things through and it's because of this that he's done some amazing things, and it pisses me off because he never talks about them. The guy jumped out of a fucking plane at 16 for charity. He sat in a tub of ice once for several hours. Put it this way, Jack's the kind of person who will see an appeal for poverty stricken children and donate the £3 a month whereas Elijah's the kind of person who will see the appeal and book themselves on the next flight to Kenya and spend the whole of August 2012 helping out. Yeah, he actually did that, but does he talk about it? Nope. Never.

Being best friends with Elijah can be exhausting. Like tonight, I've had a stressful day at work because Sharon - let's call her Osama-Bin Supervisor - worked us all overtime and I'm like 99% sure she's only doing so because her husband last week finally had the sense to leave her and she doesn't want to face going home to her cats alone. So, Sharon keeps us obscenely late and by the time I get home I just want to have a bath, and relax, but now I'm walking the street to the Bennet's house because apparently I can't say no to Elijah. Ever. Tonight is tame, I think the worst occasion came when we were 13 and on a class camping trip with school and I won't go into exactly what happened that night but let's just say you do end up questioning where you are in your life when your friend pushes you into Loch Ness at 3.30am. Luckily, in the last few years the ADHD Elijah suffered from as a child and teenager has placated somewhat, though he's still hedonistic and excitable.

"Hey, Charlie" a female voice calls from behind me, to my surprise when I turn around I see a smiling Darcy Williams approaching me. I've never seen her smile, this is weird, and I've heard this girls name way too many times via rants from Elijah be they verbal or over some platform of technological communication

"Err, hi" I say awkwardly as she reaches me and we begin walking together "So, I take it you're coming out tonight as well?"

"Yeah" she says "Tired though"

"Me too, worked overtime" I tell her

"We both must be mad eh?" she says with a laugh. I laugh back and feel like I'm betraying Elijah a little, he'd kill me if he found out that I was having a conversation with Darcy no less one that is actually civil.

"Yeah" I say in agreement "Mad...so, err, yeah...Eli just asked me out of the blue"

"Oh" Darcy says suddenly looking at the ground at the mere mention of Elijah's name. Odd. She's probably cursing him to hell and damnation under her breath "Odd guy isn't he?"

"That's one word for him" I reply "I prefer to think of him as a puppy dog in human form; stupid, reckless and causes a lot of damage but with honest and loving intentions, he never sets out to hurt anyone"

In my head, I know that I shouldn't be saying this to her, but I want Darcy and Elijah to like one another because for some reason, lately, I've been feeling like they'd actually make quite a good couple. He could lighten her up a bit - and god knows she needs it, I've known her for nearly two months and tonight is the first time I've seen her smile - and she could give him the stern control and raining in that he needs because he is a human puppy dog and he does get overexcited.

"I guess" Darcy mumbles, maybe I have cracked the armour a little bit there. We walk in silence for a little while.

Until.

"So...you're gay" she says "That must be...interesting"

I look at her.

She blushes and opens her mouth but no words come out.

"That was really inappropriate wasn't it?" she says clearly cringing at her own words and I can't help but nod "Sorry I just...sometimes...I'm really not very good in social situations sometimes, Charlotte says I sh-anyway, it doesn't matter. Sorry. I hope you don't think I was implying you being gay means you're odd or something"

This is straight up fucking weird. This is Darcy, the rude girl from the wedding who thought Elijah was merely 'decent enough', the same Darcy who acted like a completely cold hearted bitch a few weeks ago by inviting Jennifer along when she knew full well the history between her and Elijah. This is the same girl who has sat in the corner looking angry and hate filled in every social situation we've been involved in together and here she is now being all...friendly, or at least attempting to be, the homophobic undertones of her statement withstanding.

Actually, suddenly she's making a lot more sense to me. Maybe the reason she does all those seemingly rude things is because she genuinely doesn't like social interaction? Maybe the whole inviting Jennifer thing was mainly Darcy being socially gauche not even piecing two and two together? But, she knew what had happened between them, and she was still snarky and rude towards Elijah before Jennifer arrived anyway. He told me what they'd been talking about in the hallway. So, maybe this girl does hate Eli that much. I don't know. Darcy Williams is god damn confusing.

Luckily, we've arrived at the Bennet's by this point and I immediately move away from Darcy and towards Elijah and Kieran when they come into view. Elijah gives me a strange look after clocking that Darcy and I have arrived together at the same time, but evidently shrugs it off and warmly greats me like he always does. He has his arm around a surprisingly vulnerable looking Kieran who's eyes are red as if he's been crying, and I know that if that's what's happened then Elijah will not be letting Kieran out of his sight or grip all night. Another fact about Elijah, when it comes to Kieran, he's the best big brother anyone could ask for. That said, I doubt Marcus and particularly Aiden agree with that statement - they're firmly team Jack, but Kieran has always looked up to and worshiped Elijah ever since we were kids. Elijah used to take advantage of this when Kieran was a very young child; Kieran's natural kindness, naivety and lack of..._academics_ shall we say meant he was a very easy target for Elijah who used to treat him like a servant.

"Hey boys" I say as I approach Elijah and Kieran

"Chaz, thanks for coming" Elijah says "The taxi's should be here in a few minutes, I can't wait to get a few vodka shots down me"

"Been that bad then?" I ask

"Fuckin' terrible" Elijah replies "Luckily, I don't think the others are actually too bothered all though no doubt Darcy will run for the hills when they tell her. Hell, I'll give her a push start"

"Maybe you should talk to her?" I prompt "You know, clear the air between each other at least, you're only going to make things awkward all night if you're both constantly insulting each other"

"I was just planning on ignoring her and pretending that she doesn't exist" he tells me with his arms folded, that stubborn look etched on his face and I concede that no amount of nagging on my part is going to make him talk to Darcy. Elijah says my worst quality is the fact I nag him so much and he says it's like having a second mother, but what the hell am I meant to do? Allow him to run around being reckless, granted I join in sometimes because I have a little bit of recklessness in me anyway, but someone needs to keep that boy in check. People at school used to say we were like some old married couple, because I would nag at Elijah not to forget things and do his work, and then we'd have arguments infront of everyone.

"So, what's wrong with Kieran?" I ask as Elijah and I stand by the wall surrounding the Bennet's back garden as the group waits for the Taxi's to arrive "You're right, he looks proper miserable"

Elijah runs his hands over his face and groans

"He and Dad had a big row again about Kieran not wanting to go back to sixth form" he tells me "Kieran just wants to leave school and start work but Dad won't let him, and then at dinner, we were all being asked about Uni and Mum went on and on and on about all of us but Kieran and I think it made him feel inferior"

To be fair, Kieran is the dumbest Bennet brother and by quite some distance. I do feel for the kid, being the younger brother of Jack, Eli and Marcus who all achieved a lot at school can't be easy.

"What does Kieran wanna do?" I ask

"He wants to be a plumber, that's what he wants to do" Elijah tells me, I can tell he is trying to keep in a little smirk

"Oh." is all I can manage to say. A plumber? Each to their own I suppose, and maybe Kieran would be good at it, but a plumber? That's his life's ambition? Not that there's anything _wrong _with being a plumber but I don't think I've ever met anyone who, at aged 16, had decided that's what they wanted to do with their life

"Yep" Elijah says "I mean, I've supported him and told him that if he wants to do it he should...but a plumber Chaz, a good damn plumber?!"

"He is only 16" I tell Eli, who's looking at Kieran and seemingly genuinely worried "I mean, he could change his mind"

"Yeah, but if he does, then he won't have any A-Levels or qualifications because he won't have gone back to school" Elijah goes on "I want to support him I do, and I hate that he's upset, but there's gonna come a point where I have to tell him that Dad maybe has a point. I told him that if I could make Dad understand I would but...Eurgh, let's leave this for tomorrow and just have a good night tonight"

I smile at Elijah as the two taxi's he's ordered arrive in the driveway and we all pile in; Jack, Charlotte, Darcy, Victoria and Marcus in one and myself, Eli, Carl, Alex and Kieran in the other. I'm still not sure what I make of these people yet, most of what I can base my opinion of them on has come from Elijah and his rants about them which presents a very biased point of view but I've not really talked to any of them long enough to form my own opinions outright, I've been going along with Elijah's for the most part because what I have seen of these people hasn't been great. Carl is unbelievably arrogant and snobby from what I can tell, he's been looking down on practically everyone this whole tie and seems to openly disdain the fact he's spending his summer here and not sailing around the world finding himself like most rich guy's do. Alex seems just as bad, but more aware of his facial expressions, so he doesn't come across as bad and Victoria is pretty thick and uninteresting but relatively sweet natured. Charlotte's...nice, but that's about it. I do like her but she's just a bit dull, then again I've always found Jack the slightest bit dull god love him so maybe they are suited and can have a very boring marriage together

Then there's Darcy. I don't know if Elijah genuinely hates or if he just doesn't like her and is now going on along with the hate thing since Jennifer-gate because now he finally has a reason to hate her. She did something that hurt him and made him relapse slightly into his state from around the time he'd broken up with Jennifer. I'm incredibly frustrated about all of this, because it did give Elijah a motive to hate her when I thought he might just come around to her in time. I myself am not as keen on Darcy as I used to be since Jennifer-gate, but there's something about her that's...well, I wouldn't say it's endearing...but there's something about her that makes me think she's not as bad as Eli makes out. I've seen her do and say things that seems genuinely kind an good-natured, Elijah chooses to ignore them, and she seems incredibly loyal to her friends and if this orphaned with a younger brother thing is true then I'm assuming she was never really able to be a teenager.

She and Elijah are total opposites of one another; he's outgoing and extremely sociable and extroverted whilst she is an introvert who prefers the company of the people she is comfortable around and has known for years. I'm kind of like that. It's why I don't speak much around them, I'm not good with meeting new people which is probably why I've been best friends with the same guy for nearly eighteen years now. I love Elijah, a lot, but I do wonder how much of our friendship is maintained by the fact we both enjoy familiarity and are more or less a part of one another. I had to go away a few weeks ago to care for a sick relative, and honestly it felt like I'd left a part of me behind, and the feeling only went away when I saw Eli again and he said the same thing had happened to him. I wonder if Darcy has that with Charlotte, things seem to be somewhat tenser between them since Jennifer-gate, and maybe that's why Darcy is still acting unkindly and unapologetically towards Elijah because in some roundabout way she maybe blames him?

If you can't tell all ready, I'm studying for a degree in human psychology.

We arrive at the club and immediately meet up with Chris Marsden, Liam Greene and Ben Miller who completed our little group back in high school. The five of us haven't really kept in touch much since school ended, but we always manage to get back to where we left off within seconds of seeing each other again and indeed tonight, before I know it, Elijah, Kieran and I are being pulled into the club and towards the private seating areas. I watch as Elijah heads back to the bouncers and gets them to allow the rest of our group, plus as Amy Johnson and a few of her mates, into the V.I.P section and Marcus Bennet immediately whisks Amy away and they begin snogging within about ten seconds. Her friends just look pleased to be around 'older' guys.

"I might have a crack at that girl over there" Liam says after a while, we all turn and look and realize he's pointing at Darcy. I instinctively look at Elijah and try to read his expression, looking to see if he's jealous in anyway, but he merely smirks and informs Liam that it would be his funeral. Liam, however, does not listen to this advice, gets up, gets Darcy a drink and sits down next to her. Charlotte Bingley eyes him with suspicion as he does so.

"Greene's not getting any with her" Elijah tells Ben and Chris "I reckon she's a right prude, I've never seen her even look at a guy"

False Elijah. She's eyed you up several times before, you're just blind too it

"You under estimate the raw sex appeal of Liam Greene" Ben says as we all laugh. Liam was never the best with women. To my surprise, the conversation between Liam and Darcy actually seems to be going rather well, she is smiling and laughing along at his joke. He probably told her that one about not going to Disney land because they have a giant mice infestation again, he came up with that when our Geography class went there for some reason in Year 13 and went on about it for months. Like he'd never had an original thought in his life before.

"So, Eli, we heard you and Jennifer had a bit of bust up" Ben says after a while, Elijah smiles and shrugs

"It was nothing" he says casually. It was nothing of the sort, but I know very well that he's not about to divulge that information to Ben and Chris. "Just told her what she needed to hear"

"Well good, because she fucked you over and needed telling" Chris says "Also, the rumour mill is spinning something else about you, something I have to admit I'm inclined to believe"

"Yes, I nearly shagged Brianna Fairclough in a toilet cubicle" Elijah confirms with a nod before either Ben or Chris could utter it.

We all laugh before hearing a piercing scream of "YOU CREEP". Everyone turns around just as Darcy punches Liam square on the nose.

* * *

"Whoa"

"Yeah"

"We should probably?"

"Right."

Elijah, Chris and Ben vacate their seats and head towards Liam who is rolling around on the floor looking like he's in a lot of pain, though insisting he's fine. Darcy is standing over him breathing very heavily and looking utterly furious as Charlotte and Victoria take her by the hands and pull her into the unisex bathroom. Elijah and Ben pick Liam up and the rest of us see that his nose is pretty busted up and now gushing blood, the three rush out before Elijah shouts "Chaz, get some loo roll yeah?". Sighing and feeling pretty embarrassed that now the rest of the V.I.P lounge knows I'm connected to the slightly insane people I very quietly head into the unisex bathroom where I'm unseen by Charlotte, Victoria and Darcy who are huddled in a corner attempting to calm Darcy down and get some answers out of her.

"He could do you for assault you know" Victoria says

"I highly doubt that, she broke his nose, she didn't hit him over the head with a crowbar" Charlotte retorts

"Wish I had done" snapped Darcy

"Well that attitudes not gonna help after you've been arrested" says Victoria

"She's not going to get arrested" says Charlotte "I mean, that Liam kid seems like the type of bloke who'd be too embarrassed to say he got hit by a girl"

"Typical man then" Darcy comments. "I swear, they're all the same and only after one thing from women and that's sex. They don't give a shit if we're real people or not, just a walking pair of boobs"

"I highly doubt _all _men think like that" Victoria says

"Well, maybe there's one or two who don't" Darcy goes on "But as far as I've experienced, it's sex or verbal abuse if not. Better to harm them before they harm you"

"But you were happily talking to that kid before" Charlotte says "We all heard you laugh at his jokes, and it's not exactly often that you laugh Darce"

Darcy shrugs and I quietly make my away out of the bathroom without being noticed, so it would seem that Darcy's not quite the introvert I've been assuming. Liam can be a bit of a prick sometimes but I really don't think he'd have said or done anything bad enough to warrant Darcy punching him in the face. I head out of the club, probably looking thoroughly fucking weird holding the amount of toilet paper I am, and onto the street where Elijah as Liam sitting down on a step and they're all laughing.

"What took you?" Elijah asked me as I arrive

"I didn't want to run through a nightclub holding this much bog roll" I reply handing Liam some "I'd have looked insane"

"I feel light headed" moans Liam as Ben presses some of the roll against his nose which hasn't yet stopped bleeding. Darcy must have one hell of an arm. "Oh, and by the way, should anyone ask a big, burly Russian guy did this to me"

"Nice cover mate, but I don't think it's gonna work" chuckles Elijah "Everyone saw Darcy smack you, I know for a fact Kieran and Marcus have already tweeted about it and one of Amy Johnson's friends caught it on video"

"She knew it was going to happen?" asks Liam looking confused. Probably the blood loss talking.

"No you dink she was recording anyway and just happened to capture it" Chris says with a smirk

"This doesn't look like it's gonna stop bleeding" Ben says sounding concerned, Liam is now looking increasingly pale

"I think I'm gonna faint" Liam replies, he starts to wobble a little

Elijah, man that he is, immediately jumps into action and takes Liam to a taxi and drives off with him to the emergency room giving Chris, Ben and me instructions to join them once we've gone back into the club and fetched our wallets and phones. I inform the two of them of the whole history between Darcy and Elijah so far as we make our way back through the club and towards the V.I.P lounge, they both seem very interested and seem to share my opinion that Darcy has the hots for Elijah. To be fair, this development is something that has only come to me in the last hour and a half after several Jaeger Bombs but I digress, she fancies the pants off of him.

Chris and Ben explain to everyone else what's going on as I head to the cloak room to fetch our things, and once again I find myself overhearing Darcy involved in a hushed but fraught sounding conversation

"Do you wanna go home?" Carl's voice rings out. I can't actually see them.

"Nah, I'll be alright" she replies with a sigh in her voice "Don't want madam Charlotte getting angry with me for ducking out of another social event."

"To be fair, you have punched someone, so she's probably not happy with you anyway" Carl points out. Fair enough really.

"Yeah, not my best move" Darcy replies "He didn't even do much wrong, not really, just put his hand on my knee. I guess he thought I'd been flirting back or something because I laughed at his stupid mice in Disney land joke...I was laughing at how shit the joke was though, not the joke itself."

"How does it go?" Carl asks and I immediately leave as Darcy begins to tell it as the last thing I need in my life is to hear the bloody joke again. Maybe it will become some form of trigger for Liam now and he won't be able to tell it again because everytime he does all he can remember is that fist headed for his face, we can but live in hope. I meet up with Chris and Ben and tell Jack, Kieran and Marcus where we're headed and where Elijah is and not to stay here and wait for us as we could be a while.

We hail a taxi down and for some reason Ben pretends to have a twisted ankle because he thinks it's weird asking to be driven to the emergency room when we're all clearly very well. It's amusing watching Ben limp in and out of the taxi, and the continuing to do so as it drove away, which was a slow process as two old people immediately flagged it down after we got out and took forever to get in. You'd think old people would be quicker to get places, they're almost dead anyway. Upon entering the emergency room we find Liam and Elijah sitting pretty near the back, and from the state of everyone else in the room I can tell that we're not exactly going to be some high priority. Liam may have had his nose broken - still bleeding by the way - but I imagine that the doctors and nurses will be more concerned with surgically removing the traffic cone from that man's head and putting that girls' three front teeth back in.

"Well lads, looks like we're here for the night" Elijah says as Chris, Ben and I sit down next to them both. Liam looks delirious and whiter than Michael Jackson circa 1991, his nose is still bleeding and every so often Elijah has to pass him a new lot of loo roll to press against his nose.

"I found out why she punched him" I murmur to Elijah

"Cos she's fucking wacko, you don't have to tell me" he grunts

"No, Liam put his hand on her knee and she didn't like it" I say "I think she's scared of men or something, cos earlier she was going on about how we're all the same and how all men see women as walking sex objects"

"That's ridiculous" Elijah exclaims "First of all, she's completely erasing the fact there are gay men in the world who are not attracted to women in any way, shape or form"

"Like myself" I say

"Like yourself" he says with a nod "And secondly...well, I don't have a secondly because most men _are _bastards and just because some of us, me, aren't doesn't erase the fact there are dickhead men in the world who think like that...but Darcy's still a dick and Liam isn't one of those guys anyway"

"Does anyone else see that Unicorn or is it just me?" Liam asks groggily pointing to the man with a cone on top of his head

Chris and Ben have fallen asleep on one another, of course Elijah has taken a picture and tweeted it to everyone we know. Chris and Ben were kind of like the Lenny and Carl of our school.

"Well, I suppose if one positive thing has come out of tonight it's that we ended up sitting next to the pot noodle machine" Elijah says with a sigh as he gets up and helps himself to one. "Eugh, what a night" he sighs as he sits back down.

"Talk me through it mate, talk me through it" I say, I know I'm about to get a classic Eli rant but it's a good waste of time and we have a very long wait. The guy with the cone on his head hasn't been seen too yet, and he's now just sitting there with his arms crossed and from his body language I can tell that underneath that cone he is scowling something rotten

"Well, the dinner was a fucking disaster and every member of my family, myself included, with the exception of Jack managed to embarrass themselves infront of everybody. Aiden was his usual tactful self, asking how Darcy's parents died after he found out she's an orphan - something which I've chosen now to believe because it could explain why she's so monumentally fucked up. Then upon learning that Alex is 27, guess what the first words out Aiden's mouth were when he found that out. Guess Charlie. _Guess_."

"I don't know" I say with an amused shrug

"'Oh wow, so you must remember 9/11 really well'" Elijah says outraged "I mean...what, how does your mind jump from that to 9/11! I ask you! Oh and then, then, it turns out Alex, Carl and Charlotte were in New York that day and witnessed the whole bloody thing so that was awkward. Then Kieran and Dad got into their argument, Mum accidentally dropped her copy of _50 Shades of Gray _onto Charlotte's head and Victoria nearly fainted, I'm fairly sure the meal was undercooked and then when we finally get out and escape Darcy lamps my fourth best friend...wait, 4th?...1...2...3...yeah, 4th"

"So now, I'm stuck in A&E sitting opposite some moron who's managed to get his head stuck in a traffic cone" Elijah continues

"It was super glued onto my head" Traffic cone guy exclaims putting his hands in the air and looking a little bit like a monster from _Doctor Who_.

"A fourth best friend who's barely conscious, I've left my underage brother in town alone, Aiden's gonna kill me because I refused to let him come because he's too young and I'm fairly sure Jack left his stupid fucking lava lamp on" Elijah goes on (and on, and on, and on) "Do you know how much of a fire hazard that thing is? I've told him to get rid but will he..."

Elijah continues to rant for several minutes, we manage to cover various topics; his mother, his father, his Mum's alcoholic best friend Kathleen who's just got married for the third time though the law insists it's only the second, the state of the economy, Russia, Justin Bieber and how all of these things are negatively effecting Elijah in some way. I like his rants, but this has been a long one and I'm very pleased when Jack, Charlotte and Darcy arrive

"YOU'VE LEFT KIERAN?!" are the first words out of Elijah's mouth when he sets his eyes on his elder brother

"I left him with Marcus, I put them in a cab with Amy and they've gone home" Jack explains and Elijah calms down. The rate at which he loves Kieran is sweet, but quite disturbing. "I wanted to come and see how you all were, and we decided to bring Darcy so she can apologize"

Elijah looks at Darcy and raises his eyebrows, "You've broken his nose you know" he says "And he's delirious too, he's been seeing unicorns"

Darcy looks at the ground and then to Liam who is sort of cowering behind Elijah's shoulder, he's probably unaware it's Darcy and is likely under the impression that he's looking at a Weeping Angel or something.

"Sorry Liam" she says "I overreacted"

"It's fine and dandy sugar puff" is his reply

Luckily, a few more places have been cleared and Jack, Charlotte and Darcy sit down opposite us and we all engage in awkward small talk for an hour until a nurse finally comes over and takes Liam away. Elijah goes with him, looking embarrassed as Liam has reached out and held his hand but Elijah continues to hold it anyway. That's just the kind of guy my best friend is.

"Elijah's done his Superman bit then" Jack comments looking amused

"He's like a better looking Basil Fawlty when he gets like this" I say "Very frantic, but very assertive and I'm pretty sure we all go along with it because he'll kill us or scream more if we don't"

Darcy and Charlotte decide to head outside for some fresh air, they look closer than they had done before at the club, and Jack tells me that Darcy has been genuinely apologetic for what she did to Liam. After talking to him for a while, I decide to go and get myself a coffee where I, for the third time in one bloody evening, hear Darcy having a conversation with Charlotte

"Did you see the way he looked at me" Darcy's saying "He thinks I'm some kind of psychopath"

"I'm sure that's not true babe" Charlotte replies "But at the same time you do have to consider the fact that you did just punch one of his best friend's and break his nose, you're not gonna be his best mate all of a sudden are you?"

"I don't even know why I'm upset about it" Darcy continues "I mean, he literally embodies everything I hate about the world. Everything I hate about men, so why do I care so much that he's pissed off at me? I should be happy...Eugh, this is all just so confusing"

"You're upset because you have a crush on him"

"No-I don't I-"

"You have a crush on him" Charlotte says firmly "Babe, c'mon, we've known each other since we were kids you don't think I know when you fancy someone? You make it so bloomin' obvious"

"How do I?" Darcy retorts sounding outraged

"Darcy, you're normally shy and nice" Charlotte says "I know you hate social things, but you only ever get rude when you fancy someone. The walls go up and there's no use denying any of this because I just know"

"Alright, fine, fine, I have a small tidgy tiny little miniscule crush on him, are you happy now" Darcy says outraged "It's stupid, and it's ridiculous and so unlike me because, my god, he's so immature and young"

"He's 20 and you're 23" Charlotte says sounding amused "It's not exactly Demi and Ashton is it?"

"No, but in terms of mentality it is" Darcy argues "He's 20, and a young 20 at that, and I'm a mature 23. That's like 10 years! He's dumb, and stupid, and arrogant and overly sarcastic and-"

"You like him" Charlotte prompts "You fancy the pants off of him, I can tell, I've seen you looking at him and hey, I don't blame you. He's absolutely gorgeous"

"He's a _child_" Darcy says putting a lot of emphasis on the word 'child'. "He just runs around being snarky and immature and it bugs the hell out of me and there's a part of me that really doesn't like him but-"

"But what?" says Charlotte, I can't tell because I can only see the back of her head, but I'm fairly sure she's got a wide grin on her face

"I don't know" Darcy says with a sigh "I don't what it is but it's _something_, he just has this quality about him that makes him so, so, so endearing and charming. Like, a confidence but I can tell he's also a little vulnerable...I know he's bloody vulnerable, especially after that stunt I pulled with his ex"

"Yeah, that was dumb" says Charlotte

"If I'd have had any idea she fucked him up that much I'd never have done it" she goes on "I wanted to cry when I was hearing it all, he just looked so broken and defeated afterwards, and it just made me like him more. Obviously now he hates me and that's never going to change"

"Lucky, it's just a little crush that'll be easy to get over then" says Charlotte, all the amusement gone from her voice

"Yeah." Darcy says with a sigh as they both stand up and link arms "Yeah, it's just a little crush"

"Not like you faint everytime you touch" Charlotte says, the laugh in her voice now back as Darcy gives her a strange look

"Not the time" she says with a reluctant smirk as Charlotte sings the chorus over and over again as they head back to Jack.

Well.

Wellity wellity wellity

Darcy fancies Eli

I have one thing to say and one thing only

I FUCKING KNEW IT!

* * *

**Author's Note: **So, that's Charlie. I didn't go to deep into him here, I will later as I'm planning some chapters from his POV - mainly around the time that our equivalent of Mr. Collins enters the picture. Charlie's a bit of a geeky fan boy, I hope some of you caught a few references in there. Anyway, I also wanted to see how Elijah and other characters look from another's point of view and I think that's necessary to get a more well-rounded view of the characters. Charlie sees things in Elijah that Elijah himself does not, and I hope Darcy came across better here than before as I'll admit she's actually been my one problem area so far but I hope her motives have been somewhat explained

Eli's back next chapter, I've missed him and his crazy. Oh, and I do think Charlie is still a little bit in love with him but doesn't want to admit it to himself because it could make things awkward

**Review Replies:**

DizzyLizzy.60: Darcy and Eli are the principles, but we spend so much tome with Eli that I really wanted to flesh him out first, interaction between the two is about to become a lot more frequent. As for Jonah, he has friends but is painfully shy so is kind of that friend everyone likes but is a little quiet and introverted. But he's popping up himself eventually, and he and Elijah will have a really nice relationship. Elijah's slowly growing into the older brother role model role with Kieran and enjoying it, and like anything could stop him from giving Jonah advice whether warranted or not! He has a lot to say about things

Kettle Logic: Love your username btw. Hopefully this chapter helped explain what's going on in Darcy's head a little more. She's very guarded and quite damaged, we'll be finding more out about that later on, and everything inside of her tells her that Elijah is the last guy she should like but can't help herself and it's worrying her. I think a little of the reason she's been cruel to him is that she feels helpless, if she can't control herself liking him she can at least make sure he'll never like her and save herself the heartache in that way. Elijah's pretty damaged too but is more open and outgoing than Darcy, and he's not really a deep thinker either.

MP: If I had the time I'd honestly do a side story from Darcy's point of view but I simply don't, I'll maybe do a few chapters in her head in a while but for now I'll just have to make do with Charlie accidentally eavesdropping on her (maybe that could become a running gag)

wendywho: Elijah's more of a mess than I think even he realizes. As for revenge on Jennifer, Eli likes to think that's his style but he's honestly too kind and thoughtful deep down to do anything cruel and she's his first love so, annoyingly, he'll probably never hate her. But she needs some repercussions for sure, I just don't think that it's going to come from Eli.

AlexM: Do not worry about long reviews they're very welcomed! I am so glad you love Elijah, because I love Elijah, he's an arrogant toss pot a lot and can be very inconsiderate but he's got a loving heart and he cares deeply for others. He's not a bad guy at all, just a complicated one hiding behind a front. Charlie, and various others, recognize that Elijah's got one of the biggest hearts going but he's scared to show it, which makes him very similar to Darcy. As for Charlotte and Darcy, they've been friends for ever and as anyone who's ever been friends with someone for so long knows, you love that person but you end up knowing them inside out and they get very frustrated with eachother sometimes. Charlotte's very happy, peppy and outgoing and gets carried away and she doesn't like the fact Darcy's being rude to people.

LoveInTheBattlefield: Thank you on both accounts there!

LucyKatie: Thanks a lot. I absolutely love Kieran and Elijah's relationship, Elijah just loves that boy a lot and the great and funny thing for me is that Elijah doesn't quite know why because they're very different. He just wants to look after Kieran and make him happy, and Kieran looks up to Elijah like a mini-God, so he feeds Eli's ego a little bit which is something Elijah likes, though certainly doesn't need. Darcy's perspective will come sooner or later, like I've said before, I am toying with the idea of a side story for her or maybe like a diary entry kind of thing?


	15. SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME! NO WAY!

Some People

Chapter Fifteen

I, Elijah not-gonna-tell-you-my-embarrassing-as-hell-middle-name Bennet, have woken up in a hospital seventeen times in my twenty years and five months of life. The first ten count because that's how long I was in hospital for after I was born, because _someone _was very keen to leave the womb and let the world embrace his awesomeness, however it would seem fetus Elijah didn't think that one quite through as I arrived six weeks earlier than planned and had to spend some time in an incubator. Mum and Dad thought I was gonna die, it was a whole thing, but luckily I didn't and have led a happy and healthy life ever since

Well, except for the seven other times I've had to be admitted to hospital for a varying number of reasons. I was what you could refer to as an _adventurous _three year old boy, if there was a tree I'd try and climb it, if there was a body of water you know that I'm swimming in it - you know, that kind of kid. So, there I was being three years old and all awesome and shit feeding some ducks when I lean a little too far over the edge trying to throw some bread to the little duckies, smash my head on a wall and have to be fished out so I don't drown. That's hospital trip number one. Result: mild concussion but able to go home within about 12 hours, have developed an irrational fear of duck's ever since. Evil quacking bastards.

Hospital trip number two. Five years old. Playing outside with Jack and Charlie, I decide it's a brilliant idea to play Star Wars because the first prequel film had just come out and even though I was too young to see it yet I was transfixed by the lightsaber fights I'd seen on the trailers. So, Charlie, Jack and I gather sticks together and pretend to use them as a lightsabers only Charlie bless him, never the most athletic or coordinated of guys, accidentally pushed a bit too hard, I roll down a hill and proceed to bleed profusely from the forehead. Result: Several stitches, a week off of school and a very cute apology card from Charlie that I have kept to this day and plan to read out when I'm best man at his glorious gay wedding

Hospital trip number three was when Dad crashed the car and we all had to go, I was about seven and, we still don't know how he managed this, but Dad more or less drove into a cow. I suffered a little bit of whiplash and somehow managed to dislocate my elbow reaching over to protect infant Aiden from shattered glass. How do you drive into a cow? Honestly dad

Number four was when I was ten and fell out of a tree I'd climbed, number five was appendicitis also when I was ten and number six came when I was thirteen and Adam Barrett more or less crushed me during a rugby game and I was knocked out unconscious for a good eleven hours. The last time I had to go to hospital was technically when I ran over the nun, but she was injured not me, so the last time I had to go because of me was when I was sixteen and got whacked in the head by a hockey stick resulting in me, once again, being knocked out for several hours. So yeah, I've death with a lot of physical pain in my life - and I do mean a lot, we only ever went to hospital for the serious things

Mum says I'm a walking injury zone, she's had to whip out that first aid kit more times for me than she ever has for all of my brothers put together.

This is basically my long winded and narcissistic way of telling you that this morning was the eighteenth time I've woken up in hospital, but only the second time I've not done so as a result of my own injury. No, last night was all about Liam and how Darcy broke his nose by punching him square in the face because he'd touched her knee, I'm all for women defending themselves but I have been looking for an excuse not to like Darcy for a while now and I figure breaking Liam's nose coupled together with her general dickishness and her boner for Jennifer is enough to now justify properly disliking him. I'll give her props for turning up to the emergency room to make sure she hadn't killed the guy, but I'm planning to avoid her moreso than before now, I mean if she can punch Liam several minutes after meeting the kid imagine what she's planning for me who she's known and hated for eight weeks now.

"Morning" Charlie says to me with a grin on his face as he hands me a tea from the machine "It was good of you to insist that you'd stay here and wait for Liam, less good of you to volunteer me for the job as well"

"I needed some company!" I exclaim

"Yeah right" Charlie says rolling his eyes "Elijah, you literally fell asleep on me within five minutes of sending everyone else home. I didn't nod off until three hours ago and even then you kept waking me up by kicking in your sleep"

"We've been sharing beds at sleepover's since we were three years old" I say with a laugh "Charlie, how is any of that still a surprise to you? I'm a restless sleeper, I need something to cuddle-"

"Yes, and when it's not some poor innocent girl you've acquired in a bar somewhere it's me" he says hitting me around the head "Still, I suppose at least you proved to certain people that you can be a thoughtful and kind human being when it suits you"

"You don't get anywhere by being kind" I remind him

"Worked for Mother Theresa" answers Charlie

"Well if it worked so well for her how come she's dead" I retort. I really do not want to be having the Mother Theresa argument with Charlie at 8.30 in the morning. Again. I'm too tired. The guy who got a cone super glued to his head started having breathing problems several hours ago and woke both Charlie and me up, we were the only ones left in the waiting room, and no doctors were around so we had to do something. I don't know if you know this but superglue is fucking strong, so the cone wouldn't lift off so we resorted to stabbing it with spoons and other objects to create some air holes which it did and now Cone Guy is still alive.

I'm a fucking hero.

"Once we've picked up Liam can we go for breakfast somewhere?" I ask Charlie several minutes as we walk down the corridor towards the bed where Liam had been kept in overnight. He'd been stitched up and everything but the doctors thought it best to keep him in overnight anyway as he'd been drifting in and out of consciousness, but now we can take him home and try to explain to his shrill and neurotic mother what had happened

"Hey, what if Liam's dead?" Charlie asks with a yawn "What if Darcy's punch killed him?"

"I doubt that" I say rolling my eyes "Though, that would mean I'd finally be rid of her you know because she'd be in prison and everything. God, she would not survive in prison she's way too pretty...or maybe she'd be able to put up a fight, hell of a left hook on her"

"So you think Darcy's pretty?" Charlie asks me looking like his cooking up one of his little plot's in his mind. I should probably squash what he's thinking right here right now, because I've got a feeling about what it is and that feeling isn't a good one.

"Well, yeah, obviously" I tell him "I mean...you have seen her right? She is absolutely one of the most stunning girls I've ever seen but before you say anything no, I am not attracted to her. It may not seem like it but I do go for personalities sometimes, and hers just turns me right off. She's vile."

"So _you _don't like her?" Charlie asks again

Where has this kid been for the past two months? "No Chaz, I don't like her" I tell him sounding confused, I do wonder where he's going with all of this. "She's arrogant, incapable of happiness and I'm fairly sure she harvests the souls of the young so she can live forever in her misery. I can just imagine her being that girl ya know? The girl who's problems are worse than everyone else's-"

"Well, to be fair, she is an orphan as is her little brother" Charlie points out

"Yeah, and I'm sorry about that" I continue "But that doesn't give her the right or the excuse to behave the way she does. Her friends try to be nice and include her in everything and she just reacts with distain and a complete lack of interest, she invited Jennifer to dinner when she knew full well what had happened between us and then she goes and assaults one of my best friends. The fact she's an orphan does not give her the right to do those things or act those ways"

"I don't think she's ever used it as an excuse" Charlie murmurs

"No, she hasn't, but you just did" I snap at him as we arrive at Liam's bed. Why is Charlie so defensive of Darcy all of a sudden? He didn't like her either this time yesterday, and then she punched one of our best friends. He should dislike her even more. We find Liam still asleep so I decide to prod him awake using some old bloke's crutches (the old bloke wasn't using them) which probably isn't the best idea as he's already sporting a quite severe and noticeable facial injury. That shiner is going to shine on for weeks and weeks yet. Liam gets up and gets discharged and we hale down a cab from the hospital car park.

"How am I meant to explain this to my family?" Liam says looking at his reflection in his iPhone "Oh hey Mum, some random girl punched me pretty much unprovoked so I've been at the hospital all night and I have several stitches in my forehead"

"Right slap bang into a glass table!" I say with a laugh putting a hand on Liam's shoulders "Mate, that could only happen to you"

"Oh please" says Liam with a laugh "Elijah you're the most accident prone guy I've ever met. I've seen you walk into lampposts that were directly infront of you"

Ah yes, the lamppost incident of 2005. Nobody is ever going to let me forget that until the day I die. Charlie, because let's face it he will outlive me, will probably include it in my eulogy.

"OK, maybe I get a bit battered and bruised sometimes but at least it's all of my own doing, I've never been punched" I exclaim

"Yes you have" says Liam

"_I've _punched you before" says Charlie

"Yeah, but those don't count, because you guys know me and my ways and you have every right to do so" I tell them "No, I'm talking about irrational completely off their fucking head strangers"

"I probably should have thought before I put my hand on her knee" says Liam looking thoughtful all of a sudden "Some girls don't like that sort of thing, maybe Darcy's just one of them"

I do agree with him. Unfortunately. I hate guys who are too persistent with girls in clubs, in fact I've many a near right into nightclubs and bars because I step in when a guys giving a girl grief, I think if I learnt one thing from my relationship with Jennifer it was that women are in no way placed here to give you personal pleasure. If I talk to a girl and she's not interested - granted this is a very rare occurrence - I just back off and find someone else. Don't push. That's just creepy. But Liam wasn't pushing, not really, yeah he may have got a bit too overly friendly but I don't think his actions warranted being smacked in the face.

We drop Liam off at his house and leave him to face his mother, the scariest woman I've ever met in my life, on his own before heading into town to indulge ourselves at McDonalds for breakfast. I don't just want an Egg McMuffin, I need one god damn it.

"So, what's with you and the Darcy shilling all of a sudden?" I ask as Charlie and I sit down opposite one another "Her punching one of our best friends in the face suddenly make you realize she's misunderstood?"

"No" Charlie says with a sigh. I know I exhaust him. "I don't condone what she did, and I'm annoyed she did it, but I heard some things last night that made me see there's a lot more to her than we thought"

"Yeah, that she's a raging psychopath!" I exclaim

"No, she's not" Charlie tells me calmly but I can tell that I'm pissing him off a little so decide to eat my Hash Browns and hear him out "Look, I just overheard talking to Charlotte last night and it turns out...well, it turns out..."

"What?" I ask with half a hash brown hanging out of my mouth. Charlie gives me a look that registers both disgust and fondness.

Charlie sighs, "She likes someone, and I think she likes...this person a lot" he goes on slowly "She was talking to Charlotte in Emergency room, and I overheard her talking about him, and it just made me realize why she does certain things and why she acts certain ways...particularly around this person"

Carl!

I knew it! Those two so very clearly have the hots for one another and would make disturbingly good-looking but disturbingly rude and arrogant children.

"Wow" I tell Charlie "I mean, wow, I always suspected she liked him but I never thought she'd admit it. This does change things a little."

"You're telling me" Charlie says looking a little confused. "So, you're OK with it?"

"OK with it? Why wouldn't I be?" I say "I mean it's not really much of my business, but yeah, I don't have any major problems with it?"

Why would I have a problem with it? They're both rich enough to marry and live out the rest of their lives in the Maldives or New Zealand or Mordor or somewhere that is very far away from me.

"Oh good, I'm pleased" Charlie says with a smile "So...do you think that...this person, feels the same way back?"

"Oh I'm sure he does, he's always around her if you notice" I go on "He never gives her a minute's peace or stops talking about her. He's totally infatuated if you ask me."

"Really?" Charlie says looking more surprised than ever "So, do you think that this guy should ask her out?"

"I guess, if he wants to" I say with a shrug

Pause.

"We're not talking about the same person are we?" I ask Charlie

"Depends who you're talking about" answers Charlie

"Carl" I tell him "They're forever flirting and going off to places together, it's pretty bloody obvious she fancies him"

Charlie smirks

_Smirks_

And look's really satisfied with himself right now.

What is going on?

What does he know?

Oh god, I'm not gonna like this am I?

"Charlie, why are you smiling?" I ask him in a panic "Charlie, what is going on here? Why do you look so pleased with yourself?"

"I just...this is fantastic, and I've just realized" he says with a laugh

"WHAT?" I ask again

"It's you" Charlie says with a nod "The guy that Darcy fancies. It's you Elijah."

...

...

...

...

...

...

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

"WHAT WHERE HOW CAN WHAT?!" I splutter "Darcy...likes me? Me? As in me? Like actually me? Me? Are you sure, are you sure you heard correctly? Are you sure you didn't hear her say 'I like Elijah like I like rich elderly relatives...dead'. Because she doesn't like me Charlie, there's no way, there's no fucking way!"

Charlie bursts out laughing, "Oh Eli, you're so cute sometimes" he says "And yes, I one hundred percent heard her talking about how she likes you"

"But-but-but-but, she hates me, and I hate her, that's our thing!" I go on "This is terrible Charlie, absolutely terrible"

"Oh would you stop being such a drama queen!" Charlie says continuing to find this all absolutely hilarious. This is _not _hilarious. This is the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of human history! And before anyone says it, yes I am including Hitler and his shit in that

"I AM NOT A DRAMA QUEEN!" I shout standing up in outrage in the centre of a McDonald's hereby proving that I am, in fact, a massive drama queen. I bow to the onlookers and sit back down - not really being capable of embarrassment does come in hand sometimes - before turning my attention back to the still laughing Charlie who looks like he's about to give birth at this point

"Why did you tell me this? What did you expect me to do with this information?" I say angrily "Did you expect me to put my Egg McMuffin down, head out of here, hop it over to Netherfield and proclaim my undying love for her that I only realized I had and then we'll live happily ever after? Is that what you thought? Because I'm telling you, it aint gonna happen, I would never leave an Egg McMuffin even for a girl I did have feelings for so I'll be damned if I do it now!"

"I don't expect you to do anything with this information" Charlie says managing to compose himself a little, well kind of. "Actually no, that's a lie, I fully expect you to freak out and act completely irrational about this - because that's what you do - but any normal person would just be able to sit on this information and just not do anything with it"

"I don't know if this has somehow skipped your attention over the past seventeen years Charlie Lucas" I tell him severely "But I am not exactly what you'd call a rational or even a normal human being"

"Oh believe me, I'm fully aware of that" he tells me "I just think you have a right to know, and maybe it could change things a little..."

"Change things? How would this change things?" I say suspiciously sitting back in my chair. People are still giving me odd looks; several young girls, about 14, are watching me with gleams in their eyes. I smile at them and they giggle and start discussing it amongst themselves for some reason

"Well" Charlie begins "I have had the extreme pleasure of growing up with you Eli, so I naturally know you very, very well, and I have to say that I've always known when you like someone. You don't fucking shut up about them, and you haven't shut up about Darcy since you met her"

"That's not me liking her" I exclaim "That's me venting because she's a hateful, confusing, weird woman who's really rude and nasty. I do go on about people when I like them, but it's always about their positive features. Look at Jennifer. I banged on about all her good qualities for two years and didn't even register that she was a horrible person"

Jennifer wasn't always horrible. That's the hurt talking.

"I in no way like Darcy" I tell him firmly

"I just think that you two could-"

"No Charlie"

"But-"

"Chaz!"

"I just think that you need to love someone again"

"No, it still hurts-"

We both look down at my wrist where my self-harm scar is currently being covered by a wristband I'd stolen from the hospital.

Charlie smiles at me and nods and we finish our meal in silence. Feeling bad for being snappy with him, I put my arm around his shoulder as we walked towards the bus stop, and we just had a general conversation both making sure that Darcy Williams did not come up in conversation once.

I honestly just do not know what to do with this information. Should I harness it for evil or just ignore it? Do I tell her that I know and politely put her straight because I know that unrequited love sucks and I wouldn't wish it even on her? Is it love? Or does she just think I'm fit? Charlie said she 'likes' me but that's so vague. What does she like about me? My personality? How could anyone like that? Doe she like my hair? My face? My body? Loads of people like those but immense arrogance, narcissism and an aptitude for understanding human behaviour (bound to happen growing up in a house with a family like mine) has made me like some bomb sniffing dog around girls who fancy me. I can always tell. So how have I missed it with Darcy? Have I been so focused on seeing her some kind of robot completely incapable of feeling human emotion that I've missed her actually showing them? Or is she just really good at hiding her feelings and putting on a front? Maybe.

No.

No.

Because _I _do that all the time. I don't allow myself to feel or show people that I feel, so surely I should be able to tell when someone else does it? I'm just so confused right now but maybe I should be happy? I mean, somebody likes _me_. Genuinely me. Someone might like me and not just for my body. But then again, does she? Does she? Because, and I'll be honest, I haven't exactly shown Darcy Williams the best parts of my personality. I've been at my worst infront of her, because she was so rude to me once, so I decided that being nice to her was a waste of time. I've been snarky, just as rude probably, arrogant and jerkish around her. I've given her evil eyes. I've had a snarky or sarcastic remark for everything she's said. She had one for everything I said, but was that just a defence thing? Because mine were just from outright dislike and a want to embarrass her publicly. I'm such a shitty person, and I've shown Darcy that so how could she like me for my personality?

Appearance is different. You can never truly know someone fully unless they let you but when it comes to seeing them physically, you get it all full sight. You can't make any guesses about it really, so does Darcy just find me attractive despite being most likely repulsed by who I am as a person? Does she just want me because she thinks I'm fit and has heard I'm not a bad shag? Is that it? Is that as deep as this whole thing goes? Because the shallower the better as far as I'm concerned. I can deal with physical attraction. But, despite the fact I don't like her, I get the impression that Darcy is not that kind of girl. She's openly shamed me for being so active sexually, it's clear she doesn't really like that kind of thing, so would she really just be after me for my body when she's made it so clear she hates that kind of thing?

This is all so confusing.

"Earth to Eli" Charlie says suddenly and I follow him onto the bus which had parked up next to the stop. We go upstairs and sit in the middle of the top deck - it's weird, ever since I stopped being 15 I've gravitated more and more towards the front of the bus - mainly because children these days are fucking terrifying. I don't really understand teenagers anymore. I don't really know what an Iggy Azalea is, I just want to get rid of it, and I've never seen the appeal of that Miley Cyrus and her nude swinging from various construction objects.

"You OK?" Charlie asks me

"Just mulling things over" I tell him

"It's only a big deal if you make it one" he tells me "Just remember that, Darcy's not done anything about this yet, so don't go acting all weird around her"

But I can hardly stay the same around her can I? I can hardly carry on being sarcastic and snarky and nasty towards her now can I? I mean, she _likes _me and I don't like her back and I know more than anyone that that fucking sucks and the person you like being a dick about it only makes matters worse. I should be sympathetic and caring and kind towards her, all the thing that I'm not, never have been and likely never will be no matter how much Charlie insists to the contrary.

"So, what do I do?" I ask

"Just sit back and carry on as usual" Charlie tells me "Mate, I know this has shocked you a little but c'mon, you must have noticed her looking at you"

"I just assumed she was trying to evoke the devil to rise up and take me" I reply with a smirk "I honestly never for a second assumed that she fancies me"

"But you assume that every girl fancies you" Charlie says

"Not _every _girl" I mutter

"Look, mate, you know what I think" Charlie says putting a hand on my shoulder, I can't tell if it's for comfort and or prevention of me jumping out of the bus window "As much as you like to believe you're shit for some strange reason, you're a pretty fucking easy person to fall in love with-"

"You think Darcy's in-"

"I don't know" he continues "But, my point is, that someone liking you isn't exactly a new or groundbreaking thing for you is it? Think Jennifer. Think Brianna. Hell, think _me _if you have to because I had those kind of feelings for you for a long time-"

"Yeah, but that was-"

"It's no different Eli" Charlie says with a smile on his face "I loved you and you didn't love me back and it sucked. But, it didn't ruin our friendship like it would ruin most other people's, because you wouldn't let it, you let me know that you didn't feel the same and never would but you were so nice about it. _You _are nice Elijah, and I know better than anyone else, that you are going to deal with this in the best way possible"

"OK" I tell him looking at the floor "But, I did all those things because you're my best friend and life would feel weird without you. I didn't want to lose you, but I'll be honest, I was fucking terrified when I realized...I realized you liked me, but I knew I had to overcome it if I wanted you as a best friend, which I did. I needed you back then."

Charlie smiles at me as we sit back in silence and get off the bus and walk towards my home and past Netherfield. I can't help but look up and I see Darcy looking out her window, we make eye contact for a second and she smiles at me but me, shit that I am, don't smile back and merely turn my eyes away.

Charlie's right. I was good with him when I knew about his crush on me, I've always dealt with Brianna and other girls well, but Darcy's different. She hurt me. Sent me spiralling back into that person I was after Jennifer, and she knows my deepest darkest secret. She's rude to me and my family, she says and does horrible things towards people I love and I can't forget all of that because she likes me. I don't like her. And I don't think I ever will.

* * *

**Authors' Note: **Hello all, first of all I just want to say that I am super-super sorry for this very short chapter, I'm packing for University and have so much to sort out that I haven't really had as much time for this as I would like to write this but I hope you all enjoyed it anyway and I was pleased to write Elijah again. I do love him. He's so complicated and fucked up but genuinely good hearted and funny and...well, needless to say I just love the kid and now he knows that Darcy likes him and, in typical Elijah fashion, has freaked out. Because he is a drama queen.

**Review Replies:**

**LoveInTheBattlefield: **Thank you!

**the-geek-in-the-nook: **Aw, thank you, and I do make a conscious effort to make sure grammar and everything is up to scratch even though the odd mistake is bound to slip through the crack. As for length, I don't have any sightings on an end yet, the story hasn't even really begun yet so this story, and me, will be around for a while.

**LucyKatie: **I'm glad Darcy admitted it, it's the only time you'll hear of it for a while though as she maintains her front around Eli. Charlie knows what's best for his best friend and he's slowly coming around to the idea that Darcy could well be the right person for him; there's going to be a lot more on that front. Still mulling over whether to a Darcy chapter here or a full side story for her tbh. Yes, there will indeed be a Colonel Fitzwilliam when Eli visits what will be a very modern Pemberley. With the exception of the parents, I've changed everyone's gender here so Fitz will be a female character called Fliss (short for Felicity) who will be Darcy and Jonah's cousin who they lived with after the death of their parents. Eli will be great with Jonah I'm sure, he's a genuinely good big brother I think. Haha, don't worry about Darcy, she doesn't make a habit of punching people. Thank you and I'm glad you're enjoying!

**aishteru naru: **Thanks, glad you're still enjoying it

**MP: **I'm glad Darcy's coming out of her shell as a character a bit and I'm so glad that people are understanding and liking her. As for mutual attraction, Elijah's very immature and gauche with his feelings so it will be a while yet for him but I think it's already there deep down. A female Wickham is on the cards, though I am currently thinking about how I'm going to modernize the ending. Very glad you're enjoying the story so far!

**GUEST123: **I update when I can to be honest, updates might slow down a little over the next few months whilst I settle into University but I'm 100% committed to this story so even if I don't update for a while you can rest assured I'll be panicking about now having updated. This is the first story I've ever done that's really taken off so I've got people to satisfy now. Carl has a crush on Darcy, it becomes quite a big plot point later on in the story. As for Darcy's age, that's merely a mistake on my part from earlier. I actually always intended for her to be 23, not 22 as I stated in a earlier chapter

**Alex M: **I am so glad that you identified with Darcy! Yeah, I'd be lying if I say that a lot of my views on the world and the treatment of women don't come out in this story from time to time. Elijah is actually based on a friend, a straight white boy who completely understands his own privilege but is quite loud and comes across wrong to people quite a lot. Darcy completely took Eli at face value, which is why she's so confused now, she can see something in Elijah that shines and it confuses her because he embodied everything she's come to dislike about the male gender. The sad thing is, Elijah's a genuinely good guy who's damaged and hurt and hides behind a front so he doesn't get hurt again. They're so alike in that. Thanks for being so invested that's great!


	16. Hufflepuff

Chapter Sixteen

So, in order to de-stress myself and cease from randomly having nervous laugh spasms in the night which have been irritating Jack, I have decided to completely forget that my perceived arch nemesis has feelings for me...or just finds me got, but either way the fact that that's a reality is utterly, utterly disturbing to me. Coupled together with the fact that ever since she punched Liam on the nose and broke it I'm not entirely sure she's all together in the head, I'd say I have grounds to be worried. What if she kills me because I don't like her back? What if she's slowly becoming more and more obsessed with me to the point that she begins stalking me? But what if she kidnaps one of my brothers or Charlie and says that the only way to get them back is if I engage her in sexual behaviours? Kieran would not hold up well under torture, I'd have to do it...this is probably what Charlie means when he says I have an overactive imagination isn't it? I think it's just for the best if I don't react to the news in any (public) way and let Darcy slowly come to the conclusion that I am a shitty human being and realize that she could...well, not do better than me...but just have someone different, far away, in New Zealand, where I wouldn't have to see her

So, instead of focusing on that aspect of my life, I have decided to turn my attention to work, my upcoming second year of Uni and the welfare of my very sweet and loveable but moronic little brother who has decided that becoming a plumber is his highest calling in life. Look, I know that I talked a good game when he had that breakdown and then I encouraged him afterwards but it really does bug me that that's all Kieran wants to do with his life. He doesn't do well at school, that much is clear, and he clearly hates the place but I don't think he's stupid - simply not academic, and when has that ever meant you can't do well in life? Kieran is talented in over aspects - he's a pretty good all round sportsman, he can dance but he'll never admit it because Aiden has convinced him it's for sissy's and he's alarmingly good at baking - but again, Aiden and his disappointing gender biased bullshit has convinced Kieran that that's not something a 'proper man' would do for a living. Sometimes I want to punch Aiden, who will just be one of those annoyingly horrible people who strut through life never giving a damn about anyone else and whom karma seems to avoid. I told Kieran I'd fight to get him on that plumbing course, but what I really meant was I'd fight to make him happy, and in the long run I don't think this is going to make him happy.

Kieran will struggle if he becomes a plumber. No two ways about it. You're as good as your last job and who knows if Kieran will even be good at it? He fixed a pipe one time, it doesn't make him...yeah, see, here's another problem, I can't even reference any famous plumbers to compare him too. No, Kieran needs a change in direction and if I have to be the one to give it to him then I will be.

"So, we're all decided" Dad says as he addresses Jack, Mum and I following a 'grown ups' meeting after dinner on Tuesday night. Dad and Mum aren't the most natural parents in the world and we're not quite sure how it ended up this way, but ever since Jack was 15 and I was 13 we've kind of become co-parents to the younger boys. Hell, Jack's more of a mother to Kieran than our actual mother. But we really are co-parents; Dad brushes off any concerns the younger two have because they're "young and don't know they're feelings" whilst Mum just pretends to think that there are no problems and that all her sons are fine, dandy and ready to be pimped out and fawned over at whatever social climbing event is next on the calendar. Mum made me take my shirt off at a neighbour's barbeque when I was fifteen just so the teenage daughter could see that despite the fact I'd scoffed eight burgers it didn't mean I wasn't in shape. Humiliating. Snogged her in her swimming pool later and she felt my abs, but still...

But yeah, Mum and Dad are not really into the heavy side of parenting though Dad gets random bursts of it but comes on far too strong and whomever he is shouting (or in his head, lecturing) at flips out and doesn't listen. A lot of guiding Marcus, Kieran and Aiden has been left to Jack and I which is probably why they're all such disasters of human beings in very broad and different ways.

"We are all decided that Kieran is not going to become a plumber, and we're going to persuade him to go back to school or at least college" Dad asks

"Agreed" Mum, Jack and myself reply

"And that the only way to get him to agree to do this is if it comes from Elijah because and I quote from Kieran himself 'he's the only one who gives a flying pigs' arse'" Dad continues

"Agreed" We all reply

"Right then, get on it Eli" Dad says getting up from the table "I'm going to go over the store accounts, oh, and Eli, make sure you do it in a way that makes it seem as if it's Kieran's own idea"

"OK" I sigh completely unsure of how I'm going to be able to manage this. Kieran has his heart set on this, and even though we've all agreed that I'm the only one he'll listen too, what everyone else has neglected to realize is that I'm also shit when it comes to dealing with Kieran be upset. He goes red, looks down at the floor, mumbles and always seems as if he's going to burst into tears at any point and I cannot fucking stand it and back down everytime.

Jack and I make our way up to our bedroom to discuss strategies.

"I'll probably just take him for a kick about or something and bring it up" I say picking up the football that's kept in the corner of our bedroom. "Or, I could get him drunk, get him to say he wants to go to college or sixth form, tape his confession and then take him to court if he denies it and then he'll have to go"

"I think that first idea's probably the better one" Jack says with a laugh "You should probably take Aiden with you, might do him some good as well to see there are other options after sixth form. Aiden's going into his GCSE year in a few weeks"

"Eurgh, don't" I say with a shudder "It disturbs me immensely that Aiden is turning 16 in a few months. He was born in 1999 Jack, I remember 1999, this is not OK. Hell, I remember him being born"

"I just remember Mum head butting Dad during labour, keeping up the tradition of head butting him during every birth" Jack says with a laugh "It's not a surprise that we don't have any more brothers-"

"Funny you say brothers though isn't it, like it's never occurred to us that if they'd had another baby it might've been a girl" I say "How do you think we'd all be if we had a little sister?"

"Well, you'd probably already be in prison serving a life sentence for murder of the first boy that so much as looked at her" Jack says

"Punk ass boys better not talk to her" I declare "I'll end their lives, I know what's going on in those dirty little minds, I was them once"

"You do realize we don't actually have a sister and I was only talking supposedly" Jack smirks

"Yeah well, supposedly, no boy would ever be touching little Amelia" I tell him

"Amelia?"

"I've thought about this before"

"We're getting old now mate" Jack says leaning back on his bed "I'll be 23 next year, that's only seven years away from 30, and judging by how quickly the last seven years have gone by that's really no time at all"

"We're closer to the year 2020 than we are 2007" I point out "There are children born now who have 2014 as their birth year, like, what's the point of being born if it was after 1999?"

"You have a real problem with aging don't you?" Jack says "I can't wait to see what you're like when you're 50"

"Some kids in HMV didn't even know what _A Bugs' Life _was Jack, you cannot tell me that's a way to live" I tell him

We talk for a while before I decide now is as good of a time as any, pick up the football, and head downstairs to collect Kieran and bundle him into my car before driving him to the park in the centre of town. He doesn't seem to suspect anything, but then again he is Kieran, and if he was kidnapped he'd probably believe the kidnapper's excuse of taking him to the zoo or something and go along with the whole thing quite happily. In my head, I'm trying to think of ways to bring this up with Kieran without upsetting him or forcing him to do something he doesn't want to, and I do curse my family a little from landing this job on me, if Kieran looks remotely upset I'll likely cave.

"Why are we doing this?" Kieran asks a few minutes later once we'd parked, got out and started kicking the football back to one another

"Doing what?" I reply absent mindedly

"Randomly kicking a football around a field for no reason" Kieran replies, maybe he's more clued up than I've been giving him credit for? "Do you need to talk to me about something? Oh my god, is Aiden dying?"

"What? No?"

"Oh...well, what d'you know I'm relieved"

"Why would you think Aiden was dying?"

"I don't know. He coughs a lot."

He _does _cough a lot. Probably a reaction to being around all the smoke in hell during his weekly meetings with Satan. Little shit.

"So..." Kieran prompts

"So what" I reply

"So, why have you dragged me out to the park?" Kieran asks again "_Hollyoaks _was about to come on"

"You hate _Hollyoaks_"

"Jessica Renton likes it though. She's my number five." Kieran smirks. Can't figure out long division, yet somehow manages to string five girls along at the same time without any of them finding out. And people say this boy is dumb.

"Kieran, that's gross" I tell him.

"It's no worse than how you were at my age" he retorts "I'm fit and girls like me, where's the harm?"

"On your penis if you're not careful" I exclaim "Do you want an STI?"

"What do stick insects have to do with this?" he asks looking confused

...I don't know either

"Sexually Transmitted Infections" I tell him "You know, like the clap, do you want to end up with the clap?"

"You never ended up with the clap"

"No, but I could have done because I was shagging around and as macho as you think it is and as many man points you think you're getting, it's gross"

"But, how am I meant to have sex?"

"Oh I don't know, find a girl, who you genuinely like as a person then go from there and I promise you that the sex will be the best you ever had" I tell him. It's true too, despite my little adventures post-break up the best sex I've ever had to this day is still with Jennifer.

"Right fine, I'll give it a go" he says with a grin "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Who says I wanted to talk to you about anything?"

"The fact we're in a football field having a kick about at seven in the evening which is something we have never done ever" Kieran replies "And I heard you muttering to yourself on the way here"

"Look, fine, we do have to talk, but when we do I do not want you getting angry and storming off" I tell him "Especially not into the woods, because the sun's going to be setting soon and I refuse to go into the woods after dark"

"You're 20" Kieran tells me

"Have you ever been in the woods after dark?" I ask him "No, no you haven't, now I am your elder and you will respect my ridiculous fears...besides, at least I'm not terrified of ducks"

"WHERE" Kieran shouts immediately jumping to the ground and covering his head. I laugh, despite the guilty pains I feel, Kieran's duck phobia (Anatidaephobia as a scientist would say) may or may not have been my fault too. I won't go into full detail, but really you should blame Mum for leaving a seven year old in charge whilst his three year old brother was having a bath.

"You're a prick" Kieran says with a smile also laughing as he picks himself up off of the ground and dusts himself down. The 12-year old girls behind him giggle and in no way hide the fact they were looking at his arse. 12-year old girls are the single most terrifying thing in the universe. Kieran winks at them and they giggle some more, before I cast an arm around him and walk over to the nearest bench in order to start our very important conversation. Benches are good for important conversations. Especially in Autumn, but we're going to have to make do with mid-summer weather

"You've got yourself a little harem over there" I say as Kieran sits down "You're more popular with girls than I thought, props bro"

"I have you to thank" he says

"Really?"

"Yeah, Eli, I've been following you around wishing I could be you since I was two, d'you really think I haven't learnt anything" he says with a smile "I've always wanted to be like you, my big brother"

"Hey, you have two others" I say, this is making me uncomfortable. Why is he being so sweet? I'm about to tear apart his (frankly confusing) life ambition.  
"Yeah, and they're great, but...I don't know, I've always just wanted to be more like you" he says with a shrug

I tussle his hair

"What's this talk about then?" he says with a sigh "Not that I can't guess, this is another attempt to get me to do back to school in September"  
Damn it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry mate" I say putting an arm on his shoulder but he shrugs it off and moves further away from me

"I thought you were on my side" he snaps  
"I am" I tell him "Kieran, I am on your side more than you know, and I know I said I'd get you on that course, but mate, c'mon - a plumber? For the rest of your life, is that really what you want to do?"

"Yes!" he exclaims  
"Kieran." I say seriously

He takes a breath and pauses.

"No." he says after nearly a minute of silence "It's just...it's just...nah, it's stupid, forget it"  
"No, go on" I say

"The time I fixed that pipe is the _only _time anyone in that house, including you, has been proud of me" he says "It's the only time that anyone's ever said job well done to me, it's the only time I've felt like one of you and don't you dare say you never get praised Eli because you bloody do. Dad bangs on about you to the rest of us all the time. Mum never shuts up about Jack or Marcus or Aiden and where am I eh? I'm the kid that's introduced last _everywhere we go_"

"'Oh yes, Jack and Elijah are both in University, Marcus is predicted A* in all his A-levels as is Aiden his GCSE'S...Oh Kieran? Yes, he's fine'. _Fine_. That's what I get everytime Eli, and it hurts everytime, she always seems embarrassed and Dad tells me to my face pretty much everytime he sees me that he thinks I'm an idiot or a fool. So maybe I became that!"

He starts crying. Not just crying. Not just a few stray tears falling from his eyes, properly crying, properly scrunched up eye-balls, red faced, sobbing his sweet little heart our crying and to spare him the public embarrassment I take us back to my car. He manages to compose himself after a few minutes.

"Sorry" he mumbles  
"No, it's fine" I tell him "You sounded like you needed to get that off of your chest, and I'm glad you did"

He laughs  
"Sorry" he says again "I know you hate it when people..."

"I hate it when people cry on me, I don't hate it when you do" I tell him "You're my little brother, I'm here to make you life hell for most part, but when it comes down to it, I'm here for that"

"You've never made my life hell, you're the only one who gets me, we're both outsiders back there" Kieran says.

We kind of are. It's only been in the last few months that Kieran and I have become this close, but he is right, as close as I am to Jack, I've never really felt like I belonged in that family. Jack, Marcus and Aiden give it some good lip service but they don't really hate the social functions and stuff - because they're the three that Mum will happily boast and sell. She only ever pimps me out for my body and looks, never any academic achievements, and it's been hard not to feel like a piece of meat sometimes. I laugh about that barbeque incident when I was 15, but at the time the last thing I found it was funny.

"Kieran, I don't want you to think that I'm not on your side, I want you to be happy more than anything else" I say, he listens this time "You are so talented at so much, don't limit yourself because the rest of our family can't see it and I am very sorry if I've never made you feel like you've achieved anything. Because I'm proud of you Kieran, very proud"

He smiles at me. "So, what are these other options then" he says

"Well, you're imagining sixth form and A-levels are going to be the same as GCSE'S but that's not true at all" I tell him "You'll pick 3 or 4 subjects that you like and that you're good at, and they're the only ones you do, no Maths or Science or anything like that...unless you choose to do them that is"

"No way" he says shaking his head "So, I could pick like P.E. or something and just do that?"

"Yeah, and you could do Media, where you analyze television and film" I tell him, his face lights up a little. "And there's wood shop or technology, Kieran, if you really wanted to you could do food technology or drama or anything. It doesn't have to be you sitting in a classroom struggling because you're not keeping up, if you're interested in what you're doing, you'll work"

He smiles at me  
"OK" he says with a breath "We'll have a look at the courses when we get back, but before then, can you get me some booze? I have like five parties this weekend"

"Sure" I tell him with a smirk "Helpful big brother one minute, unhealthy influence and law breaker the next...no one can ever accuse me of being a boring big brother"

"God, you're such a Hufflepuff" Kieran says smiling to himself  
"What?" I ask  
"Just something me and Charlie were talking about the other day" Kieran says laughing to himself "You're a total Hufflepuff"  
"Mate, I'm a Gryffindor"  
"Nah. Hufflepuff."

* * *

Once we got home, Kieran filled out a sixth form application and elected to study P.E, Business Studies (apparently he's good and interested in that, who knew? And it's fairly academic..) and Film and Television Media and honestly, I've never seen the kid happier than when Dad smiled and told Kieran he was proud of him after we announced what Kieran's plans were. He's decided to become a P.E. teacher. Aiden nearly fell of his chair when Kieran announced it, but to Mum and Dad's credits they informed Kieran they would support him all the way with it so he's a very happy little idiot at the moment and he even dumped his five girlfriends so he can focus on finding 'the one'. I'm sure she exists for him somewhere, god knows where mine is, if she does even exist, but then again the idea of being with just one person for the rest of my life is a terrifying prospect. If only Mum would see it that way.

I'm at work at the moment but it's boring. If you ever learn anything from me boys and girls, and anything that you do you should probably ignore, I would say that you never agree to work a Wednesday lunchtime if you ever get a job in a bar, pub, club or sporting venue because it is _dull_. I never know why they even open at this time - who drinks on a Wednesday afternoon? It's like the dullest time of the week, the furthest possible time there is between any weekends yet that doesn't seem to stop the crowd of about three middle aged white haired men who come in here every Wednesday lunchtime and we all just sit in the same room in silence for two hours until trade picks up come 3 and people start getting off from work. I do not want to be one of those old, grey, boring men. They don't even talk to one another, it's like they're united but in silence, and never make any moves to at last befriend the others to make the whole experience a lot less awkward. That said, I do have a lot of time to mull over why Charlie and Kieran seem to think I belong in Hufflepuff.

I would kill. Literally kill. For something exciting to happen, hell I'd kill for someone, anyone, to walk through the door and liven this place up a little right now.

"Eli?"

I turn around to face Darcy Williams. OK, maybe I didn't strictly mean _anyone _but at least there's someone to talk to now. I guess. Even if it is a girl who has the hots for me who I can't stand in return and ever since I discovered that piece of information I've been unable to imagine any interaction between us being anything other than awkward, and that was in a group setting.

For the sake of my job, I smile and turn to her

"What're you doing here?" I ask "Doesn't seem like your kind of place to hang out of a Wednesday afternoon"

"I was working from home today and Charlotte asked me to give this back to Jack, I tried at your house but no one was in so then I remembered you work here" she says, handing me Jack's mobile phone that he'd presumably forgotten after a night of passion with Charlotte "I hope you don't think that's weird or anything, but Jack bangs on about you so much I kind of couldn't help but remember"

"Nah, it's cool, I'll give it to him" I say taking the phone from her and stashing it in my trouser pocket, I assumed she would just leave after the transaction but she seems to looking around with intrigue. She's procrastinating work. Has to be. Or is she just staying to be around me because she fancies me and hopes to have a look at my arse when I bend down to get the tonic water? It happens a lot here with the women; I was severely under qualified for this job and Louise, another barmaid, reckons I was only hired to add eye candy for the women. The rest of the bar staff are female, and all of them flirt with me too. It's really quite trying. If I had a penny for everytime my arse has been pinched or someone's stroked my bicep on this job I'd be a millionaire. But according to Louise it's not sexual harassment when a woman does it to a man - she, of course, said this to me as "walked past me" which seemed to involve a lot of brushing against my torso on her part.

For reasons unknown, I find myself asking Darcy if she wants to have a drink, and before I know it I'm serving her a vodka tonic and she's sitting down at the bar.

"Have one yourself" she says

"Not allowed to drink on the job I tell her" I reply

"Since when were you one for rules?" she asks

"Since when were you one for breaking them?" I reply. Slick.

She smirks a little. That's the first time, to my knowledge, that I've made her genuinely laugh.

"So, midday drinking, doesn't seem your thing" I tell her

"I don't make a habit of it" she says "I mean, I could if I wanted too of course, but I don't want to end up a lush. Working from home can be quite boring."

"What do you do by the way?" I ask "I've heard Charlotte talk about it but all I get is some mumbo jumbo about computers"

"Yeah, you wouldn't get it" she says. Then she says nothing else. Great, so she likes me, but she's still perfectly willing to insult my intelligence

"So, how's life che'Bennet" she asks me after a few seconds of silence, almost as if she's completely unaware that she's just insulted me "From what I hear from Jack it's rather chaotic"

"Yeah, you could say that" I reply with a laugh, weirdly whenever I'm not around them, I only have positive things to say about my family. Or maybe it's because I'm talking to Darcy and she's insulted them in the past "There's always some drama or another, I can't keep up"

"I bet" she says with a laugh. Is this like a running fucking joke? I'm bloody clever god damn it

"So...assaulted anymore guys recently" I ask her in the politest, nicest way I can which probably isn't very polite or very nice

She laughs again. She actually laughs.

"Not my proudest moment, I hate violence, but your friend sorry to say was pushing it a little" she tells me

"What was he doing?" I ask keenly leaning in towards her. I back up a little just in case she thinks I'm trying to kiss her. I don't think I'm dealing with this whole 'knowing she likes me' thing very well.

"Just being a douche" Darcy says with a shrug "He probably didn't deserve to be hit, but girls don't really like it when they're touched without consent. Or when a boy tries to kiss them without. He was drunk though-"

"I'm gonna-"

"He also told me that I, a black woman, have no idea what oppression is and that he, a white straight dude, has a better understanding of it than I ever will" Darcy snarls sounding very angry

"Yikes" is all I can reply with

"He was drunk-"

"No, don't make excuses for him, he was out of line, I'll smack him" I exclaim. Liam. Prick. Always knew it.

"You'd punch someone for me?" she asks raising her eyebrows. Oh crap. Now she's going to think I'm her knight in shining armour. Abort. Abort.

"No" I tell her. Great, that's made this _so _much less awkward than it was before. She smiles and looks down at her drink. "Within reason" I go on "Like, if someone was attacking you in the street and you were defenceless than yes, I would. But I'm not a violent guy"

"Yeah, I can see that" she says

"Do I seem like a Hufflepuff to you or a Gryffindor?" I ask her. I had to.

She turns red and looks at her drink

Oh god what?

If she says I'm a Slytherin I'm out of here

"This is kind of embarrassing" she murmurs "But, I haven't exactly ever read a Harry Potter book...or seen any of the films"

I nearly shatter the glass I'm holding

"OH MY GOD" I exclaim "No wonder you're so detatc-no wonder you seem grumpy sometimes, how have you never opened yourself up to the wonders of the Wizarding World Darcy?"

"I don't know, it just seems kind of childish" she says with a shrug

"THE BOOKS CAME OUT WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN" I exclaim, making sure that my voice isn't too loud lest I accidentally give one of the three grey and dying old men a heart attack. "AND THOSE BOOKS ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN. BELIEVE ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW UPSET I WAS WHEN SHE KILLED OFF SIRIUS?"

"Was that a cat?"

Oh if this girl even thinks she has a future with me without a fundamental basic knowledge of all things Harry Potter then she is sadly mistaken...not that she has a chance of a future relationship with me. Like at all. Even a little bit. No way. I'm only being nice to her because when I want to be I can be fairly sensitive and kind and I genuinely don't want to hurt her.

God knows why.

She needs the hurt. She's never read Harry Potter.

Weirdo.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hi guys, sorry for the longer than usual wait but I have been settling into Uni. I've met some really nice people all ready including one really hot guy on my course who is a walking contradiction because despite the fact he's the sexiest things for miles his name is Hugo. Possibly one of the least sexiest names in the English language. Who calls their 19 year old Hugo? (no offense to anyone here called Hugo). I ask you. Luckily his looks more than make up for it. I was a little pathetic and breathless around him on the first day.

So, that's Kieran sorted...or so Eli thinks, there's some major Kieran drama to come but that's a way off. And I just added in that nice little scene between Eli and Darcy because I couldn't resist.

Hope you're all well!

**IrishJessy: **Thank you so much for reviewing. Yeah, Elijah is definitely very damaged and scarred from Jennifer and he's never been able to have a deep relationship with a girl since so he's in a bit of a weird place in his life. He wants to love and be loved deep down but he's very scared of it at the same time so acts a play boy to drive girls away from him but keep enough close that he doesn't go stir crazy. Yeah, my story has quite a comedic element to him and Eli's so outrageous and also a little awkward that I kind of couldn't resist letting him find out and then try to act accordingly around Darcy who likely just thinks he's being weird...which, ironically, only makes her like him more. This is as big of a thing for her as it is for him, but more on that in due course...

**aishteru naru: **Yeah! Team Eli 4 Ever

**Kettle Logic: **Glad your liking Eli and that he's coming across 3D. He's a genuinely good guy at heart, he just has some growing up to do before he gets there. Darcy doesn't have the best experiences with men, both within her family and out of it, so she's very cautious around them but like I've said before, she'll be getting more developed gradually as we go on. There's little hints in every chapter that explain her back story a little more.

**wendywho: **Haha! I think I was just a bit freaked out because every chapter thus far had been longer than the one before it, and this was the first time it wasn't. I'm glad you find Eli so funny, he's wired up very strangely in the brain.

**Guest123: **There will absolutely be some major shizzle going down at Hunsford, but it will be quite different to what goes on in the book as like you point out, Eli already knows Darcy's feelings (though not the full extent of them I feel I should point out). I am really toying with the idea of a Darcy chapter, and I really want to do like a side-story diary entry type of thing for her, because in my head she's such a vibrant alive character but as this stories from Eli's POV for the most part we're not really getting that yet. However, there are lots of twists and turns ahead and you will be finding out a lot about Darcy's past and Charlotte's reasons for leaving Netherfield here will make much more sense than they do in the book and other adaptations (where Bingley needs to grow a pair, quite frankly)

**MP: **Thank you, and yes, Eli is very out of his comfort zone with this. He's very used to girls throwing themselves at him because they think he's fit but not because they actually like him as a person. If you don't know Eli, he'd come across as very brash and arrogant

**AlexM: **I'm so, so, so glad you love this story and have so many things to say about it, that's every writers ideal situation really. Yes, there's some very funny scenes coming up where Elijah tries to hide the fact he knows how Darcy feels about him.

**DizzyLizzy.60 (c14): **Charlie cares a great deal about Elijah, as he says himself he's still a little bit in love with him, and he also knows Elijah better than anyone else really so in Charlie's head, he knows already that Eli and Darcy would be perfect together - his only challenge is getting the two idiots to realize it

**DizzyLizzy.60 (c15): **Darcy doesn't take shit from any man, frankly Eli's lucky he hasn't been punched yet!

One last thing before you're dismissed, this isn't a cast as such as many aren't English or even actors, but here's who I'm picturing when I write my characters:

Jack Bennet - Ben Hardy (Peter Beale, EastEnders)

Elijah Bennet - Dan Ferrari-Lane (District 3)

Marcus Bennet - Dylan O'Brien in The Internship

Kieran Bennett - Luke Hemmings (5 Seconds of Summer)

Aiden Bennett - Peyton Myer (Lucas, Girl Meets World)

Darcy Williams - Keke Palmer

Charlotte Bingley - Dianna Agron

Carl Bingley - Chad Michael Murray (Like Season 1 of One Tree Hill CMM)

Charlie Lucas - Adam Fielding (Kirin Kotetcha, Emmerdale)


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